This Has Got To Stop

Last night I tweeted a tweet that went a little something like this: “Silly Bandz are ruining the world, yes the world! The children are the future and Silly Bandz are corrupting them, therefore the world is doomed!”  I meant every word of that statement and I stand by it.  The things I’ve seen in association with these simple rubber bands have been enough to make a sane man check himself into Bellevue and never come out.  You want to know why the Swine Flu pandemic never happened, well it’s because the Bandz pandemic took over first.  I’ve seen frightening things people, and in an effort to educate you on the fight against Silly Bandz, I will share those memories that I fought so hard to repress, putting myself through pain and anguish all for the greater good of mankind.

These things come in different shapes and colors, THAT’S IT. They don’t do anything special, don’t make cool sounds, nothing, just different shapes and colors.  You would think with all of the technology floating around, our children would demand more from their newest fad, but they don’t. Silly Bandz are simple and they love them. Kids don’t even go outside to play anymore; they go outside to trade these stupid things.  Apparently, trading is a skilled art form that takes precision and accuracy to complete so there isn’t time for outrageous activities such as hide & seek, or tag.  One day, Ty was outside “playing” with his friends for at least 2 hours.  I checked on them periodically and I witnessed no playing at all.  They were just sitting on the ground talking, shuffling these rubber bands around amongst each other. When Ty came in, I asked why him and his friends weren’t playing. His response: “Oh we were playing, see look, I made some good trades. Look at this pig I got and oooohhhh check out this, ummm <blank stare> ummm, well I don’t know what it is, but it’s cool huh”.  All I could do was shake my head and look to Tre as our only hope.  Ty was too far gone, he couldn’t be saved, could no longer be trusted, he’d steal from his momma to get his hands on more Silly Bandz, he had become infected. 

The Infection Is Spreading

But not Tre, he was still pure, seemingly immune to the effects of this horrid disease.  But as with any pandemic, the strong can only hold out for so long. A few days ago, Ty purchased a new pack of Silly Bandz and was gracious enough to share 2 with his little brother.  Well gracious is a bit of an overstatement, it should really be replaced with FORCED.  This kid honestly didn’t want to give up those 2 Silly Bandz and for the life of me I couldn’t understand why.  I mean, he had about 70 split up between his wrists and just got a new pack of 24, so what’s the harm in giving up two of them? Maybe he was trying to protect Tre, trying to ensure that he wouldn’t make the same mistakes and walk to dangerous path that Ty had travelled down. Whatever his reasoning, it didn’t work.  Just that small sample was enough to infect Tre.  When this disease hits, it hits hard and fast.  Within two days Tre and his 2 Silly Bandz were inseparable. 

Last night during bedtime, Tre kept whining about his Silly Bandz, saying that he lost them.  After the fourth trip upstairs to find his lost possessions (which were always located right next to him in the bed), I said enough was enough.  I told him I was going to put them on the dresser so that he wouldn’t lose them and that right there was the biggest mistake of my life.  This boy cried like I had never seen him cry before, constantly repeating “I need Silly Bandz” in a tear-filled shivering tone. It was nearly unbearable; I couldn’t stand to watch how this disease affected him. So I gave them back and realized that I had now lost 2 sons to this wretched infection.

Based on what I’ve witnessed over the past few months, with last night being the icing on the cake; I now know that something must be done about this issue. Someone must take a stand and save our youth.  I’m planning a march on Washington to propose that our government fund a “FIGHT THE BANDZ” campaign. It’s going to have a really cool acronym like D.A.R.E. did with their drug campaign and together we are going to fight this epidemic and take our children back! Are you with me people???

Breakfast Time With Tre

The past week or so has been very very interesting. We’ve somehow, inherited a third child. This new kid was thrust upon us and for the time being, we have no way of sending him back. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m all about helping out wayward children and all, but this is going a bit too far. To be fair, the new child isn’t high maintenance. I guess where he comes from, they’re not use to eating very often, so he barely ever bothers us for food. He also came with his own clothes. So really, the only basic need that we are providing to him is shelter. Even though it isn’t a huge burden playing surrogate to this little guy, it still isn’t fair to my wife and I. Call me evil, mean spirited, or what have you; but bottom line is, this kid needs to go.

Okay, now that you’ve all finished sending your hate mail, let me admit that the new kid actually isn’t a kid at all. He’s a stuffed animal, Mickey Mouse to be exact. But recently, Mickey has taken on the persona of a human child and has become Tre’s numero uno. They are inseparable, and while it may be cute and entertaining to outsiders, it is creating a mountain of extra work for Fefe & I. Most kids sleep with their stuffed animals at night and then when they wake up, they go their separate ways. Not Tre!!! Where he goes, Mickey goes, and most recently it has changed into what Tre does, Mickey does. You may be saying, “Come on Keith, how bad can it be?” Well let me tell ya, it’s bad!!!

Exhibit A: Yesterday, when it was time for Tre to eat breakfast, Mickey needed breakfast as well. I don’t know if you can tell from the picture above, but Mickey has 1 “red berry” (a grape) in front of him. Tre would eat some of his cereal, and then take a break to ensure Mickey “ate” his breakfast as well. This consisted of Tre taking the grape and putting it up to Mickey’s mouth while telling him to eat his food. Mickey would then proceed to “eat” the grape, which was demonstrated by the chewing noises that Tre made for him. Afterwards, Tre would then pop the grape into his mouth and tell Mickey he did a good job. Okay, not so bad you say? Similar to a tea party, huh? Sure, I’ll give you that; well let’s just continue on to exhibit B.

Exhibit B: Since Mickey is now eating food, naturally his body needs to remove the waste right? Yup, Mickey must also go to the bathroom now. Whenever Tre uses the bathroom, Mickey is right along with him. Tre goes first and pee pee’s in the potty, after he’s done, he holds Mickey up to the toilet and lets him do his business. But get this, they need separate flushes. I guess it would just be too unsanitary for Mickey to pee in the same water that Tre used. But it doesn’t stop there, no no no, there’s more. Mickey also gets to wear big boy underwear and at night requires a pull up. Tre seriously refused to put a pull up on at night while Mickey was still wearing big boy underwear. No way was the stuffed animal going to outshine him.

Exhibit C: They have fights, arguments, and fall outs. As I’m writing this post, I sent Fefe a text and asked her to take a pic of Tre & Mickey. Her response: “I’ll try, they’re mad at each other right now” WTF, what can they possibly be mad at each other about? It’s a stuffed animal, what can it do to piss you off? Yesterday we were in Target and they had a fight. All we heard was NO MICKEY, and then the bear went sailing clear across 2 aisles. They didn’t “speak” to each other for at least an hour after that

As you can see from the evidence presented above, Mickey is causing extra work for us. We feed Mickey, clothe him, and speak for him. It’s just too much to handle with two real rugrats to deal with. It’s sad to say, but in the end, I feel that I am to blame. Unfortunately my childhood is coming back to haunt my children. When I was young, I too had a “Mickey”, his true name is not allowed to be mentioned. I took him everywhere and did everything with him and quite honestly was a lot worse than Tre. My situation was bordered on dementia. I didn’t give up my “friend” until 7th grade if I’m not mistaken; he was badly tattered and worn. A tear is forming as I write this, but it was for the best to let him go. Hopefully we can break the cycle with Tre, stop it before it gets too bad. End it before he’s 20 something years old, bringing home his future wife to meet Fefe and she goes into the closet and shows an old raggedy Mickey Mouse bear.

YES, my mom actually did that. She showed my old buddy to Fefe the first time I brought her home, and the woman still married me. That’s love right there.

Best Buds Forever (hopefully not)

The Bilingual Baby

Tre is 21 months old and surprises me every day with something new that he’s learned.  The kid is like a sponge, just soaking up anything that comes his way and I couldn’t be happier.  For the past month or so, he has been working on mastering his ABC’s and numbers (up to 10) and he has them down pact, recently he learned his colors and can pick out any color block or crayon that you ask him to and tell you what that color is.  A few days ago when I came home, he read me a book.  This was a shocker, because for once I didn’t have to read the same book 20 million times in a row.  Instead he brought the book to me and said “readabook”, as I began reading he turned around, put his finger to his mouth and shhh’d me.  I was baffled so I just shut up & to my surprise, he took over.  Picking out a few words from each page and then saying the associated animal sound.  I was impressed to say the least, but his most recent educational endeavor is just down right scary.

The boy has taken it upon himself to learn Spanish.  Just let that sink in for a moment, I just said my 21 month old son has decided of his own free will to pick up a second language.  Neither Fefe, nor I speak Spanish nor does anyone else that Tre is immediately associated with, so this is quite shocking in my opinion.  The little guy doesn’t even know the English language well enough to form complete sentences and he’s already trying to learn another one?  There’s something strange with that picture, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

Tre has several toys from Fisher Price and Leap Frog that are bilingual. You simply hit a switch and everything switches from English to Spanish.  The songs, numbers, dialog, I mean everything switches to Spanish.  So for the past few weeks, periodically we would hear his toys speaking in Spanish and just assume that either him or Ty mistakenly moved the switch.  We’d put it back and carry on.  Then one day while Ty was gone, I noticed that every freakin bilingual toy in the house was speaking Spanish. So I go to change them back and Tre is following right behind me undoing the language change that I was making to his toys.  I started thinking what in the world is going on with this kid?

I sat back and thought long and hard about what could be causing this recent interest in a new language and was coming up blank until an “ah ha” moment came.  It hit me like a truck; he’s trying to impress a girl.  About a month ago, Fefe had told me that there was this little girl in his “ready to learn” class that spoke Spanish.  She said that Tre would always go over to the little girl and just stare at her, but would run away when she tried to play with him.  Isn’t that sweet, he didn’t want to play with her until he was able to effectively communicate; what a gentlemen this guy is.  I guess he figured, the only way to have fun with this chic was to speak her language, so he set out on a quest to do so.

I don’t know if that’s the true reason that he’s been so interested in Spanish, but you have to admit the timing is almost impeccable.  He meets a Spanish speaking girl and a few days later his toys are all speaking Spanish to him.  The sad part about it, is that he’s actually learning it.  The other day we caught him singing the last few words of one of the songs in Spanish.  I figured that he was just copying what he heard, but yesterday we were having a conversation on his play phone and before he hung up he said “adios”.  WHAT? This little boy just said goodbye to me in Spanish and actually used it correctly?  That was a mind blower, and I still can’t get over it.  One things for sure, if he’s gonna be learning Spanish, I’m going to pick up a Rosetta Stone edition asap.  I’m not gonna have him cursing me out in another language that I can’t understand!

Alien or Human?

This one is going to be pretty short, but after the last post, I needed to write a feel good story to brighten the mood of the site.  As you guys know, in order to obtain a feel good story, I have to look no further than my own kids.  Yesterday, Ty and I were playing and he noticed a blue dot on my foot and asked what it was.  I wasn’t exactly sure what it was, it looked like a spec of dirt or something that I picked up from the floor.  So I did the most logical thing, I made something up.  Now I could have been like any normal parent and just told him that it was some dirt or lent from the floor and kept it moving.  But where would the fun be in that right?  So instead, I fabricated a story about the origins of the blue dot, which led to a 30 minute battle of wits between Ty and myself.  Why am I matching wits with a 5 year old? Because it’s great bonding time and listening to his logic is hysterical.

Okay, so are you ready for my explanation of the blue dot mystery?  I told Ty that while I was napping (only 30 mins prior), aliens came and abducted me and they took me into space.  While in space they told me that I would have to become one of them and would never be allowed to leave.  I told Ty that I was really sad because I wouldn’t be able to see him anymore so I started fighting those aliens and got free so that  I could come back home.  But right before I jumped off their spaceship, they shot me in the foot with the “blue dot alien transformation juice” and told me that the dot would spread until I was completely an alien.  Some story huh? Don’t ask me where this stuff comes from, it just pops in my head and the boys seem interested so sometimes I get carried away and keep going, lol.

Well I don’t know if Ty bought the story, I mean it was pretty far fetched. Whether he believed it or not, he was intent on not having an alien father!  Now some of you may think that means he was planning to find a cure, or tell the aliens to turn me back to normal, or find any means whatsoever to stop the transformation, well you’re all wrong.  This kid tells me that if I turn into an alien he would fight me and then go to my job and tell my boss to fire me.  WHAT, ARE YOU SERIOUS? I just told you that I fought off a herd of aliens because I missed you and to pay me back you want to disown me?  Even go as far as getting me fired from my job if I turn into one of the aliens?  We’re gonna have to sit down and have a heart to heart about loyalty really soon. 

I tell him if I get fired from my job that I can’t pay the bills.  He tells me that Mommy can pay the bills and I explain that she doesn’t have a job, because she stays home and takes care of him and his little brother.  Now this is where I feel that the battle is over before it even started; I pull out my big guns and tell him that since Mommy won’t be able to pay the bills, you guys will have to go live in the woods with the bears.  I figured this would shut him down, end of story, let’s move on.  Nope, I was wrong, Ty responds with “you can get a job in space.”  The kid has an answer for everything, there’s no stopping him.  I tell him that if I get a job in space, they’ll pay me with alien money and the bill collectors won’t accept it.  His answer to this problem: “well, the bill collectors will just have to become aliens too, that way they can accept your alien money.

And there you have it folks, how one simple alien encounter has the possibility to change the world.  If bill collectors will have to become aliens just to accept my money, can you imagine how many other individuals will have to change to accommodate our family? lol

Hey, turned out not to be so short afterall huh. Hope you enjoyed it.

Happy Birthday Ty

Today our oldest boy turns 5 years old; well actually as far as he’s concerned, he’s been 5 for the past 3 days already.  Ty was having a tad bit of difficulty grasping the concept that the day we were celebrating his birthday, wasn’t his actual birthday.  After going through a few mental exercises to drive this point home to him, we finally conceded and decided that it’d be best to just let the kid think his birthday was on Saturday; the day of his party.  It worked out pretty well, until yesterday that is, when he went to his “Kindereadiness” class. 

The teacher made a point to make a big deal out of Ty’s birthday being today, she ensured that the entire class knew his birthday was coming up & had them sing Happy Birthday to him.  She kept saying tomorrow you’re going to be 5 years old Ty, and he kept saying “I’m already 5”.  This was a super awkward moment, and it occurred several times.  She asked him if he was going to do anything special for his birthday and he replied that his birthday has already past by and he had a special party.  I think this clued her in to his logic because I could have sworn that I saw a light bulb turn on above her head and just like that, the questions stopped.  The key point to take away here: next year if Ty hasn’t grasped the concept of a calendar yet, his birthday party will be held ON his actual birthday! No more confusing and embarrassing birthday moments for us.

On to the party, and oh what a party it was!  Not as many kids as we had hoped for, but Ty had a BALL and that’s all that mattered.  He was surrounded by people that loved and cared for him and loved being the center of attention ALL day long.  We started off by having everyone meet up at the house so that we could have cake and open presents.  Have you checked into the costs of having an actual party at one of these kid places?  The cost is astronomical, it’s utterly ridiculous!  So we decided to have the “party” at the house and then just take the kids, party hats and all, on to “Monkey Joe’s” to have fun and play.  I pat myself on the back for this brilliant idea because it worked out really well and the Ty had no clue that this wasn’t the actual way that a birthday party at “Monkey Joe’s” works.

Anyways, back to the party.  We sing Ty Happy Birthday and then begin to pass out cake.   Ty, whose eyes are bigger than his belly, requested that he get a piece that contained all of the balloons.  I told him that was a huge piece but he insisted.  I give him credit, because he definitely put a dent in that piece of cake, but the pressure of eating the cake while staring at a mountain of presents started to weigh in.  Once he decided enough was enough, he began to tear into his gifts, and with each present his face instantly lit up with joy.  After opening the gifts, he was a little disappointed to learn that playing with them would have to wait, because “Monkey Joe’s” was calling us.  His disappointment quickly faded once the thought of bouncing around like a jumping bean came to mind.  We spent about 3 hours letting the kids run around and tire themselves out.  Well that second part isn’t exactly true; Fefe & I were the ones tired out.  By the time we got home, Ty was bopping around and ready to play.

I won’t bore you with all the details of our play time experiences, and believe me there are TONS & TONS of play time stories to be shared!  But I do want to talk about two of the more comical events.  One of my friends told me that when I buy toys for the kids, I shop for myself first and them second, in a “hmmm. What would I like to play with” kind of way.  I think he may be correct.  I bought Ty a TYCO R/C Stunt Psycho Vehicle – Green
and I thought it was really cool.  I couldn’t wait for him to open it up and try it out.  The car is capable of doing flips, but whenever it flipped upside down Ty would run to it and turn it over.  So I’m like, Ty, let me see and I’ll show you how to flip it over.  I’m trying to figure it out and as soon as I got the thing standing up, ready to flip, the kid says “It’s my birthday, so you gotta let me play with it anyway I want.” The boy totally deflated me, I was so pumped playing with that car and the minute that I was about the grab the prize of a cool stunt, he burst the bubble, and I had no choice but to hand the controller over.  He was right, it was his birthday and as we had been telling him: today we had to play by his rules.  After the RC car fiasco, we moved on to the Nerf guns and had an all out war.  Ty of course had to get the cooler of the two guns (I was disappointed) and boy did he use it to light me up!  You gotta understand, this gun shoots up to 20 darts in rapid fire succession, it’s lethal.  During one round, he’s firing away and I’m ducking and dodging most of them until BAM, he lands a direct hit and the dart lands directly on my nose AND STICKS.  I’m not kidding, I wouldn’t make this up or stage the below photo.  The kid, at 5 years old had done something that I haven’t achieved in my entire life.  Getting a Nerf shot to the nose that sticks is like getting a hole in one on a par 6 course. But he did it and I had no choice but to submit and bow down to his Nerf greatness. 

Happy Birthday Buddy, Great Shot!

Hey there, welcome back. If you missed yesterdays post, which is part 1 to this story go check it out, here.

So yesterday I explained how it was brought to my attention that our oldest son had taken to a life of cheating. After witnessing this unbelievable travesty, swift action was needed to ensure that a life as a con artist was not the path that he’d be following.

So back to the game, once Ty turned over that ice cream cone card, I looked into his eyes and saw no remorse. I guess I was hoping to see some type of sign that he at least felt bad about trying to get over Mommy. But nope, it wasn’t there, there was nothing but happiness and glee at the fact of winning another game of “Candy Land”. I lock eyes with Fefe for a brief moment to signal that it was time to put the plan in motion. We had never formally come up with a plan, but we both knew what had to be done. That’s right, to beat the cheater, we had to become the cheaters; and we had to cheat better than Ty. There was only one cardinal rule to this plan and that rule was to not get caught.

Fefe takes her turn picking a card and then sees me creep towards the pile, so she immediately knows that I’m getting ready to stack the deck. Since we’re so in tune with teaching our kids a lesson, she takes extra long to move her person to the correct spot. Asking Ty for help & saying the wrong colors to throw him off of my trail. While these shenanigans are taking place, I’m looking thru the cards for the one that sends you all the way back to the beginning, the dreaded ginger bread man. I find it and give Fefe a little nod so that she can wrap it up & let Ty pick his next card. Now had we been normal parents, I probably would have just put the ginger bread man on top, let Ty go back to the beginning and watch the game play out on an equal playing field. But if you’ve been reading here for a while, you know that wasn’t the case.

Instead I pull this card out & let the game carry on as usual, remember Ty still had 5-8 spots until he would win the game. So right before he’s about to win, Fefe starts laying it down really heavy. Saying things like “Oh man Ty, you’re about to beat me, it really was lucky of you to get that ice cream cone” then I come in “yeah, Ty was lucky two times, you’re no match for his really good Candy Land skills” and just as he picks his card to solidify his win, something unexpected happens. He pulls the ginger bread man & has to basically start all over. This same scenario carried on a few more times, and after each time he got sent backwards, we’d say “wow, you gotta go back again? Maybe getting that ice cream cone wasn’t so lucky after all”. He looked so crushed, but we could tell that now he was starting to understand what he had done was wrong & was definitely regretting it.

Fefe eventually ends up winning the game & Ty was extremely upset. You see, he HATES to loose, I mean hate with a passion. So loosing in such a manner as this was really hard for him. So I believe that his disdain for loosing is what drove him to cheat; we make sure he doesn’t loose too often, but cheating would mean that he’d never loose again. After the game we explain to him the laws of cheating and that the reason he lost is because he tried to cheat. He was told that cheaters never win, and when you try to cheat you loose really bad, because the “game” knows who isn’t playing fair. The game gets really mad at cheaters and always sends them back to the beginning. Ah, the luxury of a young mind, so willing to believe the unbelievable. Since that day, Ty has either gotten really good at cheating or has given it up (for now). The next few times we played any game, he’d start off with “no cheating for me, I don’t want that game to catch me”. Score one for the parents and honest “Candy Land” players around the world!!!

Well yesterdays question was for you to describe your first memory of cheating, today I’d like to hear about the first time you got caught and if the repercussions were enough to deter you from doing it for a while.

A Cheater In His Habitat

Have you ever wondered how kids learn to cheat?  Is it something that they see others doing and just pick up, or is it in them from birth?  Those are questions that I’ve been asking myself lately and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s pure instinct.  I think we’re all born with it, and it just comes naturally.  Through our desires of winning and succeeding, we find a way to make it happen, even if it isn’t attainable on our own merit.  You may be asking what drove me to make such a brazen claim.  Well, I had a test subject and his name was Ty, and you know what, one day my test subject decided to cheat!  Once he did, it was game time! Operation “Stop The Cheater” was in full effect and Fefe & I were ready to unleash a shock and awe campaign.

As I was on my way home from work, about to enter the door, I get a text from Fefe that says “I think Ty just cheated in “Candy Land”, don’t say anything when you come in”.  So I’m ultra confused, like what is she talking about, Ty doesn’t cheat?  When I walk in the house, I see Ty on the floor with the game and he’s mixing up the cards, and Fefe is peeping her head from the kitchen signaling me to come in there.  Once I go into the kitchen, it felt like an episode of “The Sopranos”.  I mean seriously, she starts running water in the kitchen sink to muffle her whispers as if the house was bugged and this was the only safe way to communicate. In the faintest voice ever, she tells me that she thinks Ty just cheated in “Candy Land” and was trying to see if he was going to do it again.  Ty had never cheated before so I figured she was mistaken.

She explained that during their first game, she told Ty to mix up the cards and she went into the kitchen to check on the food.  When she came back, Ty was giggling and looked very sneaky, he insisted on going first since he was the youngest.  For those of you not familiar with “Candy Land”, the rules state that the youngest person goes first.  We’ve played this game millions of times, so it was very peculiar for Ty to mention this.  So Fefe just brushed it off and they begin the game, Ty turns over his first card and it’s the ice cream cone.  Again, for the “Candy Land” impaired, the ice cream cone puts you maybe 5-8 spots away from the end of the game.  Now it is very strange that this would be the first card pulled, but I wouldn’t go and brand the boy a cheater based on this speculation alone.  Since I didn’t believe our son was the next Bill Belichick, Fefe was a little irked and decided to prove it to me.  She said that they were going to play another game; she had already told him to mix the cards and had been hiding out in the kitchen pretending to cook.  This would give him enough time to stack the deck.  I smell entrapment, but would never tell her that, lol.

We turn off the water that was ever so cleverly hiding our conversation from Ty and his super ears and we head back into the living room, all set for another round of “Candy Land”.  As soon as we sit down to play and I look at Ty’s face, I know that Fefe was right and I was terribly wrong.  Our son was a cheater.

Again, he quickly proclaims that he got to go first since he was the youngest. Once he took his turn, sure enough, wouldn’t you know it that darn ice cream cone popped up again. Ty even had the audacity to say “oh wow, I’m a really good player today”. I couldn’t believe it; he was cheating & being smug about it.  Well Fefe & I are the type of parents like you see on TV shows; you know the ones that go above & beyond to teach their kids a lesson? Yup, that’s us, and what a lesson we taught him.

Come back tomorrow for part 2 and to learn how we taught Ty the cheating lesson of his life.  But in the meantime, can you recall your first time cheating?  Was it in a game, in school?  Maybe you’ve never cheated, which I would highly doubt, but hey anything’s possible.  Leave your comments.

I absolutely enjoy introducing my favorite childhood experiences to my kids.  This ranges from games to cartoons, or even crazy traditions that my parents did with me.  Sometimes the ideas go over really well and the kids love it, and then there are those times when things don’t click just right.  Yesterday was one of those days.  I introduced Ty to the game of “Hot or Cold” and it was a disaster.

I’m sure that you all remember this game right?  It’s the game where you hide an item and then tell the person searching for it if they’re hot or cold, depending on how close they are to the object.  I used to love playing this game as a kid and just knew that it’d be something fun to play with Ty.  Boy was I wrong; it was one of the most dreadful experiences of my life!  Okay, well it wasn’t that bad, but it was bad enough to make me tuck “Hot or Cold” away in the Daddy memory banks for the next few years.

You see, one problem that I have with introducing games and activities from my past is that I can never remember exactly how old I was when I enjoyed it.  Typically, things get introduced because I’ll have some random thought of a childhood memory and a light bulb goes off that says “Hey you, remember how much fun we used to have playing that game?  Well, let’s play it right now, and since you have kids you can pawn it off on them so you won’t be a weirdo playing children’s games”.  See, I told you guys that I was a big kid at heart, but at least now I have an outlet (kids) to rationalize my behavior.  So the thought comes in my head, but it never occurs to me that maybe I was a little bit older when I partook in this activity as a child.  Maybe that’s the reason it was so fun, because I actually understood how the game worked.  Yesterday, Ty was not so lucky.  Unfortunately he has a Dad that is determined to relive childhood through him & he has to suffer the consequences.

We start off by explaining the concept of the game, which Ty expressed vehemently that he understood.  Ty is so full of energy and gets so super excited at the thought of a new activity that he can’t risk the chance of additional instruction if he didn’t understand because that would delay the getting started.  If you don’t know, kids HATE waiting when it comes to playtime.  Therefore, he’d rather play it by ear and learn as he goes, rather than learn it up front.  This is normally perfectly fine, but during a game of “Hot or Cold” not so much. 

I get the privilege of hiding the item first.  Ty is so excited that he could barely keep his eyes closed long enough for me to get the thing hidden.  He must have asked me a zillion times if I was ready and if he could open his eyes.  Finally I tell him that I’m ready and BOOM he’s off!  Totally forgetting the fact that I would be giving him clues to where the item was by using the “hot” & “cold” cues.  Instead, he started searching the entire house regardless of how “hot” or “cold” he was.  I called a quick time out to remind him that I would be leading him to the item and we were back on track.  He eventually found it, never mind the fact that he was “so hot that you’re burning” for about 5 mins.  The point is that he found the stupid thing. 

So now it’s his turn to hide the object and things got really ugly.  I don’t know if Ty got fascinated by screaming the word “cold” or what, but that’s what he did.  No matter where I went, I was “cold”.  Clearly Fefe knew where the item was and found great amusement in the fact that even when I was near it, I was still “cold”.  It got so bad that even Tre joined in and started repeatedly screaming “I’m Cold”, at least he threw me a few misguided “Hots” out there as well.  After Fefe had her fun laughing at me, she decided to help Ty out & coach him on how to efficiently guide me to the hidden object.  When I found it, I have to admit, it was hidden very well.  At least I know if Ty commits a crime, he’ll be able to get rid of the evidence effectively.

We played a few more rounds of the game; things got a little better as we went on, but not much.  It helped that I started peeking while Ty was hiding the item so at least I’d have some idea of where to look.  Ty had a great time, and really enjoyed the game.  I feel bad for Fefe today because I know that he’s going to want to play again.  Good luck babe!

What are some of the games or activities from your childhood that you enjoy sharing with your kids?  I’d love to hear your ideas, maybe it’ll help provide a suitable replacement for “Hot or Cold” in our household.

Don’t forget to check out Ty’s Tuesday Toy Review today.

Anybody that knows me will tell you that I’m a big kid at heart.  So the majority of the time, playing with the kids is more of a treat than a choir. I love creating goofy, crazy games to play with Ty & Tre.  The kids love it; they’re naturally silly anyway.  With that being said, bare witness to our super awesomely cool blues band: “Blue Pans & Bang Bang”.

Ah man, I had to take a minute to laugh.  I haven’t seen that clip in a few months &  watching it again, I remember how much fun Ty & I had creating the band.  I’m not exactly sure how the band name was derived, but I do know that it was all Ty’s doing.  He’s always good for a random saying that makes no sense to anyone but himself & sometimes me as well.  We use this great skill of his to aggravate Fefe at times.  Ty will come up with something completely stupid but funny sounding, for example, a few days ago it was “Doo Doo Bip”, now I have no clue what a doo doo bip is, or what it means, for that matter.  But go ahead, try saying it really fast and I bet you’ll at least crack a smile.  Warning, if you’re in your cube or another public place, I’d advise waiting to perform this activity, people WILL look at you like you’re crazy. 

But anyways, back to the story, Ty comes up with the doo doo bip saying and I play along.  We head into the kitchen while Fefe is cooking and start asking her if she knows where the doo doo bip is?  Did she take the doo doo bip?  Has she seen the doo doo bip?  This drives her absolutely crazy, and provides more than a few good laughs for Ty & I.  Clearly this phrase means absolutely nothing, but the fact the both Ty & I appear to know its true meaning & Mommy doesn’t is enough to provide entertainment for a short amount of time at least.

Now that you have a little insight on the imaginative nature of Ty’s mind, you can better appreciate “Blue Pans & Bang Bang”.  The band formed because I was a little down that day and asked Ty to play a game of “Hungry Hungry Hippos” with me to cheer me up.  I told him that I had the blues & if he played with me, they would go away (I was lying, but it made him feel useful).  He says “What are the blues?”  I couldn’t believe that he didn’t know what the blues were; his poor misguided soul must be introduced.  I told him to get his band playset and I’d teach him about the blues.  Ty was in charge of naming our band and I was in charge of naming the song.  With our two kooky brains working together, our debut hit single was born.  I foresee a long career ahead for Blue Pans & Bang Bang, our Hungry Hungry Hippos song will be on iTunes & in all major retail outlets soon, lol.