If you missed part 1, read it here.

Ty’s first day of kindergarten was filled with highs and lows (the lows can all be attributed to Fefe). There was excitement as well as sadness and a little bit of anger mixed in too.  Most kindergarten first days run pretty smoothly, ours resulted in us getting kicked out of the school. Read on to hear all about it.

As you can tell from the vid, Ty was pumped & ready to go bright and early in the morning.  His comment about not wanting to be small in school actually struck a nerve with me and I’ll be addressing it in a later blog post.  What you couldn’t see from the video however is the excitement of the other members of our family.  Fefe got up super early, willingly I might add, and cooked a big breakfast for the whole family to send Ty off for his big day with plenty of nutrients.  Little does she know, she has now painted herself in a corner because I’ve been begging for breakfast before work for months now and she’s always “too tired” to wake up early enough to do it.  Well well well missy, if you can do it for Ty, then you can do it for me!!!

Continuing on, after breakfast the entire team got ready for the required photo op:

Let's Go Already

I Can Already See Tears

During the picture taking, Tre must have felt a tad bit left out & ran upstairs to get a book bag for himself.  Even though he wasn’t going to school, he was ready for the cameras and looking the part of a school boy nonetheless. 

Tre's All Set To Go

When it comes to event planning, Fefe should be avoided at all costs!  She was in charge and running point for the big day and had two MAJOR snafu’s.  First up, I don’t know if she was just eager to get rid of the boy or her excitement took over her better judgment; whatever the case, her timing for drop off was all screwed up.  She was well aware of the fact that the first bell rang at 8:45am, but for some unknown reason, she got us there at 8:20.  Okay, 25mins isn’t all that bad.  Yeah, it’s not that bad until you end up getting kicked out of the school.  What type of message does that send to Ty?  Kicked out on his first day? He’s destined to fail with a start like that! 

It wasn’t so bad, we were simply asked to wait outside until the bell rang because students aren’t actually allowed inside until first bell.  I thought that this “suggestion” was just a little too well timed however, because it came immediately after Tre threw a fit regarding going to pee in the potty.  Never mind the fact that he had already peed twice in a matter of 5 mins, he wanted to go again and made sure the entire school knew it.

Once our reprimand had been lifted, we entered the school and took Ty to his classroom.  After a quick paperwork check in, we were all giving hugs and saying our goodbyes.  Once Ty was completely covered with slobbery kisses, we sent him off to enjoy his first day; the kid didn’t bat an eye as he left us to walk into his class.  Everyone was prepared to let Ty take his first steps towards being a big kid; well everyone except Tre.   

The Kindergarten Mugshot

Fefe's Face Intentionally Cut Off; Too Many Tears

Tre began to express his desire to accompany Ty as he walked away heading towards his class.  We explained that Ty had to go to school to do work and Tre gets to go home and play with Mommy.  He didn’t care and fired back “Daddy, I got book bag, I go to school too”.  The little guy said it with such conviction that for a split second I actually was under the impression that a book bag was the only prerequisite for attending Kindergarten.  Luckily, Fefe was front and center to pick up the slack and enticed him with the promise of a popsicle at home.  He agreed to the terms and we were off.

Remember those snafus that I told you about?  Well the second one occurred when it was time to pick Ty up from the bus stop.  Fefe had the “bright” idea to walk to the bus stop to pick him up.  It’ll be nice she said, we can hear all about his day on the walk home she said.  Yeah, it would have been really nice IF IT WASN’T 97 DEGREES out!  After walking in blistering heat, and subsequently standing in the sun for 15 mins because the bus was late, Ty finally arrived & we were all pumped to hear about his day.  Unfortunately, it didn’t play out that way.  All Ty was concerned about was getting out of the heat and vowed not to say a word until we met his demands of air conditioning and ice cold water (we’re gonna have to work on his negotiating skills).

Once we got back home, Ty explained his day to us and it went something like this:

Me: So how was school?

Ty: It was GREAT!

Fefe: What did you do?

Ty: We did a bunch of stuff!

Fefe: Like what?

Ty:  Like, um, like, well a bunch of stuff

This banter carried on for a bit longer, eventually we were able to squeeze out that they watched 4 episodes of Clifford the Big Red Dog until the bell rang, went to the playground, he made 2 friends, they ate lunch, he colored some pictures but couldn’t bring them home, he can’t wear his Silly Bandz (thank God), the bus ride home was long, they read a book, and learned a new song.

Yup, that was pretty much his day in a nutshell, well actually it wasn’t in a nutshell for us because these little bits of information just kept spewing out periodically throughout the day.  There was no rhyme, reason, or cohesion to his story, but it was his story and he was proud of it!

Take No Prisoners Attitude?

Today is the first day of school for Ty, he’s been waiting for this day to come for quite some time now, it’s so funny seeing how eager he is to go to school because you & I both know how naive he’s being.  A few years from now, he’ll replace his enthusiasm for going to school with intense efforts to come up with top notch excuse to stay home one extra day. The first day of school was always exciting, I loved it. The new clothes, seeing old friends & making new ones, it was great.  Unfortunately, great didn’t last very long.  The first day of school was the second best day of the school year, only losing out to the last day of school!  But for me, that first day euphoria always quickly wore off. I wonder how long it will last for Ty.

I can vividly remember my first day of kindergarten and I honestly don’t recall my Dad being there. He probably had to work or something, but it still resonates in my memory banks that only my Mom was present on such an important day in my life. I’m ensuring that Ty doesn’t have that same memory; I’ll be there front & center this morning walking right by his side as he travels a path which will undoubtedly become the bane of his existence for the next 13 years! When he grows up, he won’t only remember his mom sobbing because her little boy is growing up, as I do. He’ll have another facet to that treasured memory, he’ll remember his Dad there smiling ever so proud, cheering him on. Saying “go on son, today you take baby steps towards becoming a man!” What he won’t know is that his Dad has ulterior motives. That his Dad is smiling because this is the first day on a long journey, a journey that 13yrs from now results in the boy leaving, going out on his own & me getting my house back!

So I totally meant to post this yesterday before leaving to take Ty to school, but through all the excitement, I forgot.  So to make it up to you, I’m giving you part 1 & 2 in the same day, how’s that for a bargain! Click here to read part 2 which recaps the trials and tribulations of Ty’s first day of school.

A Quarter Can Change The World

Allow me to take you back, back in time to a place when things were much much simpler.  Close your eyes for a moment and imagine…wait a minute, if you close your eyes, how can you read this post? Okay scratch that, keep your eyes open and imagine your oh so wonderful childhood, when you had not a care in the world.  Ah the good ole days right, a bag of chips cost 25 cents, summer actually meant 2 entire months of freedom.  Yeah, life was a lot easier back then and as much as we’d like to stay young forever, it’s not very feasible.  However, when there are kids around, you can be forever young, reliving your special memories through them.  That’s what happened to me the other day, Tre made a comment that showed my exactly how simplistic his world view is and it’s been the highlight of my week, possibly the whole month.

A few days ago, I get a call from Fefe while I’m at work. It was a short call, straight to the point: “You better bring home a quarter, gotta go”.  Just read that sentence for a moment; now imagine how baffled I was on the other end of the line listening to it.  I’ve recently introduced Fefe to the joys of one of my favorite television shows, “The Wire” so I thought this was some half-ass joke. Maybe she was pretending our phones were tapped and she was talking in code to set up a drug deal?  Whatever the case, I spent way more time than I should have trying to determine what was going on.  Completely stumped, I pushed it out of my mind and carried on.  Until I got a text while on my way home: “You get the quarter?” Okay, enough is enough, somebody’s gonna explain to me what’s going on here!

So I called her and demanded that she explain all of this quarter talk that she had been rambling about throughout the day. She gladly obliged and told me about a conversation that she had with Tre earlier in the day.

Tre: “Mommy, Daddy at work?”

Fefe: “Yes baby, Daddy’s at work”

Tre: “Daddy went to work to get quarters”

Fefe: “huh?”

Tre: “Daddy went to work to get green quarters for me, that’s why Daddy at work”

Fefe:  “Yes baby, you’re right.  That’s exactly why Daddy’s at work”

If you don’t speak toddler, that gibberish may not make a lot of sense to you, what Tre was trying to say is that Daddy goes to work to get quarters so that he can buy green gumballs.  How green gumballs became green quarters, I have no clue.  Quite frankly, I’m a little disturbed by the fact that I’m actually able to translate such things.  Maybe Tre has been watching “The Wire” and has learned to speak in code better than we have. 

I’m not sure how this kid already knows to associate me going to work with money, but somehow he has learned a basic understanding of the way the world works.  However flawed his understanding may be, the concept has been instilled in him.  The more I thought about it, the more it made me smile.  At two years old, the little guy has learned that his Daddy must leave him every day for several hours and go to “work” to bring home quarters to buy gumballs with.  It’s still taking a little bit of time to get use to the fact that my son is willing to pimp me out for 8-10hrs a day to receive a lousy quarter.  But you see, that’s really the beauty of it all.  At his age, a quarter is all he needs to satisfy his wants and the fact that Daddy has to work all day to get that quarter is acceptable because it’s what’s important to him at this point in time.  As he grows older, what’s important will change and become more complicated; with that change comes stress, worries, and disappointments.  So I hope he holds onto this simplistic outlook on life for as long as he can.  As long as he does, I’ll be happy to slave the day away for quarters to make my little guy happy.

I’ve learned something from this encounter with Tre.  When the weight of the world is on your shoulders, and things are becoming too much to handle, just think back to when times were a lot simpler, when your biggest worry was getting a quarter for the gumball machine.  Something that seems so trivial now, was actually very important to you way back then, and you somehow found a way to carry on, whether you got that quarter or not.  So while your current troubles may seem enormous to you now, in the future you may look back on them as being nothing more than a quarter in the gumball machine.

Yesterday was a day filled with many different emotions for me.  Who knew one simple event could create such a range of feelings in one individual.  Throughout the workday, anticipation built up to an all time high.  After work, knowing that this outing was growing ever closer, eagerness began to creep in.  During the short drive to our destination, eagerness turned to excitement; once we arrived I was in total bliss giddy as a school girl.  Shortly after however, things went really bad, really quick.  I’m talking stage diving and no one catches you bad.  It didn’t take long for me to realize that I had made a huge mistake.

When I read that previous paragraph, I thought to myself, “wow, was I about to pick up my Powerball winnings or possibly on the way to meet my favorite celebrity?” Then I snapped back and remembered exactly what event caused such a myriad of emotions and I hung my head slightly lower in shame.  In shame because a simple trip to the Drive-In theater should not be able to induce an entire rainbow of feelings in a grown man.  But you know what, I’m lifting my head up because I’m proud that the nostalgia of the Drive-In Theater hasn’t abandoned me.  It holds a special place in my heart, rooted in childhood and yesterday I was prepared to share that with my family for the first time.

Both of the boys were excited about our forthcoming adventure yesterday, although neither of them fully understood the magnitude of journey that we were about to embark on.  Tre was just excited to be leaving the house in his pajamas.  To him I believe the world as he knew it ceased to exist for a moment.  The excitement in his face when he finally realized that he was putting his pajamas on not to go to bed, but in fact to actually “go bye-bye” was priceless.  Ty on the other hand just could not grasp the concept of going to the movies, but staying in the car.  His expressions were those of someone utterly confused while being wildly excited at the same time.  Again, priceless.  These priceless moments all fed into my excitement that YES this is happening; my family is going to the drive in, as I had done so many times as a child.

Once we arrived, we lucked up and found a spot in the front row, dead center.  It was as if the stars were all aligned and the hands of fate were on our payroll.  Things were definitely different than the Drive-In back home, but hey it was still a Drive-In so no worries.  No worries, until we were told that since this was a “car optional” Drive-In and people mainly come to sit on the lawn and listen to the movie through the portable speakers next to the screen that we couldn’t have the car turned on.  No ignition means no AC and no AC in hot, humid, muggy weather means decreased excitement, increased attitude.  Nonetheless, we carried on and tried to enjoy the movie.

Then another unanticipated issue came up.  Tre’s bedtime is typically 7:30-8pm, the movie didn’t start until around 8:15.  Do you see where this is going?  When Tre is sleepy, Tre chooses one of three personas to assume: silly, cranky, or restless.  Well last night, for some odd reason, perhaps to mock me, he decided to pick all three.  He was constantly getting into things, constantly getting in trouble and constantly getting put into time out.  Don’t ask me how it’s possible to put a toddler in time out while trapped inside a 4 person car; just know that it can be done.  There were two main incidents that made me conclude, the Drive-In just isn’t for us.  Well at least not for the remainder of this summer. 

Incident #1: Tre decides that he is royalty and his fans need to see him, he needed to be one with the people.  So he decides to climb on my shoulder and stick his head out of the sunroof.  We thought it was cute, snapping pictures and laughing, until he decided to address his unsuspecting “followers”.  He started talking to people who were trying to enjoy the movie.  One person walking towards the concession stand was promptly told to go sit down by Tre, ruler of all that is to be ruled.  I swear the guy paused for a minute and actually considered returning to his blanket.  After a few brief conversations, we pulled him back into the car and you would have thought we were torturing this kid the way he cried and screamed to get back to the sunroof.

Incident #2:  After coming out of time out for the umpteenth time, I decided to let Tre sit up in the front with me to get a better view of the screen and hopefully hold his attention so that he wouldn’t continue to create mayhem.  What in the world was I thinking?  I’ve made some pretty dumb decisions throughout my lifetime, and I’m pretty sure that this one falls somewhere in the top 5.  As soon as he gets in the front, the kid instantly turns into Mario Andretti and acts as if he had mysteriously been teleported directly into the last lap of the Indy 500.  That’s when it happened, in one fell swoop, the boy put my car’s horn in a death grip.  I mean he really laid into that thing, I’m talking just got cut off on the highway, had to slam on your breaks, spilled your coffee on a white shirt while heading to an interview horn blow.  There were people sitting directly in front of our car, particularly a little old lady with her grandchildren.  The way this lady jumped out of her folding chair made me wish that I could die for her, because surely the only thing could follow a scare like that was a heart attack. 

After receiving death stares from more than a handful of people, I knew that my dream had become a nightmare and it was time to go.  As we drove away, a single tear dropped from my eye, because on that night, my childhood memories of family night at the Drive-In died a short, but painful death.

Me & My Babies Before I Had Real Babies

For the past three years, something has been missing in my life.  I’ve tried to tuck it away and forget my secret desires, but all of that hard work was ruined today; because for the first time in over three years, I rode a motorcycle.  The adrenaline is still pumping through my body as I type; I literally just got off of the sexy beast less than 30 minutes ago.  It was great, the wind was blowing, I felt as if I was one with the road, and felt alive.  As I sat down to write a blog post for your reading pleasure, I found myself with a horrible case of writer’s block.  Not because I had nothing to say, or because I couldn’t put the witty words together to create a humorous tale for you guys;  but because all I could think about was the thrill that I had just received from revving the engine on that motorcycle.  Then, just like that, it hit me; something inside me said “hey stupid, the kids are the reason that you got rid of your bike, talk about that”.  When those little voices (notice the pluralization) inside of my head command, I obey.  So let’s talk about the sacrifice and maturity that come along with parenthood.

I’ve been infatuated with motorcycles for as long as I can remember.  The speed, the loud noises, the stylish bodies, it all intrigued me.  When I was about 7, my older cousin bought a moped.  Now at that time, I was too young to understand that this was nothing more than a go-kart on two wheels.  All I knew is that it looked like a motorcycle, sounded like a motorcycle, so therefore it must have been a motorcycle.  My cousin instantly became the coolest person in the history of cool.  I said to myself at that moment that I would have a bike as soon as I was old enough and then I too would become the coolest of the cool.

As you can see, a seed was planted when I was very young and over the years it grew and grew until I finally purchased a bike.  When I did, my entire world changed, I was invigorated, and the road was my playground.   So I got this bike and everything was going great, Fefe even enjoyed riding on the back. My boss at the time told me “If you find a woman that will let you put her on the back of that thing more than once, MARRY HER, she’s a keeper” Not sure his logic was 100% accurate, but nonetheless, here we are married and living happily.  Well what went wrong you may be asking, why did I get rid of the toy that I loved so much?  I went wrong, I went very very wrong.

After a year or so, the thrill of riding a bike had started to wear off.  I’m an adrenaline junkie and just riding wasn’t enough for me anymore; I needed a bigger rush, the next level was calling me.  I started doing stupid things, things like going 180mph on the highway, standing on the bike, and even considering doing a wheelie.  Now all of these things were absolutely amazing, some of the most exhilarating times that I’ve had in my life.  But then I found out that Tre was on his way into this world and I was quickly snapped back to reality.  My actions were not one of a responsible parent and thankfully those little voices started screaming that to me every time I hopped on the bike.  I was being reckless and irresponsible.  The thought of not seeing my son born due to a stupid thrill was enough for me to realize that there are more important things in life than the next big thrill.  So I calmed down and rode like I had some sense, however it was never the same.  As I rode, that itch to just let it rip was always there and it scared the living hell out of me. 

The fact that I wanted to go fast (Ricky Bobby voice) even though I was putting myself and therefore my family at risk was enough to show that I didn’t have the self control required to continue to enjoy my passion.  Immediately after, in the blink of an eye, I gave it up; no looking back, no second thoughts.  I’ve always missed it and today proved that to me more than ever.  But when I think back to my previous actions, I begin to doubt if a new bike is the right move for me and my family.  Maybe one day, but for now I’ll keep it 4 wheels on the ground.

So what are your thoughts?  Is there anything that you’ve given up because of parenthood?  Something that you’ve had to sacrifice to ensure a higher quality of life for your children?  I’d love to hear about it.

This Has Got To Stop

Last night I tweeted a tweet that went a little something like this: “Silly Bandz are ruining the world, yes the world! The children are the future and Silly Bandz are corrupting them, therefore the world is doomed!”  I meant every word of that statement and I stand by it.  The things I’ve seen in association with these simple rubber bands have been enough to make a sane man check himself into Bellevue and never come out.  You want to know why the Swine Flu pandemic never happened, well it’s because the Bandz pandemic took over first.  I’ve seen frightening things people, and in an effort to educate you on the fight against Silly Bandz, I will share those memories that I fought so hard to repress, putting myself through pain and anguish all for the greater good of mankind.

These things come in different shapes and colors, THAT’S IT. They don’t do anything special, don’t make cool sounds, nothing, just different shapes and colors.  You would think with all of the technology floating around, our children would demand more from their newest fad, but they don’t. Silly Bandz are simple and they love them. Kids don’t even go outside to play anymore; they go outside to trade these stupid things.  Apparently, trading is a skilled art form that takes precision and accuracy to complete so there isn’t time for outrageous activities such as hide & seek, or tag.  One day, Ty was outside “playing” with his friends for at least 2 hours.  I checked on them periodically and I witnessed no playing at all.  They were just sitting on the ground talking, shuffling these rubber bands around amongst each other. When Ty came in, I asked why him and his friends weren’t playing. His response: “Oh we were playing, see look, I made some good trades. Look at this pig I got and oooohhhh check out this, ummm <blank stare> ummm, well I don’t know what it is, but it’s cool huh”.  All I could do was shake my head and look to Tre as our only hope.  Ty was too far gone, he couldn’t be saved, could no longer be trusted, he’d steal from his momma to get his hands on more Silly Bandz, he had become infected. 

The Infection Is Spreading

But not Tre, he was still pure, seemingly immune to the effects of this horrid disease.  But as with any pandemic, the strong can only hold out for so long. A few days ago, Ty purchased a new pack of Silly Bandz and was gracious enough to share 2 with his little brother.  Well gracious is a bit of an overstatement, it should really be replaced with FORCED.  This kid honestly didn’t want to give up those 2 Silly Bandz and for the life of me I couldn’t understand why.  I mean, he had about 70 split up between his wrists and just got a new pack of 24, so what’s the harm in giving up two of them? Maybe he was trying to protect Tre, trying to ensure that he wouldn’t make the same mistakes and walk to dangerous path that Ty had travelled down. Whatever his reasoning, it didn’t work.  Just that small sample was enough to infect Tre.  When this disease hits, it hits hard and fast.  Within two days Tre and his 2 Silly Bandz were inseparable. 

Last night during bedtime, Tre kept whining about his Silly Bandz, saying that he lost them.  After the fourth trip upstairs to find his lost possessions (which were always located right next to him in the bed), I said enough was enough.  I told him I was going to put them on the dresser so that he wouldn’t lose them and that right there was the biggest mistake of my life.  This boy cried like I had never seen him cry before, constantly repeating “I need Silly Bandz” in a tear-filled shivering tone. It was nearly unbearable; I couldn’t stand to watch how this disease affected him. So I gave them back and realized that I had now lost 2 sons to this wretched infection.

Based on what I’ve witnessed over the past few months, with last night being the icing on the cake; I now know that something must be done about this issue. Someone must take a stand and save our youth.  I’m planning a march on Washington to propose that our government fund a “FIGHT THE BANDZ” campaign. It’s going to have a really cool acronym like D.A.R.E. did with their drug campaign and together we are going to fight this epidemic and take our children back! Are you with me people???

REJECTED!!!

You know society is in a bad state when you find yourself saying to your 5 year old son: “Get used to it, you’re going to have to deal with it your entire life. Just learn to smile and say sorry. That’s just the way woman work”.  Now before some 60 year old radical from the feminist movement comes banging on my door to give me an earful about woman’s rights; please give me the chance to explain by providing the back story to that statement.  

Ty has a “girlfriend” and their “relationship” is the most entertaining thing to watch in the world.  The reason that it’s so funny is because it actually does resemble a real life adult relationship only on a smaller scale.  I’m not talking about the young couple who is newly in love either; I’m talking the old married couple who has been together for many years. The same couple that can let a drink of Orange Juice cause a day long feud (Thanks Kevin Hart).  Ty and his chick bicker and fight all the time, but then 5 minutes later are happy and playing together like nothing has happened.  It’s almost as if since they’re younger their relationship moves on a quicker timescale.  Shouldn’t it be the other way around though?  The older we get, the less time on this earth we have, so why does it take older people so long to make up and start “playing” again after a fight? I digress.

It’s not all bad times between them however.  They exchange gifts on holidays & dress to impress whenever they have play dates with each other.  And of course there’s the cheek kisses, oh boy, the thrill of getting a kiss from a girl was almost overwhelming for Ty.  I remember when Fefe texted me at work and told me Ty got his first kiss. I was all “Oh yeah, that’s my boy!!!” But when I got home, I had to curb my enthusiasm so that he wouldn’t try to get from half base to actual first base.  So when I got home I said “Ty, I heard you were kissed today…by a girrrrrrrrrrrllllll.” He was so utterly embarrassed that I thought he was going to run away, only to return after puberty hit.  I decided to have a little fun with Ty and told him that girls have cooties and now that he’s come into contact with one, he may have caught the cooties.  He tried to pretend that he didn’t believe me, but looking in his eyes told me that he was worried about cooties.  I told him to find out if he’s infected; we need to put a line on his hand with a green marker.  If that line turned red before the end of the day then he did indeed have cooties.  I swear the boy looked at his hand every 5 minutes up until his bedtime, as if his life depended on it.  The line never turned red and he was relieved to be cootie free.

After the cootie incident, Ty got over his embarrassment of cheek kisses and the “relationship” with his “girlfriend” continued to flourish.  Then it happened, Ty got smacked with a big dose of reality.  While they were playing one day, his girl decided that she was irrefutably mad at Ty and would no longer speak to him.  She sat on the floor arms folded, lip poked out, with the look of a woman scorned.  Ty kept trying to bring her toys to play with (he’s learning early, gifts brings smiles), but she was relentless with her anger; she couldn’t be bought off buy some sleazy action figure.  It would take much much more to sway her; I’m talking colossal, like a Barbie dream house or something. 

But like most men, Ty didn’t have the means to buy his way into forgiveness.  He came to me looking sad and defeated, like a puppy that had lost its owner.  He said: “she’s mad at me, but I didn’t do anything and she won’t tell me why she’s mad” and to that I said: “Buck up kid, get used to it, you’re going to have to deal with it your entire life. Just learn to smile and say sorry. That’s just the way woman work”

We never did find out what he had done, or why she was so mad at him, but eventually she got over it and they ended the day with a nice long cheek kiss.  I think Ty learned a valuable lesson that day, girls rule the world and the decisions of those in power rarely make sense, yet we must abide by them.

Sometimes I Feel Like This Guy

How many of you know that today is a worldwide holiday? Come on now, don’t all raise your hands at once. Well in case you’ve been in the dark for the past 2 decades, let me enlighten you. Today is none other than “MADDEN DAY”. That’s right; the beloved football game series has its own holiday for gamers worldwide. Madden Day is celebrated each year upon the release of the newest Madden football game by gamers worldwide. I have celebrated Madden Day in some way, shape, or form, for the past 15 years. Did you hear what I just said, for 15 years I have been coming back for more. Year after year, regardless of how great or horrible the game was; I was there front and center ready to hand over my hard earned cash in order to continue my legacy as a Madden great. This year however, I’m facing a decision of catastrophic proportions. Do I continue my Madden tradition and pick up the 2011 edition, or do I throw in the towel, call it quits and retire? To some, this may not seem like a perplexing problem; rest assured, after you read this post, you’ll understand why I’m so conflicted.

You guys have to understand, Madden and I have history together. I’ve sacrificed a lot for my Madden game playing pleasure. I can remember back in high school, when Madden Day came around I would skip school in order to get a leg up on the competition (don’t tell my mom). Before Madden tournaments became the thing to do, I was hosting them at my Mom’s house. We had official rules, about 20 contenders and a grand prize of a couple hundred dollars. Do you know how awesome that sounds to a teenager? I’m going to play a video game and possible get paid to do it? I created a Madden utopia for my friends. If that wasn’t bad enough, I installed a TV screen in my car with a playstation; my friends and I would ride around for hours playing Madden. We never got really far however, because I had to pull over each 1st down so that I could get a play in. It’s sad I know, if there was such a thing as Madden Rehab, I should have been signed up and committed a long time ago.

But you see, the glory years of Madden are long gone. Back in the day, Madden was always a fun and exciting game for me because of the cheesy gameplay mechanics that I was able to exploit so easily. Mechanics such as the unstoppable Hail Mary; I perfected this move and used it to hoist me into the Madden hall of fame. Seriously, I once beat a near and dear friend (who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent) 110-7. Do you understand the magnitude of a crushing defeat such as that? 110 points in one single game, with 5 minute quarters? It’s almost unheard of! After that game, well after I grabbed my disposable camera to snap a picture of the end game screen, I knew that I would love this game forever and I would be a force to be reckoned with throughout the test of time. Oh how wrong I was.

A few years after I handed out that crushing defeat, I felt myself losing my touch. My Hail Mary’s weren’t connecting with precision like they used to, my running backs weren’t putting up 300 yard games anymore. I was concerned, but not too worried; that is, until the unthinkable happened. My little cousin, who is 6 years my junior stepped up to the plate one year and beat me. Not only did he beat me, he Chris Brown’d me (okay bad joke), seriously though, my ego was black and blue after getting slaughtered by this young buck. I was so down and out after the defeat that I engaged in an offense that is all too telling of an aging Madden player. I broke down and bought a strategy guide. I know, I know, please resist the urge to throw rocks and stones at me. I saw it as my only way to reclaim greatness and sit upon the Madden throne once again. It was akin to a washed up boxer who uses steroids to boost his abilities in the ring. The sad thing is that it didn’t help me at all. I continued to get worse as the number behind the Madden name climbed higher

My last season of Madden could be compared to Iverson’s last season in the NBA. As a washed up player, I was so excited when I won my first game that I nearly cried. Like Iverson however, those tears of joy were short lived. Half way through the season, I was getting beat so bad that I was afraid John Madden himself was going to come to my house and take my game away from me. So you see, here is my dilemma, I love the Madden series, I’ve been a faithful fan for 15 plus years; however, as I grow older and the games become more complex, my skill level drops drastically. So what do I do? Shall I retire, call it quits, and hand in my sticks? Or do I tough it out and continue to be the old guy on the field constantly getting outshined by the young bucks? I’m not sure which answer is best for me. For now, I’m considering myself the Brett Farve of Madden. I’m the old guy that knows he’s washed up and should throw in the towel, but loves the game so much that he can’t bring himself to do it. Maybe this will be my breakout year and I’ll shock the world, or maybe I’ll just walk away from it all while I still can. Only time will tell, but seeing as how today IS Madden Day, I only have a few hours left to decide. Until I do, the fans (I mean readers) are just left guessing.

Wow, so today is August 6, 2010 and that means that it has been one complete year since my first post here at Daddy’s Fish Bowl. Now normally I would make a huge deal out of this, pop champagne, and break out the noise makers. You guys would send all types of lavish gifts to congratulate me on my 1 year blogversary and we would all party like it’s 1999 (wait, is that saying still relevant?) Well hold on to all of your presents because I’m not making a big stink about it due to the fact that I took a 6 month hiatus. It doesn’t really seem proper to celebrate an anniversary if you’ve only been together half of the year. So today is just another regular day in the blogosphere for me. Maybe next year we can have a party.

Don’t get all down and out just yet however, because today is special for a much greater reason. Today is Fefe’s birthday, so that’s more than reason enough to party and celebrate!!! So with that said, I’m going to step away from the computer and go enjoy some quality time with my wife for her birthday. As a parting gift, I leave you with an original poem that I wrote and “performed” for her, which describes how truly special she is.

I Love You Babe, Happy Birthday!!!!

So you know how the old saying goes: “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. Well, you guys know me, I don’t abide by those rules, my life is an open book for you, the reader, and Vegas is no exception. So I’m getting ready to give you all the nitty gritty, down & dirty details of my recent Vegas trip! And I do mean everything. Prostitutes, check! Vegas scams, check! Staying up until the wee hours of the night, check!!! This trip was one to be remembered, unfortunately not for the typical reasons that you may think.

Now that I’ve got your attention, & you’ve popped the popcorn & settled in to read this graphic “tell all” post about our wild and crazy Vegas adventure, I have to let you know that it was anything but wild & crazy. It was more like tame & lazy. I said this trip was one to remember & it was, because it truly showed me how much I’ve changed in these short few years since children have become a part of my life.

I listed a few crazy activities at the beginning of this post, followed by a check to signify that they occurred. But now with the revelation that this trip was anything but hot & steamy, you may be feeling cheated, like I lied to you. Well rest assured, your resident Daddy blogger has the utmost respect for you guys & continues to keep his dignity intact. There were prostitutes involved in this trip; I grabbed several calling cards from the street vendors for inclusion in Fefe’s upcoming scrapbook. So we did have somewhat of an encounter with the ladies of the night. Also, there was definitely a Vegas scam being run. Unfortunately, I was the recipient & not the conductor (more on this later).

This all feeds into my realization of how much I’ve changed (in my mind for the better). During my only other Vegas trip, I was essentially a vampire; sleeping during the day, partying all night & then scurrying back to the hotel as the sun came up. This time around, I was a full blown tourist, waking up at the crack of dawn to go see the sights, & barely staying awake past midnight. During my last trip, I got hustled by a tag team of strippers (a story for another time that I’ll never tell). This time, I got hustled by street vendors while I was attempting to get my son a great souvenir (See Vids Below). This trip, I went to see a few of the shows Vegas has to offer. Cirque du Soleil’s “O” & The Price is Right were both awesome & I highly recommend them, even though the Price is Right gets added to the long list of Vegas scams in my book. But the point is, this time around, I did old people stuff (sorry old people) and went to view some of the shows Vegas is famous for, while during my last visit, we basically created our own show which could have made Vegas famous had it not already been a world renown city.

Video #1 – Street Vendors Performance: So as we were walking the strip, we ran across this ultra cool demonstration of a “magical” pet. As you can see from the vid, it follows you everywhere.  I immediately thought how cool it would be for Ty and purchased it after a quick “tutorial”.

Video #2 – Ty’s Performance: Boy oh boy was I disappointed when we got it home and found out the stupid thing was just attached to a string, did you see a string in that damn video? I sure didn’t!  Suprisingly, Ty still loved it and is convinced that he’s a master magician now, although after watching his performance you may choose to disagree, lol. Enjoy.

All in all, this was a great way to celebrate the wife’s birthday. We had a great time seeing the sights and hanging out with friends.  It was also damn nice to get away from the kids for a bit, but to be honest, I really missed them.  As much as I tried not to admit it, those little buggers were on my mind constantly, as witnessed by my FaceTime calls every time I got around some free wifi.  Vegas showed me many things this time around, but most importantly, it showed me that I’m a Dad and being a Dad is what I love to do. Things that used to excite me, just don’t anymore. At first I was saddened by this fact, but when I really think about it, there’s nothing to be sad about. I have an entire new catalog of things that excite me now and they all stem from Ty & Tre.  When you compare those two little guys to clubs, gambling, and strippers, I say Ah, Vegas, you can keep that stuff, I’ve got all the excitement I need.