I need to start out by being up front on this one; I am by no means an expert on the following topic. Most of the time, I am a self-proclaimed expert on all things in all places, but when it comes to sibling interactions, I have to claim ignorance. Being the only child, you don’t get much experience with the day to day dealings of brothers and sisters. Cousins are the closest thing you have and if they piss you off, it’s not long before each of you are back in your separate homes and don’t have to see the other for a while. Apparently, that’s not the case with siblings, from what I’ve been told, there is no escape, there is no “un-brother” button ala Facebook. Once you have a sibling, you pretty much have them for life and this can become problematic, based on the stories I’ve heard and things I’ve witnessed.
Summer is over and the first week of school is in the books, so that can only mean one thing: I’m back to blogging! Now I know all of you have heard me spin this tale quite a few times in the recent past, like here, and here, and here, okay maybe “a few” is an understatement. But let’s be honest, you guys know that I’m like the hobo of the blog world, I float in and out, so maybe we shouldn’t focus on broken promises and lost truths; instead, we should turn our attention to the hear and now, and merely bask in the glory of another excellent blog post while we can.
Posted by Keith | Posted in Activities, Advice, Baby Guppy, Family, Tre, Ty | Posted on 18-06-2013
We’re baaaaaacccckkkkkk, transmitting live from, wait this is more of a transmission than a broadcast, and it’s more so pre-recorded than live, so um, let’s just say this post is coming all the way from Ireland. And now that we can clearly see that that’s a lie; I actually started writing this post in Ireland, but the jetlag took over and basically what you saw until the sentence previous to this one was about as far as I got. I know it’s been quite a while since I’ve put a post out and I feel horrible about that. Really I do, you should see my face, it’s the face of a horrible feeling person, never mind the fact that I’m hungover from frolicking with the Irish, the horrible feeling is totally dedicated to you guys. Well I guess I wrote that line in Ireland as well, and apparently, it was another lie. Lies, lies, lies, I’m starting to feel a bit Obama-ish. Ouch, I didn’t mean that, Obama, you my boy!!! So now that the lies and excuses are out of the way, let’s jump straight into this post shall we?
Posted by Keith | Posted in Family, Fefe, Grandparents, Play Stories, Tre, Ty | Posted on 25-04-2013
As I sit at my desk, typing up this blog post for your reading enjoyment, my fingers are crossed. Yes, you read that correctly, I am typing with the fingers of my right hand crossed. So don’t be alarmed if you come across a few typos, or entire words missing from a sentence, for that matter. Just know that it is a necessary evil that I must contend with if I want to provide you guys with these super intelligent and uber entertaining and informative blog posts. What could bring on such preposterous behavior? Why are you being forced to take such precautions? Should I have my fingers crossed as well? I know that these are the burning questions of desire on your mind at this very moment and I’m going to get straight to the point. YES, CROSS YOUR FINGERS, cross them now, go ahead. It is imperative for your future well-being. No, it won’t save you from some unforeseen impending natural disaster, and no, crossing your fingers won’t protect you from the next big pandemic that threatens to wipe humanity off the face of the Earth. But I’ll tell you what it will do; it’ll protect you from contracting the God awful CHEESE TOUCH!!!
When I was a kid people would ask me if I felt older on my birthday? I always responded with a resounding yes; during the teenage years you might have even gotten a HELL YEAH out of me. Obviously, it was a lie; I felt exactly the same, but was so happy to be a bit older that I had to express how great it felt. Today I’m 30 and if you ask me the same question the answer will undoubtedly be the same but for very different reasons. Now the answer is yes because that’s the freaking truth!
As parents, we all stretch the truth a tad bit from time to time when dealing with our children: magical storks delivering babies, a fat guy who never gets arrested for breaking and entering on Christmas Eve, if you tell the truth you won’t get in trouble, the dog (who is dead) ran away, the list goes on and on. Well, at least at our house it does. Most of these little white lies are well intentioned, and designed to produce better more productive members of society out of our kids. Ah, who am I kidding, these lies make our lives easier; could you imagine how difficult the month of December would be if your naughty list got revoked? But what happens when parents start lying to their kids just for the fun of it? I’ll tell you what happens, if backfires!!! Don’t do it folks, reserve your lies, resist the urge to utilize these precious little tools for entertainment purposes.
Up until the birth of Baby Guppy aka Gup, I was under the impression that my boys were monstrosities of evil based on their dealing with each other; wait, let me clarify, I thought that Tre was a monstrosity of evil. Ty was just an unfortunate bystander, forced to protect and defend himself (usually unsuccessfully) by matching evil with evil. The levels of scheming, deceitfulness, and downright mean behavior started climbing off the charts and I began to question if we needed to move to Philadelphia in hopes of getting any brotherly love in our home. Tre reached an all-time low a few mere weeks before Gup’s birth and I was terrified that the
torture treatment of his brother would be transferred to her once she arrived.
Baby Guppy is now in her 29th week of fetal development and sadly, I have to admit that sibling rivalry is already brewing. How can this be, the baby hasn’t even got here yet, but somehow fighting, bickering, and jealousy has started to take form? In my best Tre impression “WHAT THA!!!” Luckily for us, Tre hasn’t attempted to utilize his superb Ninja Turtle skills and karate chop Fefe’s belly yet, but I’m unsure of how many days we have left until it comes to that. To be fair, he isn’t totally to blame; Baby Guppy antagonizes him ALL THE TIME!!! She’s mischievous, resentful, stubborn, and downright mean (sound like anyone you know). If womb Baby Guppy is any indication of what earth Baby Guppy is going to be like, we are in for a world of trouble. Most people envision their unborn children as little angels, I foresee Baby Guppy as a little angel as well; one without the halo, wings, and heavenly glow.
Posted by Keith | Posted in Family, Grandparents, Play Stories, Tre | Posted on 06-12-2012
I blame myself; all of the responsibility for what has happened to my sweet little boy can be placed squarely on my shoulders. I laid down the tracks for what he has become, can you blame him for driving the train to a predetermined destination? It’s my fault and I will someday make it up to him. Addiction is nothing new in our society, but seeing it pop up at the tender age of 4 is somewhat unheard of; the fact that the 4 year olds’ parent is actually the one who pumped the child full of the vice is both disturbing and appalling. I am not proud of what I’ve done, but I’m attempting to make amends for the monstrosities that have besieged my child due to my thoughtless and selfish behavior. This is my apology, not only to Tre, but also to the other members of our family that have been affected by his recent transformation.
Well lookie here, lookie here, you good ole blogger friend, Keith stayed true to his word. I promised you guys a part 2 on Monday and by golly, here it is! Let’s just ignore the fact that Monday only has a few hours left in it, and focus on the fact that this post is up for your reading enjoyment, lol. Thanks to my incredibly horrible internet connection, the previous statement is no longer valid, smh. I swear I hate Century Link and their crappy service, so much so, that I just said screw it and paid the cancelation fee at this very moment! Really? 5 hours to upload 3 one min videos to YouTube? What is this, AOL dialup? Sorry, my rant is complete now, let’s move on.
So last time, I made our time at Disney World seem pretty dreary; but I promise you that it was literally one of the most magical experiences that any parent could hope for. The look on Tre’s face when he saw Mickey for the first time nearly brought a tear to my eye, and trust me that’s tough to do, I’m a super tough macho manly guy! Okay, Fefe’s sitting over my shoulder and demanded that I refrain from lying in my posts; I’m not that tough and maybe, that statement about “nearly bringing a tear to my eye” should have been “cried a river”. Seriously folks, I have never seen that child as happy and excited as he was during our time at Disney World, and for those of you that know Tre, that is a hell of a statement to make: the kid is constantly happy.