Below is a snippet from the book that details some of the many jewels of financial knowledge that Tre has acquired during his 4 year tenure here in the world:

For his birthday, Tre received a brand new shiny Mickey Mouse piggy bank. He quickly went around the house looking for any change that he could find so that he could load his bank up. When asked why he was performing the current activity, he simply responded: “because Mickey is empty so I need to fill him up”. Look at that logic folks, it’s simple economics really; when your bank account is empty, you need to fill it up. This kid is a genius! In addition to scowering the house for loose change, Tre took initiative and religiously began helping Fefe move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. This task was routine, mundane, and offered little prestige if any at all, but Tre enjoyed doing it, and he did it well. For that, I was forced to put him on the payroll and offer him up a salary. Again, another nugget of gold from the 4yr financial guru. Find something that you love to do, do it well, and it will pay dividends.

Recently, Tre offered up his most logical and insightful words of wisdom in the financial department. After going on a huge shopping spree, and splurging by spending a nice chunk of his allowance ($3), the moment that defined this boy as a financial leader occurred. We took the boys out to Target and let them run wild, well as wild as Tre could run with $3. He purchased a Hot Wheels car, and said that he wanted to save the rest of his money for an orange. An orange, really? All the toys at your disposal and you decide to buy an orange? I was so impressed with his decision that I decided to pitch in a little extra and get him an extra item. Do you see what he just did there? If you invest in the unexpected, others will invest in you! Although that philosophy is exceptional, it’s not what got Tre inducted into the finance hall of fame. It was the rationale that Tre explained once we returned home that sealed the deal.

After his purchases, he had some change left over, two quarters to be exact. I told Tre that he should go ahead and put his change in his piggy bank. His responses forever changed the way I view money, savings, and spending. I’m confident that it will do the same for you as well. Tre exclaimed NOOOOOOO, I CAN’T PUT THE QUARTERS IN MY BANK! This threw me off a bit, so I asked for a little more information. Tre was quick to point out that quarters aren’t meant to go into his piggy bank since they go on top of his dresser because he needs them for the bubble gum machine. Hmmmm, let’s see exactly where this leads us shall we?

Me: “So Tre, if quarters can’t go into the piggy bank, then what does go in there?”

Tre: “nickels and pennies” (not sure what happened to dimes)

Me: “Well what are you saving your piggy bank money for?”

Tre: “To get dollars, so I can buy stuff to get quarters for the bubble gum machine”

GENIUS!!! So the key to financial stability is to save a little money until you can buy the things you want which allows you to use the left overs for the important things in life: bubble gum machines!

I know that you can’t wait to read more info from Tre, the great financial advisor, so be sure to place your orders for “More At Four – Financial Stability Made Simple” soon, copies are flying off the shelf!

The Small Things That Make Kids Happy

I looked out my window last night & the Christmas lights were still blaring bright, therefore, the extremely late holiday recap will continue. Today, I’ll give you guys a quick rundown of Tre’s birthday, but more importantly, discuss the difficulties and pitfalls associated with having a birthday that falls in between Christmas and New Year’s.
For some odd reason, this year, Tre was more excited about his birthday than he was about Christmas. I guess this year he truly understood that birthdays are special specifically for the birthday boy, while Christmas is shared by all.  And after stealing Ty’s shine on his birthday, why wouldn’t he be excited.  In the weeks leading up to his big day, we asked Tre what he wanted for his birthday

His response: “A CAKE”.

Ours: “Ummm, okay, what else do you want?”

His:  ”MY FRIENDS!”

Ours: “Duly noted, what about presents?

His: “BALLOONS!”

With his list of demands heard loud and clear, I chalked this us as a simple low cost birthday, no complaints here!

But then I got to thinking about it, perhaps Tre was asking for these types of things because he’s never had a real all out birthday bash type of party. Let me let you guys in on a little secret, having a birthday in between Christmas & New Year’s SUCKS! Each year we attempt to plan a nice party for Tre at a cool venue, but it inevitably falls thru.  People are just too busy with all the holiday hoopla to throw a birthday celebration into the mix as well.  So Tre ends up with a few friends over to the house and a small celebration.  We make sure that even though he’s being cheated on the festivities end, that his birthday is no less important than anyone else’s. He is always showered with tons of gifts, love, and attention from the moment he wakes up until the minute he goes to bed. But his requests had me wondering if that was enough, would he still feel special on his birthday without the big flashy party?

We were originally planning a Chuck E Cheese party, but as the number of available participants dwindled down to nearly zero, the plans changed to another year of celebrating at home.  The eagerness and anticipation he displayed in the days leading up to his birthday had me worried.  We only had two kids signed up to come over, yeah we had a cake, and yeah we had a TON of balloons, but would it be enough?  Would it be the party that his “almost” 4 year old heart desired?  After being awaken each and every morning and hearing “Daddy, now it’s only ‘X’ days until my birthday” for a week straight, my confidence in the answer being yes to the previous question shrunk exponentially.  The boy was clearly excited, I just hoped that we could provide him with whatever he had dreamed up in his little mind and had his hopes set on.

Well I was wrong, Tre loved his birthday! He would have been satisfied with just the few things he asked for.  When he woke up in the morning and came downstairs and saw balloons everywhere he light up like a light bulb.  He began jumping up and down, singing that it was his birthday and he got balloons!  The smile and excitement in his face was truly priceless.  I started to perk up, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.  When his friends arrived, he had so much spunk while welcoming them to his party that you would have thought he was a paid doorman.  Again, I perked up.  The kids played, not with the mountain of toys that were strategically placed throughout the house, but with the BALLOONS! Yes, the balloons that Tre so eagerly asked for was all that was needed to make his party a success.  Those three little boys played with those balloons for the entire duration of the party.  There were fights over the balloons, crying when a balloon was laid to rest (popped), and disagreements about how to play with the balloons.  I couldn’t believe it.

Yummm CAKE!!!

After playtime came cake time, we sung Happy Birthday, and Tre wasted no time blowing out his candles.  I’m almost positive that he didn’t make a wish, even if he claims otherwise.  He loved his Cars cake and now that he got everything that he asked for, his birthday was complete right?  Come on, who are we kidding?  As humble as this child was in his wish list for his birthday, there was no way that he was turning down gifts.  He eagerly opened his gifts, ripping the wrapping paper off with the skill of a well-seasoned vet; tossing clothes to the side, while examining toys with a curious eye. 

Too Much Cake Maybe?

Then he unwrapped his turtle, a turtle that oddly enough he had been asking for constantly, constantly until it came time to build a birthday wish list, strange I know.  He was ecstatic about the new turtle; unfortunately, the turtle didn’t share the same feeling, check the Twitvid below:

 Twitvid: “When being a pet owner goes wrong” http://www.twitvid.com/ALJ7R

After the party was over, we played and played and played.  We played so much that Tre didn’t want to leave the house.  He ended the night in typical Tre fashion: when it was time for bed, the tears began to flow and the dramatic super star that he is began to shine bright.  He threw his head into his hands and softly said “I can’t believe it”, confused, I asked “you can’t believe what buddy?”, he just responded again “I just can’t believe it Daddy, I just can’t”.  It took Fefe and her motherly ways to get him to open up and explain what exactly it was that he couldn’t believe.  It turns out that he couldn’t believe his birthday was over, he wanted it to last forever. Lol.

Well that let me know that he truly enjoyed his special day and it didn’t take a sweet 16 style party to make him happy.  I learned to listen to my kids and not to put my thoughts onto their requests from now on.  If the boy wants balloons, then dammit, I’ll give him balloons!

This friend was definitely a problem and I planned to make sure that Tre had no part of this lady’s perverted plan to befriend a 4 year old child.  I immediately told Tre to get away from her, that she has no business in our house.  The tears that almost immediately formed in his eyes let me know that this lady had a serious hold on him; he was completely enamored by her.  What type of magic was she working?  Whatever it was, it had Tre all wrapped up, he was googly eyed and trans-like as he pleaded with me to let his new friend, his best buddy as he called her, stay and play with him.  Obviously, her spell wasn’t restricted only to the littlest Keith, because for some odd reason, I agreed with Tre’s request and allowed this lady to play with my son.  It was against my better judgment, but between his tears and her persuasive nature, I felt powerless to stop it.

Tre was ecstatic, he played with the lady for hours, they were inseparable.  If you saw Tre, the lady was right by his side, it was quite concerning to say the least.  I felt powerless to the situation though, so all I could do is hope and pray that she got bored and left him alone.  I knew it would be devastating for Tre, but the relationship between him and this lady was unfit and quite frankly absurd, so I was willing to see his joy fade in order for justice to prevail.

Not long after, my prayers were answered, and I actually felt horrible.  The lady had left Tre, but not in the fashion that I had hoped.  As I looked over at the two of them, I noticed that the lady didn’t have as much spunk and pizzazz to her as when we were first introduced.  Upon closer investigation, I learned that the lady was dead.  Yes, the lady died right in our house, it was very eerie to say the least.  But for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to tell Tre; he was so young, so sheltered, he had never dealt with death before.  I couldn’t let this be his first experience, not like this, not with a lady that took the time to befriend him, a lady that listened to his every word, a lady that brought him so much excitement.  I just couldn’t break his little heart!

So like any respectable father, I did what needed to be done. I went to the basement window where 3 or 4 ladybugs had gathered on this rather warm winter day, picked one up and slyly replaced his expired lady friend with the new one.  Tre never knew how close he came to losing a loved one that day and I came to terms with the fact that some relationships, no matter how odd they may seem are beneficial.

If You Look Close, You Can See The Lady Friend

That night, Tre placed his lady friend in a cup near his bed and the next morning was shocked to find out that the lady had “left” in the middle of the night.  Luckily, he understood that she had other things to do and wasn’t too concerned.  Ah finally, the lady sage is behind us, I don’t have to watch my son carry a bug around our home any longer.

Or so I thought.  Yesterday, I just got a text from Fefe saying that Tre found the ladybug.  You know, the dead one, the one that in my haste to replace, I flicked on the carpet somewhere and couldn’t locate it for the life of me?  Yeah that one, well he swears that his friend has come back to play with him and she’s just sleep right now, smh, here we go again.

Name:Hot Wheels Criss Cross Crash Track Set

Manufacturer: Mattel

Price:  $39.99

Length of Ownership: 3 weeks

Rating: 4 stars

Toy Review: Okay, here we go again, another Hot Wheels review.  Well let’s face it people, when it comes to little boys, Hot Wheels is the epitome of toy greatness.  So yes, this is another Hot Wheels Toy Review, but gosh darn it, its a really good one.

Tre has loved all of his older brothers Hot Wheels race tracks, so recently we’ve been branching out and buying him some of his own, at 4 years old, we weren’t quite sure how well the new tracks would go over, but we were pleasantly surprised at how quickly he took the it and mastered the technique required to operate his new Criss Cross Crash Speed Track, which is one of the more complex tracks that Hot Wheels offers.

The basic premise of the toy is four separate loops that all come to a 4way intersection in the middle of the track.  This is a motorized track so the action is pretty much guaranteed to be nonstop.  I’ve dealt with my fair share of race car tracks in the past and the biggest complaint with motorized ones, is that the tracks wobble and its impossible to keep the cars going for more than a few sections.  I’m hear to tell you first hand that when it comes to the Criss Cross Speed track, that is definitely not the case.  Once the cars get going, the keep moving until a crash occurs, for the most part.  It is quite refreshing to have a toy that allows a 4 year old to operate it flawlessly while keeping a 7 year old entertained as well.

So now that we know you can actually get a car on the track and keep it there, I know you’re wondering about the crashes?  That’s where things get just a tad bit tricky.  The cars are moving at such high speeds on the track that it can be a little difficult to add subsequent cars to the race.  This was a huge concern for me when Tre first started playing with this toy.  However, after a few short play sessions, he has actually mastered the timing to add cars, and has successfully added up to 4 at a time in some instances.  This is an added bonus in my book because it further develops his fine motor skills and timing recognition.  Something I’m quite sure Mattel wasn’t aiming for, but kudos to them for the success.

Now for the bad, as you can see, this toy didn’t get a 5 star rating.  That’s because as much as Tre (and I) love this toy, I do have a few concerns.  As with most Hot Wheels tracks, this one doesn’t work well with all cars, some perform better than others, while some cars don’t perform at all.  They lack the structure and weight to handle the curves.  It’s not a big deal if you have a wide variety of cars to chose from, but for those who do not, I can see it being a problem.  In addition, the nature of the crashes sometimes cause the cars to fly off of the track at an alarming speed and for a curious pre-schooler who likes to get in close to monitor the action, I can foresee a potentially serious injury occurring.  Lastly, this thing is a beast on batteries, 4 D batteries are required and you’ll definitely know when they start to lose juice.  We’re on our second set in 3 weeks, but hey, Tre loves this thing and plays with it constantly, so maybe it’s the user and not the product in this case.

The Verdict: This toy is Tre tested and Daddy approved.  But it now!!!

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

Well maybe sometimes it is.  But seeing as how my neighbors still have their Christmas lights on, I figured what the hell; let’s do the annual end of the year holiday recap right now, today.  Who cares that we’re a complete two weeks into the new year anyway?  These stories are timeless right? Better late than never right?  It’s better to finish the race last, than to not finish at all…right?  Okay, so have I completely talked myself out of being a lazy bum and slacking on the holiday post?  Yes you say, well great, let’s proceed with the recap of Christmas, Tre’s Bday, and New Year’s.

Christmas 2011

This year our Christmas was a little bit different than it has been in past years, this year, for the first time ever, Ty was not with us.  Let me be the first to tell you, it sucked!  It sucked for us, and I know it sucked for him, but as part of the ruling (read about that foolishness here), Ty was forced to spend Christmas week in NC.  We did have a few extra attendees for our Christmas day festivities, but neither my Mom nor the cameo appearance from Uncle Carl could make up for Ty’s absence.

We got the festivities started early this year in preparation for Ty’s departure.  We started a new tradition of cutting down our own Christmas Tree, (if you haven’t read about that, go do it now, it made the top 11 of ’11), made our annual ginger bread houses (this year featured a tree), and sang Christmas carols (with the help and assistance of the I Am T-Pain app).  So as you can see, each of our traditions had a little bit of something new to them; it seemed fitting since our biggest tradition of being a family on Christmas was forcefully being broken.

Open Up Wide Kiddo

Gingerbread Tree

Another twist to our Christmas traditions was the Christmas Eve wrapping marathon that Fefe embarks on every year.  Each year she is up until 1-2am wrapping gifts, which means I’m up until 2-3am organizing them under the tree.  This year, I implored her to start wrapping earlier in the week, she resisted and on Christmas Eve she was faced with a mountain of gifts, a mountain of paper, and only a small amount of time.  But this year was different, she called in for backup.  There was a 4 woman sweat shop going, and man where those woman efficient (or so I thought).  In addition to having help this year, Fefe (and crew) also helped herself to a few glasses of wine as well.  This seemed innocent at the time, but as we later found out, the drinking and wrapping tradition will not be making a repeat performance next year.

The Stage Is All Set

Christmas morning arrived and I couldn’t wait until Tre woke up so we could open gifts.  As some of you already know, when it comes to Christmas I’m a big kid.  I’m seriously considering seeking help for this condition.  By all logic, I should have grown out of it by now, but for the past 15 years, I have been unable to sleep for more than 3 consecutive hours on Christmas Eve.  This year taking the cake, raking in a whopping total of ZERO hours of sleep.  I felt like a crackhead, gifts being my poison.  By 5am, I was sneaking into Tre’s room, flicking his lights on and off, hoping to wake him up.  By 7, after watching A Christmas Story nearly 3 times back to back, I resorted to more drastic measures: let the dog out and throw his ball in Tre’s room.  It worked, a few minutes later Tre came stumbling into our room and “woke” me up.

The poor child was clearly still in a stupifiedsleepy state, I mean seriously, the boy woke me up and exclaimed that his socks came off.  You would have thought that our house was robbed and all of the gifts were gone by the way he sounded.  I couldn’t believe it, it’s Christmas morning and all Tre is concerned about was his stupid socks?  I’m gonna be honest, being a Christmas fanatic and all, it kinda pissed me off.  After waking Fefe up and wiping the crust out of her eyes, we all headed downstairs and the look on Tre’s face was priceless, I mean, you hear people talk about the money shot, this was definitely it!  He was super excited and couldn’t wait to tear into his gifts, but first we had to go wake up Nani and attempt to wake up Uncle Carl.  Once the gang was all together (with this exception of Uncle Carl) Tre went to work.

The Money Shot - Total Disbelief

The first gift he grabbed belonged to Ty, as did the second, and third.  Fortunately, we were quick enough to avoid any re-wrap situations and explained to Tre the importance of actually looking at the name on the present.  Things went a lot smoother after that conversation.  For some odd reason, Tre kept making reference to the sun and finishing this work (opening presents) before the sun came out.  I have no clue where this came from, or why it was so important to him to have all of his gifts opened before the sun came out.  It was extremely funny until he was unable to complete his goal, and was heartbroken. He was seriously upset, once the sun was up, he had a semi meltdown and gift opening had to be put on hold for a few minutes.  This was strange, but no stranger than his bow fetish from last Christmas.  Luckily, we were able to get back to our regularly scheduled program and enjoy an entire day of playing, and playing, and playing.

Tank Sporting His New Christmas Gifts

Check back tomorrow for the Bday update!  I’ll keep posting holiday themed posts for as long as my neighbors Christmas lights are up, because remember, it’s never too late.

#11 When The Wind Blows

When the wind blows, we move with it

Have you heard the news??? If you follow my Twitter or Facebook, then no doubt, you probably have.  If not, then start following, so that you aren’t the last to the party next time.  Okay, time to fill you in: We’re moving!!!!!!  No, not the Daddy’s Fish Bowl site, but our actual residence.  Our family is packing up and high tailing it from the great state of North Carolina all the way across the country to the Twin Cities in Minnesota.  Well I guess that isn’t all away across the country (I was never good in geography), but hey you get the point.

#10 One Man, One Saw, One Tree 

December is here and boy did it come around quick this year. As most of you may know, December is my month of the year; although, that may change now that I’m back in a cold climate area. But Christmas is in December and it’s my favorite holiday, there for December wins “Month Of The Year Award” time and time again. We usually kick off our holiday rituals by going to pick out our Christmas tree together, this year we were able to do something a little different. Instead of going to just pick out our tree, we actually picked it out and cut it down ourselves. What an adventure that was; luckily we all survived and no one injured any vital organs and came back with all limbs intact.

#9 The Boy In The Plastic Bubble 

Never A Good Sign

Last weekend I’m sure many of you saw my frantic tweets about Tre being rushed to the hospital by ambulance and being admitted into the ICU. You would think that seeing your child whisked away strapped to a gurney in an ambulance would be enough to frighten any parent, surprisingly however, I wasn’t shaken at all by the situation. If anything, I was a bit angry because I felt that the doctors and nurses were going extremely overboard. Well it turns out that Tre is quite a bit more fragile than I had ever anticipated and although he made it thru his hospital “bid” and got paroled early for good behavior, he clearly wasn’t put of the woods yet. Apparently the hospital stint was only the first hurdle for us to overcome in a long race against allergies and asthma.

#8 The Cheating Husband

Til Death Do Us Part...Maybe Not

Have you ever been accused of something that you know deep down in your heart, you didn’t do?  Have you tried to explain your side of the story, offering explanations, justifications, and just down right sound logic to no avail?  Only to have your accuser look at you with a condemning look that can make the most innocent man feel guilty.  If you have experienced these things, then you know exactly what I went through last night.  It was a horrible experience; it is over now, although the look on her face was one of distrust after our dialog was finished.  I don’t know where we stand after this, but one thing is for sure: I love my wife and would never break our sacred vows by cheating on her.

#7 The Sexist Toddler: Male Elitism At A Young Age

Boy Dog, Girl Dog, Who Cares Right?

I’m just going to be blunt here; Tre is a toddler sexist. I have to call it how I see it, even if that means bashing my own flesh n blood. The sad part is, I blame myself. Well not really, but whenever something goes wrong with a child, everybody rushes to blame the parents, so I figured I’d beat you guys to it. Apparently he’s been this way his entire life and I’m just now realizing it. Maybe deep down I’ve always known the truth, but did my best to suppress it in hopes that it would go away. However, lately, it has become undeniable; his blatant sexism and total disregard for the opposite sex is now too much to ignore. You may be wondering how is it possible that a toddler, a child so pure, so innocent could be labeled something as harsh as a sexist. Well it’s really pretty simple; he feels that the male persuasion is superior in every way, shape, and form (his words, not mine). How do I know this you say? I know this because Tre refuses to utilize feminine pronouns to address individuals belonging to the female gender. To Tre, everything is he, his, or him, regardless of the sex of the person he’s referring to. I don’t know about you, but to me that seems pretty sexist.

#6 Planes, Trains, & Automobiles 

All Packed & Ready To Go

Fefe & Tre come back to Minneapolis tonight, FOR GOOD this time and I thought it was only fitting to share with you the story of Tre’s first plane ride, train ride, and (Minnesota)car ride; which took place a little over a month ago when we made the trip to Minneapolis for the first time (and what we thought was the last time).  It was actually his second plane ride, but seeing as how he was only a few months old for the first one, I think this trip qualifies as his (un)official first trip on an airplane.

As with everything that Tre is involved in, associated with, or a part of, his plane ride was full of spectacle, laughter, drama, and pretty much plain ole pure entertainment.  So sit back, kick your feet up and get prepared to enjoy the Tre Variety Hour (or 15 mins in this case).

#5 Hoarders: The Toddler Edition

A Hoarder & His Stuff (Can You Find Him?)

For most people, breaking up is hard to do.  Whether it’s breaking up with a lover, a close friend, or a trusted colleague, it is never an easy task.  But what about breaking up with personal belongings?  Is that just as difficult as breaking up with a person?  If you ask Tre, his answer will most certainly be YES!  This past weekend, in preparation for our big move, we attacked out attic, as evidenced in the above photo.  During this 2-3 hour marathon cleaning session, we found old toys, old clothes, old pictures, pretty much just all things old!  But for one member of our family, old meant new and this daunting task turned out to be a 1940’s gold rush for him

#4 You Win Some, You Lose Some

Win, Lose, Or Draw?

From the look of the picture above, I guess it’s pretty safe to say that Ty lost this one. I really wish that I could tell you guys that this was an epic battle for the ages, complete with a training montage, Rocky Balboa style; but alas, I can’t. This thing was over before it even got started, I’m talking split second, one hitter quitter, wam bam thank you Ma’am. Looking at that picture, all I can think is, why my boy? What could I have done differently to protect him? The answer to those questions is staring me right in the face; I should have stopped this along time ago.

#3 Imitation Of Life 

Notice Anything Different?

Typically, I open these posts by beating around the bush, starting out with rudimentary questions and examples, ending on a cliffhanger and letting the situation unfold as the post goes on. Well I’m not going to do that today, I’m just gonna get straight to the point. That point is: Tre got his ear pierced this weekend. Yeah it looks cute, yeah he really loves it, and yeah he took the procedure like a champ. But none of that really matters. The only thing that matters in this story is the ‘why’ he got his ear pierced. The reason why he got it pierced can strictly be attributed to the imitation of life.

#2 Stay At Home Mom vs. The Working Dad

and the WINNER is....

Okay DFB family, time for a serious topic here at the bowl. As I write this, I have my vodka & cranberry sitting next to the computer; attempting to recover from the events that just took place in my household. Timeout, I know you may be thinking how dare he bring up a serious topic while under the influence? My response: some of the greatest ideas known to man were created while in a bar & written on a cocktail napkin! I’ve even included a reference. (editor’s note: the events actually took place 2 nights ago.  I guess there was more vodka than cranberry in that drink and I didn’t get a chance to finish the post).

And now for the NUMBER 1 post of 2011….

#1 As Evil As They Come

Apparently, Evilness & Fashion Sense Don't Go Hand In Hand

Have you ever met someone who was just down right mean? When I say mean, I’m talking about borderline evil! I have met such a person, I have looked them in their eyes and lowered my head in shame due to their behavior. It isn’t easy to stare down the face of evil and walk away unscathed, but somebody has to do it, someone has to stand up for the little people, and yesterday, that someone was Ty.

Honorable Mentions:

Coming Home With A Bang

The Naughty List (Part 2)

If you missed part one of this troubled tale, head on over and read it so you’ll have some context for the funny part 2 of this post!

As if the shame of enacting the Santa ClausE wasn’t weighing heavily enough on my conscious, Tre decided to jump in and be my assistant authority figure.  My assistant seemed to take much more pleasure in the naughty list punishment than I did however.  Typically, I don’t let the kids get involved in repercussions of each others disciplinary actions, but when Tre decided to ensure that Ty knew exactly what was looming over his head, I let it go.

Immediately after I finished writing my letter to Santa, Tre seemed as devastated as Ty.  This was the first that he had heard of a naughty list and the implications of having your name placed on it.  He had tons of questions:  Daddy, why is Ty on the naughty list, are you really going to mail that letter, Ty not gonna get NO presents, not NONE?  With each question, Ty’s sobbing multiplied on an exponential basis.  It was as if Tre was asking the exact questions that Ty wanted answers too and my responses weren’t exactly what he was looking for.  Tre seemed to genuinely be sad that he would have to carry the burden of opening Christmas gifts on his own.

The next morning, his sadness was quickly replaced with satire.  It was as if during his sleep, he got Inception’d.  I literally think Leonardo Dicaprio came to him and placed the idea in his head that no gifts for Ty meant more gifts for him.  Because the next morning, Tre was on the warpath, I mean truly ruthless.  As soon as Ty woke up, Tre asked him if he was on the naughty list, utilizing a tone and demeanor that could only be described as sinister.  Ty elected to ignore the question.  Tre, determined to get answers, especially since Leo had corrupted his pure young soul,  asked me the same question.  The conversation went something like this:

Tre: “Daddy, is Ty on the naughty list?”

Me: “Yes, Ty is on the naughty list”

Tre (turns to Ty): “Ty, you are on the naughty list and now you not gonna get no presents”.  By the conviction in his delivery, you would have thought that he was providing brand new information to Ty.

Ty (annoyed): “Okay Tre, I get it”

I think that Tre took this as a personal insult, how dare his question annoy Ty?  Especially with his current designation as a naughty list kid, who did he think he was?  So to get even, Tre decided to take it upon himself to try and get all of Ty’s gifts revoked, not just those coming from Santa.  Another conversation ensued:

Tre (in a quite eager voice): “Daddy, but Ty already got a present under the tree, he on the naughty list, so he don’t get NO presents right?”

***sidenote*** As if this statement wasn’t bad enough on its own, to make matters worse, the present under the tree that Tre was referring to is the one that HE bought for Ty.

Me: “Ty can have that present because it didn’t come from Santa”.

Tre: “Ty, you get one present for Christmas, just one, not a bunch of presents.  Only me, Mommy, and Daddy, and Tank would get lots of presents.

SMH, really Tre?  The dog?  You had to go as far as throwing the dog into the present mix as well?  Does his evil know no bounds? This had gone far enough, if the boy dug the dagger in any deeper, he’d be cutting thru the couch that Ty was sitting on.

I could tell that Ty was getting extremely upset by Tre’s innocent (but hurtful) banter.  To be honest, I didn’t feel that bad for Ty, I was actually happy that someone was reminding him of his misdeeds and subsequent consequence of those deeds other than myself or Fefe.  Maybe the ridicule that his little brother was providing would be the icing on the cake that allowed him to realize the error in his ways.

In Tre’s defense, he did take it upon himself to notify me that Ty had been good in school as soon as I came home from work.  He even campaigned for me to take the letter out of the mailbox so Santa won’t get it.  He was fighting for Ty’s freedom as if Ty offered up half of his allowance as incentive.  I was happy to hear that Ty had a successful day in school (even if it came from his campaign manager and not him), and I look forward to hearing about many more.

I don’t know if it was the threat of losing Christmas alone, or the fact that Tre added a little something on top, but Ty truly seems focused on turning his behavior around (even if it is only for the next 2 weeks).

December is here and boy did it come around quick this year. As most of you may know, December is my month of the year; although, that may change now that I’m back in a cold climate area. But Christmas is in December and it’s my favorite holiday, there for December wins “Month Of The Year Award” time and time again. We usually kick off our holiday rituals by going to pick out our Christmas tree together, this year we were able to do something a little different. Instead of going to just pick out our tree, we actually picked it out and cut it down ourselves. What an adventure that was; luckily we all survived and no one injured any vital organs and came back with all limbs intact.

I’ve had a real Christmas tree every year since I was a young child, and it’s something that I want to continue with my family. Since we’ve always had a real tree, naturally, I always that it would be cool for my Dad and I to cut it down together. Unfortunately, that never happened. I grew older and tucked that little dream nugget away safely in my memory banks. This year however, the memory somehow battled its way through the confines of my mind and escaped. This year I had an idea, and that idea was to cut down a tree with my boys. A plan was set in motion and it was implemented this past weekend.

Since I’ve wanted to do this ever since I was a kid, you can only imagine the ideas and visions floating around my head about how it would be, the fun we would have, and how rewarding the process would feel. Well, let me clue you in on a few things: this CHORE was nothing like I had expected it to be, fun is probably the adverb that most closely describes exactly what we did not have, and instead of feeling rewarded, I felt cheated.

I must have sensationalized the hell out of what goes in to cutting down a Christmas tree and I think the boys practiced the same exact exercise. I imagined heading deep into the woods, axe in hand, and scouting for the perfect tree. After locating our prize, a few swift swings of the axe and I’d be yelling TIMBER, kids would be jumping with joy and we’d be on our merry way, singing Christmas carols all the way home. I’m assuming you already know that this hallmark moment didn’t happen for our family.

By the time we got to the tree farm, it was already getting dark; that meant we had to work fast. There was no time to be nitpicky about a tree, we had just drove 45 mins and were not coming home empty handed. Once we found a tree that was semi suitable, it was time to start cutting. Remember that axe I had in my depiction of how this event would go? Well, yeah, in the real world, it didn’t exist! Instead I had a puny, but effective bow saw. Not quite as cool as swinging an axe right? Oh well, it’ll still do the job, so now it’s time to cut, only problem is I can’t even find the trunk of the tree. How am I supposed to cut a tree down if I can’t even find the freaking trunk? There were branches all around the bottom of the tree and the fact that it was dark now wasn’t helping either. So I had to lay down on my back while Ty pulled branches back and Fefe used her cell phone to give me some light. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, it was a whopping 10 degrees outside that night, so laying on the frozen ground was oh so much fun!

After what seemed like an eternity of cutting, I got tired. I was cold, the kids were cold, Tre had snot running down his nose. I had had enough; it was time to kick this thing into overdrive! I stood up, got a running start and Bobby Boucher’d the tree while yelling TIMBER! The kids got a kick out of it, I saved myself another 5-10 mins of sawing and we were steps closer to getting warm again; all was right in the world again. That is until we came to the realization that yes we found a tree, yes we had success (somewhat) in cutting it down, but how in the hell are we supposed to get it back to the main office so that we could tie it down? That’s when it hit me; we forgot to grab rope before heading into the woods. So what do we do now? Well the most logical thing of course: we threw the tree on top of the car, Fefe drove while I stood on the side of the car hanging in between the body and the door all while holding onto the tree. I gotta tell ya, this was no easy task, we were deep in the woods driving down bumpy dirt roads, and there were more than a few close calls. Luckily we made it back without me falling off the car and killing myself. When we arrived, the lumberjacks simply smiled and said: “well that’s the first time we’ve seen something like that”

Smart Cycle Racer – We purchased this toy for Ty a few years back and he got a lot of good use out of it.  This item is both educational and physically stimulating.  Your preschooler has the opportunity to learn a wide variety of subjects while getting some well deserved exercise at the same time.  And they have the nerve to say that video games are bad for kids, not when the Smart Cycle is involved.

Kid Tough See Yourself Camera – This is another toy that Ty was once the proud recipient of, only this time around Fisher Price has come back with quite a few improvements.  I already thought the original was a great idea; it gives children the chance to take real live pictures that can even be uploaded to your personal computer, all without the risk of ruining your $300 point and shoot camera.  This toy is build kid tough and with the intention of taking quite a beating.  It’s rough exterior will ensure that your little one will be taking pictures for quite some time to come.  The biggest improvement to this year’s model is the rotating camera option, now the little ones can take perfect pictures of themselves as well as you.

Chuggington Train Table – Having a cool train set just isn’t the same without providing a train table to go along with it.  Adding a train table helps bring the action right to your preschoolers level, which will only enhance playtime imagination.  In addition, the table adds a ton of extra scenery that will allow your child to really feel like their train set is coming to life.

Roary The Racing Car – A remote control car is usually a kid’s first experience with driving and being behind the wheel.  That being said, help your insurance premiums out and get them going early by learning good driving techniques while practicing with their remote control cars.  Roary is based off of the popular animated series and comes equipped with easy button navigation that even a preschooler can control as well as realistic racing sound effects that they will be sure to enjoy.

Leap Pad – Dads love gadgets, Moms love gadgets, so why would we expect anything different from our offspring?  Kids younger and younger are falling in love with gadgets and while you may be tempted to hand over your iPad to quiet your youngster down during a boring appointment, the thought of a cracked screen may be enough to make you resist. That’s why you should get them their own Leap Pad, modeled after the iPad with child learning in mind; it makes the perfect gift for a young geek child.  Instead of Angry Birds, let your child learn cool words (MC KEITH in the house).

Power Wheels Jeep Wrangler – If your preschooler is ready to put down the remote control and really get behind the wheel, this Power Wheels Jeep Wrangler will provide a little buffer between you and the keys to your actual car.  With room for 2 and enough horsepower to accommodate most daredevils, your kid will love exploring in their new vehicle.

Mickey’s Camping Adventure – Play time is all about imagination time right?  So this Mickey Camping Adventure is right up imagination’s alley.  Just think of all the creative play options that will come to life when your child opens this toy.  Mickey and Pluto can set out on numerous adventures as their camper opens up to reveal a campsite with various activities.

Memory Card Game – Now is the perfect time to tap into your little ones ever growing brain and get the juices flowing with a simple game of memory.  As these games come in a variety of character themes, I’m sure you’ll no doubt be able to find one that captures the attention of your preschooler. 

Play-Doh Fairytale Stories Collection – Let’s face it, as parents, we all hate Play-Doh.  It’s messy, kids get upset when colors mix together, and those things dry up pretty quick when dealing with little ones who don’t always close containers all the way.  So why is this on the list you ask?  It’s simple, kids love play-doh, they love taping into their inner Michelangelo. At least with this version, parents get a little bonus to go along with the heartache. This Play-Doh kit comes along with three fairytales that you can read along to your child as they sculpt the characters of the story.  Now playtime and story time can become one in the same.

Well, here we after, still standing after a brutal (brutal meaning mild) snowstorm (snowstorm meaning snowfall). We survived, we made it thru and embraced the snow as if it were a long lost family member that we’ve only seen photos and videos of. When I say we, I should say they, Fefe and the kids. I’m no stranger to the snow and cold, growing up in Buffalo and all, but these guys are born and raised North Carolinians, so making it through the first snow fall deserves a round of applause. Even though we made it through, it wasn’t without a few casualties; so we’ll learn from our mistakes and continue on next time with a higher resolve.

This is in fact the third time that we’ve expected snow this year, the previous two led to disappointment in the kids eyes and relief in Fefe and mine. Earlier in the week when we saw snow in the forecast, we let the boys know of the impending weather conditions and Ty promptly responded with: “well we’ll see about that, it’s probably just not gonna happen again”. I felt bad for him, this kid has been looking for snow since early September (which I hear isn’t too far off base for this part of the country) and it was mid November and he was still coming up empty handed. When Saturday finally got here, I think that I was probably looking out the window up at the sky just as much as Ty was, sad I know.

Midway through the day, the snow actually started falling and before any even hit the ground Ty was already asking if the pond in our backyard was frozen. Um, not yet buddy, it’s gonna be a while. By the time that there was a light dusting on the ground, both boys were asking if they could put on their snow pants and boots so they can go out and play: hold your horses cowboys, give it time young grasshopper. The snow was falling at a pretty steady pace, so within an hour it was time to let it rip.

In preparation for the snow festivities, I went out and purchased shovels and sleds and all that good stuff that we never ever dreamed of needing in North Carolina. So once it was time, I was all set to go; and go we did. We ran outside, picked up snow, threw it at each other, sled down hills, shoveled snow into huge piles and jumped in them. We were madmen who had just been set free. And then, just like that, we lost one; Tre was gone, down for the count. He said that it was cold out here and he was going back in the house. He lasted for 15 minutes. Ty was a trooper though, he bested Tre’s time by an additional 5 whole minutes. But boy oh boy did those 5 minutes cost him. By the time Ty went in the house, he was in tears because his hands where so cold. 20 minutes in the snow and the kid is crying? Yup, it’s going to be a long winter folks.

So far, you’ve heard about the boys first experience with Minnesota snow, but what about Fefe? Did she curl up in a ball and close her eyes hoping it would all be over when she opened them? Did she huddle in a corner with blankets, hot cocoa, and space heaters? It’s what you’d expect right? Well she did none of the above! To welcome her first winter, this crazy woman went out and embarked on a 60 minute horseback ride through the storm. We had scheduled this date a while back and I just knew for sure we were gonna be out of some cash as soon as I saw snow in the forecast. No way was she going to leave the house in this weather, let alone perform an activity in it. But she shocked me, Fefe said the show must go on, and go on it did. I was impressed, she didn’t complain, didn’t cry, and actually had a great time.

My First Time On A Horse. Fefe

In case you weren’t keeping score, we have: Tre with 15 minutes in the snow, Ty with 20 minutes in the snow (but points deducted for crying), and Fefe with 60 minutes in the snow. Last week, if you would have told me that Fefe would have been the one to spend the most time in the snow during our first storm, I would have called you a crazy person. But here we stand, snowstorm behind us, and the person that wanted the snow the least actually handled it the best. Ty and Tre, you guys could learn a lot from this woman!

Oh, as for that casualty that I spoke of earlier? Fefe did spend the entire next day sick in bed. I guess you can say she won the battle, but lost the war.