If you missed part 1, read it here.

Ty’s first day of kindergarten was filled with highs and lows (the lows can all be attributed to Fefe). There was excitement as well as sadness and a little bit of anger mixed in too.  Most kindergarten first days run pretty smoothly, ours resulted in us getting kicked out of the school. Read on to hear all about it.

As you can tell from the vid, Ty was pumped & ready to go bright and early in the morning.  His comment about not wanting to be small in school actually struck a nerve with me and I’ll be addressing it in a later blog post.  What you couldn’t see from the video however is the excitement of the other members of our family.  Fefe got up super early, willingly I might add, and cooked a big breakfast for the whole family to send Ty off for his big day with plenty of nutrients.  Little does she know, she has now painted herself in a corner because I’ve been begging for breakfast before work for months now and she’s always “too tired” to wake up early enough to do it.  Well well well missy, if you can do it for Ty, then you can do it for me!!!

Continuing on, after breakfast the entire team got ready for the required photo op:

Let's Go Already

I Can Already See Tears

During the picture taking, Tre must have felt a tad bit left out & ran upstairs to get a book bag for himself.  Even though he wasn’t going to school, he was ready for the cameras and looking the part of a school boy nonetheless. 

Tre's All Set To Go

When it comes to event planning, Fefe should be avoided at all costs!  She was in charge and running point for the big day and had two MAJOR snafu’s.  First up, I don’t know if she was just eager to get rid of the boy or her excitement took over her better judgment; whatever the case, her timing for drop off was all screwed up.  She was well aware of the fact that the first bell rang at 8:45am, but for some unknown reason, she got us there at 8:20.  Okay, 25mins isn’t all that bad.  Yeah, it’s not that bad until you end up getting kicked out of the school.  What type of message does that send to Ty?  Kicked out on his first day? He’s destined to fail with a start like that! 

It wasn’t so bad, we were simply asked to wait outside until the bell rang because students aren’t actually allowed inside until first bell.  I thought that this “suggestion” was just a little too well timed however, because it came immediately after Tre threw a fit regarding going to pee in the potty.  Never mind the fact that he had already peed twice in a matter of 5 mins, he wanted to go again and made sure the entire school knew it.

Once our reprimand had been lifted, we entered the school and took Ty to his classroom.  After a quick paperwork check in, we were all giving hugs and saying our goodbyes.  Once Ty was completely covered with slobbery kisses, we sent him off to enjoy his first day; the kid didn’t bat an eye as he left us to walk into his class.  Everyone was prepared to let Ty take his first steps towards being a big kid; well everyone except Tre.   

The Kindergarten Mugshot

Fefe's Face Intentionally Cut Off; Too Many Tears

Tre began to express his desire to accompany Ty as he walked away heading towards his class.  We explained that Ty had to go to school to do work and Tre gets to go home and play with Mommy.  He didn’t care and fired back “Daddy, I got book bag, I go to school too”.  The little guy said it with such conviction that for a split second I actually was under the impression that a book bag was the only prerequisite for attending Kindergarten.  Luckily, Fefe was front and center to pick up the slack and enticed him with the promise of a popsicle at home.  He agreed to the terms and we were off.

Remember those snafus that I told you about?  Well the second one occurred when it was time to pick Ty up from the bus stop.  Fefe had the “bright” idea to walk to the bus stop to pick him up.  It’ll be nice she said, we can hear all about his day on the walk home she said.  Yeah, it would have been really nice IF IT WASN’T 97 DEGREES out!  After walking in blistering heat, and subsequently standing in the sun for 15 mins because the bus was late, Ty finally arrived & we were all pumped to hear about his day.  Unfortunately, it didn’t play out that way.  All Ty was concerned about was getting out of the heat and vowed not to say a word until we met his demands of air conditioning and ice cold water (we’re gonna have to work on his negotiating skills).

Once we got back home, Ty explained his day to us and it went something like this:

Me: So how was school?

Ty: It was GREAT!

Fefe: What did you do?

Ty: We did a bunch of stuff!

Fefe: Like what?

Ty:  Like, um, like, well a bunch of stuff

This banter carried on for a bit longer, eventually we were able to squeeze out that they watched 4 episodes of Clifford the Big Red Dog until the bell rang, went to the playground, he made 2 friends, they ate lunch, he colored some pictures but couldn’t bring them home, he can’t wear his Silly Bandz (thank God), the bus ride home was long, they read a book, and learned a new song.

Yup, that was pretty much his day in a nutshell, well actually it wasn’t in a nutshell for us because these little bits of information just kept spewing out periodically throughout the day.  There was no rhyme, reason, or cohesion to his story, but it was his story and he was proud of it!

Take No Prisoners Attitude?

Today is the first day of school for Ty, he’s been waiting for this day to come for quite some time now, it’s so funny seeing how eager he is to go to school because you & I both know how naive he’s being.  A few years from now, he’ll replace his enthusiasm for going to school with intense efforts to come up with top notch excuse to stay home one extra day. The first day of school was always exciting, I loved it. The new clothes, seeing old friends & making new ones, it was great.  Unfortunately, great didn’t last very long.  The first day of school was the second best day of the school year, only losing out to the last day of school!  But for me, that first day euphoria always quickly wore off. I wonder how long it will last for Ty.

I can vividly remember my first day of kindergarten and I honestly don’t recall my Dad being there. He probably had to work or something, but it still resonates in my memory banks that only my Mom was present on such an important day in my life. I’m ensuring that Ty doesn’t have that same memory; I’ll be there front & center this morning walking right by his side as he travels a path which will undoubtedly become the bane of his existence for the next 13 years! When he grows up, he won’t only remember his mom sobbing because her little boy is growing up, as I do. He’ll have another facet to that treasured memory, he’ll remember his Dad there smiling ever so proud, cheering him on. Saying “go on son, today you take baby steps towards becoming a man!” What he won’t know is that his Dad has ulterior motives. That his Dad is smiling because this is the first day on a long journey, a journey that 13yrs from now results in the boy leaving, going out on his own & me getting my house back!

So I totally meant to post this yesterday before leaving to take Ty to school, but through all the excitement, I forgot.  So to make it up to you, I’m giving you part 1 & 2 in the same day, how’s that for a bargain! Click here to read part 2 which recaps the trials and tribulations of Ty’s first day of school.

This Has Got To Stop

Last night I tweeted a tweet that went a little something like this: “Silly Bandz are ruining the world, yes the world! The children are the future and Silly Bandz are corrupting them, therefore the world is doomed!”  I meant every word of that statement and I stand by it.  The things I’ve seen in association with these simple rubber bands have been enough to make a sane man check himself into Bellevue and never come out.  You want to know why the Swine Flu pandemic never happened, well it’s because the Bandz pandemic took over first.  I’ve seen frightening things people, and in an effort to educate you on the fight against Silly Bandz, I will share those memories that I fought so hard to repress, putting myself through pain and anguish all for the greater good of mankind.

These things come in different shapes and colors, THAT’S IT. They don’t do anything special, don’t make cool sounds, nothing, just different shapes and colors.  You would think with all of the technology floating around, our children would demand more from their newest fad, but they don’t. Silly Bandz are simple and they love them. Kids don’t even go outside to play anymore; they go outside to trade these stupid things.  Apparently, trading is a skilled art form that takes precision and accuracy to complete so there isn’t time for outrageous activities such as hide & seek, or tag.  One day, Ty was outside “playing” with his friends for at least 2 hours.  I checked on them periodically and I witnessed no playing at all.  They were just sitting on the ground talking, shuffling these rubber bands around amongst each other. When Ty came in, I asked why him and his friends weren’t playing. His response: “Oh we were playing, see look, I made some good trades. Look at this pig I got and oooohhhh check out this, ummm <blank stare> ummm, well I don’t know what it is, but it’s cool huh”.  All I could do was shake my head and look to Tre as our only hope.  Ty was too far gone, he couldn’t be saved, could no longer be trusted, he’d steal from his momma to get his hands on more Silly Bandz, he had become infected. 

The Infection Is Spreading

But not Tre, he was still pure, seemingly immune to the effects of this horrid disease.  But as with any pandemic, the strong can only hold out for so long. A few days ago, Ty purchased a new pack of Silly Bandz and was gracious enough to share 2 with his little brother.  Well gracious is a bit of an overstatement, it should really be replaced with FORCED.  This kid honestly didn’t want to give up those 2 Silly Bandz and for the life of me I couldn’t understand why.  I mean, he had about 70 split up between his wrists and just got a new pack of 24, so what’s the harm in giving up two of them? Maybe he was trying to protect Tre, trying to ensure that he wouldn’t make the same mistakes and walk to dangerous path that Ty had travelled down. Whatever his reasoning, it didn’t work.  Just that small sample was enough to infect Tre.  When this disease hits, it hits hard and fast.  Within two days Tre and his 2 Silly Bandz were inseparable. 

Last night during bedtime, Tre kept whining about his Silly Bandz, saying that he lost them.  After the fourth trip upstairs to find his lost possessions (which were always located right next to him in the bed), I said enough was enough.  I told him I was going to put them on the dresser so that he wouldn’t lose them and that right there was the biggest mistake of my life.  This boy cried like I had never seen him cry before, constantly repeating “I need Silly Bandz” in a tear-filled shivering tone. It was nearly unbearable; I couldn’t stand to watch how this disease affected him. So I gave them back and realized that I had now lost 2 sons to this wretched infection.

Based on what I’ve witnessed over the past few months, with last night being the icing on the cake; I now know that something must be done about this issue. Someone must take a stand and save our youth.  I’m planning a march on Washington to propose that our government fund a “FIGHT THE BANDZ” campaign. It’s going to have a really cool acronym like D.A.R.E. did with their drug campaign and together we are going to fight this epidemic and take our children back! Are you with me people???

REJECTED!!!

You know society is in a bad state when you find yourself saying to your 5 year old son: “Get used to it, you’re going to have to deal with it your entire life. Just learn to smile and say sorry. That’s just the way woman work”.  Now before some 60 year old radical from the feminist movement comes banging on my door to give me an earful about woman’s rights; please give me the chance to explain by providing the back story to that statement.  

Ty has a “girlfriend” and their “relationship” is the most entertaining thing to watch in the world.  The reason that it’s so funny is because it actually does resemble a real life adult relationship only on a smaller scale.  I’m not talking about the young couple who is newly in love either; I’m talking the old married couple who has been together for many years. The same couple that can let a drink of Orange Juice cause a day long feud (Thanks Kevin Hart).  Ty and his chick bicker and fight all the time, but then 5 minutes later are happy and playing together like nothing has happened.  It’s almost as if since they’re younger their relationship moves on a quicker timescale.  Shouldn’t it be the other way around though?  The older we get, the less time on this earth we have, so why does it take older people so long to make up and start “playing” again after a fight? I digress.

It’s not all bad times between them however.  They exchange gifts on holidays & dress to impress whenever they have play dates with each other.  And of course there’s the cheek kisses, oh boy, the thrill of getting a kiss from a girl was almost overwhelming for Ty.  I remember when Fefe texted me at work and told me Ty got his first kiss. I was all “Oh yeah, that’s my boy!!!” But when I got home, I had to curb my enthusiasm so that he wouldn’t try to get from half base to actual first base.  So when I got home I said “Ty, I heard you were kissed today…by a girrrrrrrrrrrllllll.” He was so utterly embarrassed that I thought he was going to run away, only to return after puberty hit.  I decided to have a little fun with Ty and told him that girls have cooties and now that he’s come into contact with one, he may have caught the cooties.  He tried to pretend that he didn’t believe me, but looking in his eyes told me that he was worried about cooties.  I told him to find out if he’s infected; we need to put a line on his hand with a green marker.  If that line turned red before the end of the day then he did indeed have cooties.  I swear the boy looked at his hand every 5 minutes up until his bedtime, as if his life depended on it.  The line never turned red and he was relieved to be cootie free.

After the cootie incident, Ty got over his embarrassment of cheek kisses and the “relationship” with his “girlfriend” continued to flourish.  Then it happened, Ty got smacked with a big dose of reality.  While they were playing one day, his girl decided that she was irrefutably mad at Ty and would no longer speak to him.  She sat on the floor arms folded, lip poked out, with the look of a woman scorned.  Ty kept trying to bring her toys to play with (he’s learning early, gifts brings smiles), but she was relentless with her anger; she couldn’t be bought off buy some sleazy action figure.  It would take much much more to sway her; I’m talking colossal, like a Barbie dream house or something. 

But like most men, Ty didn’t have the means to buy his way into forgiveness.  He came to me looking sad and defeated, like a puppy that had lost its owner.  He said: “she’s mad at me, but I didn’t do anything and she won’t tell me why she’s mad” and to that I said: “Buck up kid, get used to it, you’re going to have to deal with it your entire life. Just learn to smile and say sorry. That’s just the way woman work”

We never did find out what he had done, or why she was so mad at him, but eventually she got over it and they ended the day with a nice long cheek kiss.  I think Ty learned a valuable lesson that day, girls rule the world and the decisions of those in power rarely make sense, yet we must abide by them.

Disclaimer: This post was suppose to be all about summer activities, but then a memory struck me and the entire post shifted.  Sorry, read on and you’ll see it was a good shift.

Summer is nearly half way over and I’m left wondering where the time went.  It seriously doesn’t seem like the middle of July is here already.  But then I look back and realize that the reason summer is passing me by is because of all these gosh darn activities that we’ve been involved with for the kids.  This year, some dummy (me) was looking through the activity catalog and make the bright decision to sign them up for everything. When I say everything, I really mean just about EVERYTHING. We had basketball, T-ball, swimming, karate, soccer, gymnastics, art, and music classes.  It’s been a lot of fun and the kids really enjoy being involved in so many different things, but secretly, I must say that I’m happy we’ve reached the midway point and it’s almost over.

I have to say that so far, T-ball has been my favorite activity of the bunch.  There’s just something about watching a bunch of 2 year olds attempt to play the sport of mini-baseball.  It’s honestly hilarious, and I’d recommend it as therapy to anyone having bad day.  At this age, I think the parents are the ones who get the most out of an activity like this.  The kids just enjoy the freedom of running around, they could care less about throwing a ball or running the bases, all they really want to do is RUN.  Tre never did fully grasp the concept of tagging a person out, but by the end of the “season” he did eventually master running the bases by himself and for that he gets two thumbs up!

Oh man, that statement has just caused me to go on a total tangent.  Sorry if you’re really into the activities stuff right now, but we’re switching gears for a moment.  Did you know that people don’t instinctively know how to give a thumbs up? ME EITHER! Not until Tre’s T-ball class, at the end of class everyone huddled up and was suppose to put their thumbs in to do a celebratory cheer.  Well low & behold, the toddlers were all baffled.  Some of them were sticking their index finger in the pile, others just putting entire fists in there.  One thing was for sure, there was an excessive absence of tiny thumbs present for our cheer.  After witnessing this travesty, I was utterly appalled, how could I have missed this? My son, my flesh and blood was currently incapable of giving a thumbs up. How could this be; if he can’t give a thumbs up, he most certainly can’t pull of the much more complicated “wink and a gun”, and if he can’t do that, how in the world will he be able to impress hot chics?  This was a truly shocking and upsetting moment, but after I regained consciousness and realized that all was not loss, that there was still time to save him; I got to work and prepared for a long and grueling training session to whip my boy into shape (queue up Rocky Theme Music).

I had a long road ahead of me, after hours and hours of extensive research, I discovered that separating the thumb from the other four fingers and using it independently wasn’t a natural instinct, but indeed something that could be taught.  Ah ha, the glimmer of hope that I needed, let the training begin!  We performed hours upon hours (okay, minutes upon minutes) of hardcore thumb pumping drills.  I’d do quick thumbs up, slow thumbs up, even two thumbs up, but his thumbs were never at that oh so desirable 90 degree angle.  Ready to throw in the towel, head hanging low, I took one last look at my boy and saw a montage of how pitiful his life was going to be, now that he had failed thumbs up boot camp.  Just then, as if to say, “Don’t you give up on me yet Dad” his little pint sized hand slowly started to rise! Higher, and higher it went, all the while, his thumb emerging from his little fist until finally it happened, a full 90 degree thumbs up!

Ha Ha, take that! We had done it, together, we had achieved greatness and I couldn’t wait until the next class to show off Tre’s talents.  During that class, I wasn’t focused at all, totally missing ground balls, striking out at bat, but none of that mattered, because at the end of class, we would be shining, we would show those 2 year olds the best thumbs up in the world.  Then it happened, class was finally over, it was time to huddle up and grab the glory.  Coach instructed everyone to put their thumbs in for a cheer and dammit, wouldn’t you know almost every darn kid there had a thumb poking out. Then I look at Tre and he’s standing there index finger stretched as far as can be, still with the look of greatness on his face that we had prepared for.  All I could do was laugh, and hold my head high as I died a small death on the inside due to my foolishness.  He tried and whether it’s sports, or thumbs up, that’s all that matters and I’ll always be proud of him.

Oh yeah, by the way, the title was reflected at my stupidity. In case you missed that.

Do you remember when you first learned to ride your bike without training wheels? If you’re anything like me, that moment was THE single most important achievement of your 5 to 6 years on this planet. Well some 20 odd years after I learned to do it, I’ve taught Ty to ride without training wheels & it felt as though I had achieved greatness again. What’s even better is that I was able to witness the feeling of a 5 year old conquering his biggest challenge yet & it was invigorating to be on the other side this time. But then that all came crashing to a fiery end; once the excitement subsided, the dreadful memories of my training wheel boot camp came flooding back & the tears of joy that I shed for Ty turned to tears of heartache and pain.

You might be saying to yourself: “come on Keith, it couldn’t have been that bad” Well it was, first off, when I was taught to ride, there were no fancy bike helmets & pads. If there were I surely didn’t have them. Handy “teach your kid to ride” guides, like the one I’m writing right now weren’t readily available either. So the process was a very long, tedious, & injury full one. My Dad thought it’d be a good idea to start teaching me in the grass, “the grass is soft” he said, “it doesn’t hurt if you fall” he said. WRONG, the grass is not soft and it certainly hurt when I fell.  I think his words gave me a false sense of security and caused me to believe that I was invincible as long as I was in the grass. 

Once we moved to the pavement, I was so badly bruised up that the fear of another fall is probably the only thing that kept me upright for so long.  My Dad gave me the “I won’t let go until you tell me line” and we were off.  Unfortunately, my Mom hadn’t gotten the memo and when she came outside and witnessed me riding was so overjoyed that she began applauding my efforts.  Well this kind of tipped me off to the fact that Dad was no longer holding on, my first thought was the pavement is a lot harder than the grass so I have to stop before this ends badly.  Between all of the excitement, I totally forgot all of my brake safety lessons and this lesson ended in a big boom.  Let’s just say I stuck to my scooter for a while after that.

My experience with riding wasn’t fun, which is part of the reason I put off teaching Ty for so long, but luckily his experience was a lot more pleasurable than mines. He didn’t have one scrape, cut, or bruise by the time we finished.  Hell, he only fell once and even that wasn’t a complete fall.  He was a natural and it warmed my heart to see him excel so well.  I don’t know if it was the 95 degree heat, or his own determination, but we were only out there for 5 minutes before he took off on his own and was riding freely.  He was ecstatic, I was relieved.  All of the alcohol, peroxide, and band aids could be safely tucked away in the medicine cabinet for another time.

***Sidenote*** I’ve talked to my parents about my memories of learning to ride and they deny all events.  They claim, I learned to ride in a matter of minutes and didn’t shed a tear doing so.  Did I obtain the memories of my past from some movie or TV show, or are they covering up a family conspiracy?  They sounded suspicious in their recollection and kept giving each other shifty glances (We had this conversation over FaceTime) so I don’t believe them. Until time machines are cheap enough for household use, the debate wages on.

Tips To Teach Your Kid To Ride Without Training Wheels

• Start with a scooter, it teaches the child the art of balancing their weight, which is crucial for riding without training wheels
• Don’t hold the handlebars, hold the seat only.  The handle bars are used for both steering and balance, if you hold on to them, the child won’t get a since of their weight shifting and how to adjust accordingly
• Ensure they have a good understanding of how to use the brakes so that once they get going, they’ll be able to stop without jumping (or falling) off the bike.
• Tell them up front that they are probably going to fall and may even get a scratch or cut.  This makes them aware of the possibility so that if it happens they will be more willing to get back on and try again.
• Don’t tell them that you won’t let go, the shock and enjoyment of a child realizing that they’re doing it on their own is enough to cause an immediate crash.  Instead, by informing them that you will let go at some point, they already know that they’ll be doing it on their own at some point
• Avoid the grass. It is more difficult to pedal in the grass than on the pavement, which diverts attention away from more important things such as balance and proper break usage

These are the tips I used to teach Ty to ride his bike in under 5 minutes, they may not be all inclusive or universal for every child, but I’d say it’s a good place to start.  What tips or tricks have you used to teach your child?  Are there any memories of your own learning experience that helped or hindered your progress in becoming a teacher?

Should of got me an iPad for Father's Day

So yesterday was Father’s Day huh?  The one day of the year were Dads around the world are given unanimous appreciation for their efforts as father’s.  For me, Father’s Day is always a great and special day (because I love getting gifts, lol).  However, this Father’s Day ended in pain and suffering and with me being all alone.  That description sounds somewhat similar to the type of information that I was receiving from my Twitter timeline and Facebook feed,   It appears that Father’s Day isn’t a great holiday for everyone, I witnessed a lot of male bashing, which is probably well deserved, but it definitely showed me The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly of Father’s Day.  Since, my day started off great, but didn’t end in the same fashion, it seems like that good, bad, and ugly trend that I noticed on social media in reference to Father’s Day isn’t only restricted to bad Dads.

THE GOOD

It's our house. The windows are pics of the familhy

Well my day started off with the relaunch of this site, which was excellent! The response and support from all of you guys was exceptional and I honestly appreciate it.  Things only got better from there, once the wife and kids woke up, I was showered with hugs & kisses (after a short delay) as well as Father’s Day wishes and an exceptional amount of attention.  The wife cooked breakfast, and the kids showed off their gifts, one of which is pictured above. Things were going great, I felt like the King of my castle and was loving every minute.  The boys and I had an awesome wrestling session and played with cars, action figures, and play tools; you know, all the activities that great Dad’s are made of.  After that, I was allowed to enjoy a nice PS3 session, courtesy of Fefe occupying the kids time. I was under the impression that things couldn’t get any better.  Then it happened, the wife told me that she was taking me to HOOTER’S for lunch!!!! WOW, so it’s Father’s Day and my reward is to look at chics in skimpy outfits without detrimental consequence?  Plus I was promised a nice Angus beef steak dinner and massage to top off the night! Does it get any gooder than that? I don’t think so! (I know “gooder” isn’t a word, but it fits with the theme of the post, so roll with it)

THE BAD

A grown man with Silly Bandz? SMH, FML

Let me explain something here, the good, bad, and ugly don’t always come in that exact order. In my case :”the bad” started on Saturday and didn’t get really bad until the evening of Father’s Day. I received a package from my mom on Saturday and while I thought this would be a nice gift to celebrate my upcoming day, it turned out to be another prank in our long going feud (to be later explained in a future post).  As soon as I opened the package, I knew it was going to be a problem.  She sent me a card, but for some reason it was really puffy and soft, that could only mean one thing; my mom had done the unthinkable and sent me a pack of Silly Bandz for Father’s Day. She knows that I despise those stupid things so she got a kick out of hearing of my reaction when opening them.  The Silly Bandz were bad, but it was a good joke that I could live with.  What I couldn’t live with was the fact that Fefe through manipulation of our child, Ty, forced me to wear them on Father’s Day.  I think the things look completely ridiculous on kids so imagine the shame and embarrassment that I felt while walking around with these brightly colored rubber bands around my wrist.  Matter of fact, you don’t have to imagine, just look at the pic, it’s written all over my face!

THE UGLY

This is where things got really bad! We decided to have a nice family night out at putt putt to celebrate Father’s Day. It started out great, besides the fact that I was wearing a rainbow of rubber bands on my arm that was cutting off my circulation.  Our local putt putt spot was running a special where Dads got to golf free. The weather was great, and I was with my family, what else could I ask for?  Well I guess I should have asked for my wife to be blessed with the reflexes of a ninja because the first swing of the game ended up being the last!  This was Ty’s first miniature golf outing and Fefe was busy demonstrating the proper golf swing technique used by all of the greats.  After the demo, she moved to the side and prepared to watch Ty make history!  Well he almost made her history as he proceed to swing his club as if he was in the US Open.  Ty completely missed the ball, the putter continued moving forward until it connected with Fefe’s right temple.  It was extremely frightening, it happened so fast that I didn’t know exactly what happened.  After ensuring that Fefe was still breathing and giving her a 20 question quiz, we headed home and she went to sleep.  Ty and I worked on a super special get well soon card for Fefe and shortly after I put the kids in bed and was all alone for Father’s Day.  Instead of my steak dinner, I had left overs.  Instead of sipping fine wine, I drank cheap vodka.  Instead of a massage, I let the dog walk on my back. Yeah, to end Father’s Day in a manner such as that is quite ugly indeed.  But I’m thankful that my wife is okay and wasn’t badly injured, plus you have to love Ty’s thoughtfulness of his card, so I guess the good prevailed!

Can you decipher the message? "GET WELL SOON MOMMY"

Welcome back to day two of Daddy’s Fish Bowl’s 2009 Holiday Gift Guide.  I hope you enjoyed the options presented yesterday for toddlers.  Today we’re shifting gears and taking a look at some options that your preschooler is sure to enjoy.  Shopping for this age group can become a tad more difficult as you attempt to balance fun toys and learning toys, our list contains a good amount of both, but as always, if you have suggestions that should be added or comments on any of the items listed, be sure to let it be known in the comments section.

First Act Discovery Designer Jr. Drum Set -Now you might be a little leery about this gift, as your ears may never forgive you.  But isn’t the holiday season all about “It’s better to give than receive?”  Making music is a favorite pasttime for every child, so let yours become as creative as possible with this drum set. You can pick this up at Toys R Us for about $80.

Deluxe Black Moon Shoes -Not quite ready to splurge on that trampoline that they’ve been asking for?  Well Moon Shoes are the perfect answer.  With all the bouncing and hopping around, fun and excitement are sure to be found, not to mention some good ol fashion exercise as well.

 
Leapster 2 Learning Game System -This is perfect for those long road trips, it’ll keep your little one busy for quite some time and will also provide valuable learning opportunities.  With the enormous selection of games available, you’ll be able to find something to supplement any area of your child’s learning curriculum. 

Gator Golf -Are you training the next Tiger Woods?  Well, this game is a good place to start.  Gator golf is a fun game that you’ll probably enjoy just as much as your child.  It sure beats going out for a round of miniature golf in the winter time.

Air Hogs Laser Micro Zero Gravity - This toy just looks awesome. I know my little guy loves remote control cars, so he’d really get a kick out of this one.  I mean come on, it can go on walls and ceilings, can you imagine the type of race track your child could dream up with those type of possibilities?

Smart Cycle Extreme- Exercise, Learning, and Fun all in one? Hey, I’m sold!  You can’t beat that right, one of the biggest knocks on video games is that kids become couch potatoes, well the smart cycle takes that logic and throws it out the window.  With games ranging from counting to reading, there’s something available for everyone.

Lego Walkie Talkies -There’s no better way to unleash a child’s creativity than going on a secret mission and keeping in contact when you become separated.  The possibilities are endless, spy’s, army officers, policemen, with a couple of walkie talkies in your hands, you and your child can become anything you want.

3-In-1 Smart Sports Plug ‘N Play Game -This is another one that’ll get the kids up and about.  It’s perfect for the winter months when going outside to enjoy their favorite sports isn’t the best option.  Instead they can stay inside, keep warm and swing away in a variety of sports.  With the simple plug n play setup, this ones sure to be a winner.

GeoTrax Transportation System -Trains, Trains, Trains, little boys love trains.  However at this age, they may not be ready for the more complex, expensive models.  GeoTrax has the answer, this system is sturdy and extremely customizable, so they’ll have lots to do.  There are also several add ons that are sure to keep the fun going.

Super Friends Batcave - This batcave comes equipt with tiny action figures that are perfect for tiny hands.  It has several compartments and gadgets that will assist in creating some very memorable play sessions.

Let me start off by stating that I HATE THE DENTIST! There I said it! If you’re a dentist reading this blog, I’m sorry, but we could never be friends (don’t stop reading the blog though, lol). Dentists perform hate crimes against humanity and I refuse to subject myself willingly to their torture. I took the stance that I would never subject my kids to the demented hands of a dentist either; luckily I have a level headed wife who vetoed my ruling. Yesterday was Tre’s first visit to the dentist and it appears that he’ll be following in his Daddy’s footsteps. He wasn’t too pleased, and surely let it be known during his visit.

Ty has been to the dentist several times already and much to my dismay, he loves it! I can’t believe my son is crossing enemy lines and consorting with such vile characters. But maybe it’s a good thing; war isn’t for everyone ya know. Tre on the other hand immediately threw up his defenses when he got to the dentist office. Even though they attempt to lure kids in and trick them with their numerous toys, games, and rides (yes, rides at the dentists office) Tre wasn’t having it. When the receptionist lady asked him if he was excited about seeing the dentist he shouted out NO! and ran towards the door (that’s my boy). Now, I don’t think he really understood her question, but it was damn funny that the timing of that NO was so perfect.

He eventually calmed down and took the bait. The toys reeled him in and caused him to lower his defenses (rookie mistake). He was so involved in playing that he didn’t even notice when they called Ty back into the torture room, oops I mean patient room. After a few minutes, Tre looked up and noticed that Ty was missing. I told you guys that he had a funny feeling about being at this place, so he must have thought that they kidnapped Ty and were doing horrible things to him. After realizing that Ty was gone, Tre proceeded to run around the waiting room screaming out TYYYYYYYY at the top of his lungs, looking underneath chairs and trying to open doors to find his brother. Now that’s loyalty right there, leave no man behind.

We decided that maybe it would be a good idea to take Tre back there with Ty so that he’d calm down and maybe seeing what they were doing to Ty would ease his fears of having the dentist work on him. We were wrong! When Tre saw Ty on the table and the dentist over him, doing something in his mouth which was making weird noises, he started crying and repeatedly saying “Ty, they hurting me.” He was trying to say are they hurting you, but hasn’t totally learned his pronouns yet. Ty gave him a thumbs up to let Tre know that he was okay, and things seemed calm for a while. That is until it was Tre’s turn to get examined. All they did was look at his teeth and brush them with a NORMAL toothbrush. But the way he was kicking and screaming, you’d have thought he was having a root canal, and wisdom teeth removed with no Novocain. In the end, they won him over with a stuffed turtle and he was fine, but I think he still has his suspicions about the true intentions of a dentist.

As you can see from Tre’s experience, the dentist office probably won’t be his favorite place to visit, but being afraid of the dentist isn’t always a bad thing. Because of my hatred for that profession, I do everything in my power to ensure I don’t have to visit them and throughout my life have only had 1 cavity. Hopefully Tre & Ty will also let fear be their guide to good tooth brushing and flossing techniques as well.

If you missed yesterday’s Tre’s Thursday Toy Review, be sure to head over and check it out.

When it comes to parenting, working Dads get screwed, as do working Moms.  Now that I think about it, Stay At Home Parents can possibly be getting screwed too.  So I guess I should have named this post “Everyone Gets Screwed”, but then it would have sounded like a porno entry and that’s not exactly the first thought you want in your head when coming to a Daddy Blog.  Therefore, since I’m a working Dad, we’ll just keep it at how us working Dads get screwed out of quality time with our kids.

One day last week while going through my normal routine to leave for work, something strange happened.  Usually, Fefe and the kids are still sleep when I head out the door, but every now and then the boys will wake up super early and they’ll already be downstairs before I leave out.  This was one of those times, I like these times, because at least I get to catch a glimpse of the people who matter most to me before heading out for over half of the day.  Well on this day, as I’m saying my goodbyes, (here comes the strange part) I tell Tre that I have to go to work and I’ll see him later.  As he hears my words, his little bottom lip starts to tremble and he says “Dada, you bye-bye?” I respond telling him that I have to go to work because that’s what Daddy does and before I could finish my sentence he just burst into tears.  It was both heartwarming and saddening at the same time.  Knowing that my little guy loves me enough to cry at the thought of me leaving for the day made me feel like the most important person in the world. It also made me sad and a bit angry!  Why do I have to leave my wife and kids everyday, why don’t I get to spend more time with them?  I know why, but those little tears on that innocent face made me question it all.

Then it got me thinking, I know that he doesn’t understand the concept of work, so what does he think when I leave every morning, or when he wakes up and I’m not there?  Does my son feel that Daddy abandons him everyday and Mommy is the hero that stays by his side to rescue him?  I honestly don’t believe that is the case, because I see hurt in his eyes when I leave, but so much joy when I walk through the door to return.  You wouldn’t be so happy to see someone who abandons you everyday would you?  Maybe he just thinks that’s the way the world works and there’s nothing he can do about it; so he just accepts it and waits for me to come back.  Even still, it’s not fair to him, beacause by the time I get home, I only get a few hours with the boys before they head to bed.  Those hours aren’t the highest quality hours either; because by that time, they’ve both had pretty full days and although their energy levels remain high, they’re struggling to keep it together.  Tre gets cranky when he’s tired, Ty gets beyond silly.  Since tired little boys are hardheaded,  a fraction of the time is spent disciplining them in between and during the little bit of play time we get. 

All in all, we still have a great time during the few hours that we have together.  I get the privilege of participating in wrestling, and playing chase, and all those other high energy activities to make sure they’re good and tired before bed, but it never occurs to anyone that I’m already good and tired after a long day.  Some days I’d rather spend time teaching them numbers and letters, but during the hours we have together their little attention spans are so shot, that we hardly ever make much progress. 

So is this the function of a working Dad?  Get a possible glimpse of your children in the morning before work, leave for the majority of the day, return home tired but still ready to enjoy the few hours with you kids before bed, but be restricted to physical roughhousing because the prime time for learning has already passed?

When I was single, I thought I knew the meaning of the phrase “Living for the weekend”, but now as a parent, it means so much more!  It means I get to spend those quality hours with my kids; I get to make up for the 40-50 hours that I lost with them during the week.  This past Saturday, Ty definitely put the phrase into perspective for me.  When I woke up and went to his room, he saw that I wasn’t dressed for work and asked if I was off today.  Once I told him yes, his eyes lit up and his mouth started moving a mile a minute; just shooting off all the many activities that he wanted to do with me today since I didn’t have to go to work.  So we hurried up and got started.  You see, for most people, the weekend is a time to relax and recuperate from the stresses of work, but for me the weekend is the boys’ time to recuperate from the stress of me being at work.