HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Oh Wait, We're A Little Late For That

Well, here you have it folks, we’ve reached the third and final installment of our it’s never too late series. Believe me, I know that I’m totally pushing the boundaries of that statement seeing as how it’s Jan 31st and I’m still blogging about New Years. But oh well, what can you do ya know? The neighbors Christmas lights are still on, so I’m gonna keep this holiday posts party going.

New Years Eve was a lot of things this year, it was filled with a range of emotions ranging from excitement to regret, all the way to sickness (wait, is sickness an emotion? Well for all intents and purposes of this blog post it is).  To truly understand why NYE was a total emotional roller coaster, we must first take a look at the day before NYE, it was this day that led to many of the unfavorable emotions that were experienced.  Since it was the last day before my Mom left, we decided to have a few friends over to the house and by a few, I mean two; well that didn’t exactly go according to plan.  Somewhere along the line, someone (being me) decided that since Mom was leaving on NYE, we could use this as an opportunity to celebrate with friends we wouldn’t see on the holiday due to having no sitter. Probably not the smartest idea, but hey, what’s done is done.

So our two turned into about 12 and we got the party started!!! It was a great time, we really enjoyed the company, the drinks, the laughs, the drinks, the entertainment, and of course the drinks.  Can you guess which one of those things led to the majority of our discomfort the next day? I’ll give you a hint, it wasn’t the freaking laughs! The issue at hand here is that we had to be up at 7am to take my Mom to the airport, the fact that we didn’t go to bed until 3am presented a bit of a problem.   We woke up, but boy it wasn’t pretty, that’s all I’m gonna say about the subject.

My Mom’s plane took off at the same that Ty’s plane landed, it was perfect.  Or so we thought.  While in route to the airport, Fefe got notification that Ty’s plane had been delayed, his pilot was sick.  Fortunately, it was only an hour delay , so the timing still worked.  Meanwhile back at the homefront, Tre was finally waking up and that meant trouble for me because i was stranded on hangover island.  I mean it was so bad that the boy asked for gummies and i told him no, because it was too early for candy. Fast forward 20 mins and Tre says that he was hungry, I couldn’t phantom how close to death getting up and making breakfast would push me, so I hit an all-time Daddy low; I told Tre to go get some gummies for breakfast.  Smh, I know I know, please don’t think less of me, I was in dark place in my life.  As you could can see, we were in dire need of Fefe’s return.

Unbeknownst to me, Fefe wasn’t fairing to well, that one hour delay had turned into a 3hr delay.  The fact that the airport is 45 mins away from our home, coming back for a little rest wasn’t very practical.  However, practicality got thrown out of the window due to a wardrobe malfunction that Fefe experienced while en route to the airport. I know you’re wondering what type of malfunction she experienced, well all I’ll say is: an article of her clothing was soiled by a liquid substance, a liquid substance that could be classified as a bodily fluid, a bodily fluid that exits the body via the oral cavity.  Well I guess I pretty much painted that picture for you…moving on.

So Fefe came home, changed clothes, left right back out, returned two hours later with Ty and all was right with the world again.  Both of our hangovers were subsiding and we were extremely excited that Ty was back.  Now we could finally put a close to our 2011 Christmas chapter.  Ty was totally excited to see all of his gifts, but what nearly brought a tear to my cheek was the fact that he was even more excited about seeing all of us.  He took time out to give each of us hugs and kisses before even asking about opening gifts.  I felt that it spoke volumes to his character and it was one of the best Christmas gifts that I received.

We all sat down and gave Ty our full attention as he opened his gifts, it was like Christmas morning all over again.  A fascinating discovery was made during this time: wine and wrapping doesn’t mix (remember this from part 1?)  Apparently, Santa’s little helpers thought it was a good idea to give Ty a Xploderz gun from Fefe and I, but have Santa give him the ammo.  Another screw up came when the name tag on the gift said from Santa, but the actual gift said from Nani.  Luckily, we were able to circumvent these mistakes and keep Ty’s belief in Santa intact.  All in all, we had a great second Christmas and although it didn’t erase the fact that Ty wasn’t with us on the actual day, it did make up for it.

Never seen a kid so happy about a coffee mug

When it actually came time to ring in the New Year, we were so exhausted that there was no “party” left in us.  Ty was sleep, Fefe was half way there, I was considering moving one of the clocks ahead so we could just get it over with.  Tre was the only one ready and excited to ring in the New Year.  He was pumped as if 2012 was gonna be his year and his year alone!  We made it to watch the ball drop, toasted with some champagne, kissed, and then lights out.  By 12:14 we were all sleep.  It’s sad really, but hey, it gives us a whole lot of room for improvement next year.

Ready For The Big Moment

BOTTOM'S UP!!!!

The Small Things That Make Kids Happy

I looked out my window last night & the Christmas lights were still blaring bright, therefore, the extremely late holiday recap will continue. Today, I’ll give you guys a quick rundown of Tre’s birthday, but more importantly, discuss the difficulties and pitfalls associated with having a birthday that falls in between Christmas and New Year’s.
For some odd reason, this year, Tre was more excited about his birthday than he was about Christmas. I guess this year he truly understood that birthdays are special specifically for the birthday boy, while Christmas is shared by all.  And after stealing Ty’s shine on his birthday, why wouldn’t he be excited.  In the weeks leading up to his big day, we asked Tre what he wanted for his birthday

His response: “A CAKE”.

Ours: “Ummm, okay, what else do you want?”

His:  ”MY FRIENDS!”

Ours: “Duly noted, what about presents?

His: “BALLOONS!”

With his list of demands heard loud and clear, I chalked this us as a simple low cost birthday, no complaints here!

But then I got to thinking about it, perhaps Tre was asking for these types of things because he’s never had a real all out birthday bash type of party. Let me let you guys in on a little secret, having a birthday in between Christmas & New Year’s SUCKS! Each year we attempt to plan a nice party for Tre at a cool venue, but it inevitably falls thru.  People are just too busy with all the holiday hoopla to throw a birthday celebration into the mix as well.  So Tre ends up with a few friends over to the house and a small celebration.  We make sure that even though he’s being cheated on the festivities end, that his birthday is no less important than anyone else’s. He is always showered with tons of gifts, love, and attention from the moment he wakes up until the minute he goes to bed. But his requests had me wondering if that was enough, would he still feel special on his birthday without the big flashy party?

We were originally planning a Chuck E Cheese party, but as the number of available participants dwindled down to nearly zero, the plans changed to another year of celebrating at home.  The eagerness and anticipation he displayed in the days leading up to his birthday had me worried.  We only had two kids signed up to come over, yeah we had a cake, and yeah we had a TON of balloons, but would it be enough?  Would it be the party that his “almost” 4 year old heart desired?  After being awaken each and every morning and hearing “Daddy, now it’s only ‘X’ days until my birthday” for a week straight, my confidence in the answer being yes to the previous question shrunk exponentially.  The boy was clearly excited, I just hoped that we could provide him with whatever he had dreamed up in his little mind and had his hopes set on.

Well I was wrong, Tre loved his birthday! He would have been satisfied with just the few things he asked for.  When he woke up in the morning and came downstairs and saw balloons everywhere he light up like a light bulb.  He began jumping up and down, singing that it was his birthday and he got balloons!  The smile and excitement in his face was truly priceless.  I started to perk up, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.  When his friends arrived, he had so much spunk while welcoming them to his party that you would have thought he was a paid doorman.  Again, I perked up.  The kids played, not with the mountain of toys that were strategically placed throughout the house, but with the BALLOONS! Yes, the balloons that Tre so eagerly asked for was all that was needed to make his party a success.  Those three little boys played with those balloons for the entire duration of the party.  There were fights over the balloons, crying when a balloon was laid to rest (popped), and disagreements about how to play with the balloons.  I couldn’t believe it.

Yummm CAKE!!!

After playtime came cake time, we sung Happy Birthday, and Tre wasted no time blowing out his candles.  I’m almost positive that he didn’t make a wish, even if he claims otherwise.  He loved his Cars cake and now that he got everything that he asked for, his birthday was complete right?  Come on, who are we kidding?  As humble as this child was in his wish list for his birthday, there was no way that he was turning down gifts.  He eagerly opened his gifts, ripping the wrapping paper off with the skill of a well-seasoned vet; tossing clothes to the side, while examining toys with a curious eye. 

Too Much Cake Maybe?

Then he unwrapped his turtle, a turtle that oddly enough he had been asking for constantly, constantly until it came time to build a birthday wish list, strange I know.  He was ecstatic about the new turtle; unfortunately, the turtle didn’t share the same feeling, check the Twitvid below:

 Twitvid: “When being a pet owner goes wrong” http://www.twitvid.com/ALJ7R

After the party was over, we played and played and played.  We played so much that Tre didn’t want to leave the house.  He ended the night in typical Tre fashion: when it was time for bed, the tears began to flow and the dramatic super star that he is began to shine bright.  He threw his head into his hands and softly said “I can’t believe it”, confused, I asked “you can’t believe what buddy?”, he just responded again “I just can’t believe it Daddy, I just can’t”.  It took Fefe and her motherly ways to get him to open up and explain what exactly it was that he couldn’t believe.  It turns out that he couldn’t believe his birthday was over, he wanted it to last forever. Lol.

Well that let me know that he truly enjoyed his special day and it didn’t take a sweet 16 style party to make him happy.  I learned to listen to my kids and not to put my thoughts onto their requests from now on.  If the boy wants balloons, then dammit, I’ll give him balloons!

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree

Well maybe sometimes it is.  But seeing as how my neighbors still have their Christmas lights on, I figured what the hell; let’s do the annual end of the year holiday recap right now, today.  Who cares that we’re a complete two weeks into the new year anyway?  These stories are timeless right? Better late than never right?  It’s better to finish the race last, than to not finish at all…right?  Okay, so have I completely talked myself out of being a lazy bum and slacking on the holiday post?  Yes you say, well great, let’s proceed with the recap of Christmas, Tre’s Bday, and New Year’s.

Christmas 2011

This year our Christmas was a little bit different than it has been in past years, this year, for the first time ever, Ty was not with us.  Let me be the first to tell you, it sucked!  It sucked for us, and I know it sucked for him, but as part of the ruling (read about that foolishness here), Ty was forced to spend Christmas week in NC.  We did have a few extra attendees for our Christmas day festivities, but neither my Mom nor the cameo appearance from Uncle Carl could make up for Ty’s absence.

We got the festivities started early this year in preparation for Ty’s departure.  We started a new tradition of cutting down our own Christmas Tree, (if you haven’t read about that, go do it now, it made the top 11 of ’11), made our annual ginger bread houses (this year featured a tree), and sang Christmas carols (with the help and assistance of the I Am T-Pain app).  So as you can see, each of our traditions had a little bit of something new to them; it seemed fitting since our biggest tradition of being a family on Christmas was forcefully being broken.

Open Up Wide Kiddo

Gingerbread Tree

Another twist to our Christmas traditions was the Christmas Eve wrapping marathon that Fefe embarks on every year.  Each year she is up until 1-2am wrapping gifts, which means I’m up until 2-3am organizing them under the tree.  This year, I implored her to start wrapping earlier in the week, she resisted and on Christmas Eve she was faced with a mountain of gifts, a mountain of paper, and only a small amount of time.  But this year was different, she called in for backup.  There was a 4 woman sweat shop going, and man where those woman efficient (or so I thought).  In addition to having help this year, Fefe (and crew) also helped herself to a few glasses of wine as well.  This seemed innocent at the time, but as we later found out, the drinking and wrapping tradition will not be making a repeat performance next year.

The Stage Is All Set

Christmas morning arrived and I couldn’t wait until Tre woke up so we could open gifts.  As some of you already know, when it comes to Christmas I’m a big kid.  I’m seriously considering seeking help for this condition.  By all logic, I should have grown out of it by now, but for the past 15 years, I have been unable to sleep for more than 3 consecutive hours on Christmas Eve.  This year taking the cake, raking in a whopping total of ZERO hours of sleep.  I felt like a crackhead, gifts being my poison.  By 5am, I was sneaking into Tre’s room, flicking his lights on and off, hoping to wake him up.  By 7, after watching A Christmas Story nearly 3 times back to back, I resorted to more drastic measures: let the dog out and throw his ball in Tre’s room.  It worked, a few minutes later Tre came stumbling into our room and “woke” me up.

The poor child was clearly still in a stupifiedsleepy state, I mean seriously, the boy woke me up and exclaimed that his socks came off.  You would have thought that our house was robbed and all of the gifts were gone by the way he sounded.  I couldn’t believe it, it’s Christmas morning and all Tre is concerned about was his stupid socks?  I’m gonna be honest, being a Christmas fanatic and all, it kinda pissed me off.  After waking Fefe up and wiping the crust out of her eyes, we all headed downstairs and the look on Tre’s face was priceless, I mean, you hear people talk about the money shot, this was definitely it!  He was super excited and couldn’t wait to tear into his gifts, but first we had to go wake up Nani and attempt to wake up Uncle Carl.  Once the gang was all together (with this exception of Uncle Carl) Tre went to work.

The Money Shot - Total Disbelief

The first gift he grabbed belonged to Ty, as did the second, and third.  Fortunately, we were quick enough to avoid any re-wrap situations and explained to Tre the importance of actually looking at the name on the present.  Things went a lot smoother after that conversation.  For some odd reason, Tre kept making reference to the sun and finishing this work (opening presents) before the sun came out.  I have no clue where this came from, or why it was so important to him to have all of his gifts opened before the sun came out.  It was extremely funny until he was unable to complete his goal, and was heartbroken. He was seriously upset, once the sun was up, he had a semi meltdown and gift opening had to be put on hold for a few minutes.  This was strange, but no stranger than his bow fetish from last Christmas.  Luckily, we were able to get back to our regularly scheduled program and enjoy an entire day of playing, and playing, and playing.

Tank Sporting His New Christmas Gifts

Check back tomorrow for the Bday update!  I’ll keep posting holiday themed posts for as long as my neighbors Christmas lights are up, because remember, it’s never too late.

#11 When The Wind Blows

When the wind blows, we move with it

Have you heard the news??? If you follow my Twitter or Facebook, then no doubt, you probably have.  If not, then start following, so that you aren’t the last to the party next time.  Okay, time to fill you in: We’re moving!!!!!!  No, not the Daddy’s Fish Bowl site, but our actual residence.  Our family is packing up and high tailing it from the great state of North Carolina all the way across the country to the Twin Cities in Minnesota.  Well I guess that isn’t all away across the country (I was never good in geography), but hey you get the point.

#10 One Man, One Saw, One Tree 

December is here and boy did it come around quick this year. As most of you may know, December is my month of the year; although, that may change now that I’m back in a cold climate area. But Christmas is in December and it’s my favorite holiday, there for December wins “Month Of The Year Award” time and time again. We usually kick off our holiday rituals by going to pick out our Christmas tree together, this year we were able to do something a little different. Instead of going to just pick out our tree, we actually picked it out and cut it down ourselves. What an adventure that was; luckily we all survived and no one injured any vital organs and came back with all limbs intact.

#9 The Boy In The Plastic Bubble 

Never A Good Sign

Last weekend I’m sure many of you saw my frantic tweets about Tre being rushed to the hospital by ambulance and being admitted into the ICU. You would think that seeing your child whisked away strapped to a gurney in an ambulance would be enough to frighten any parent, surprisingly however, I wasn’t shaken at all by the situation. If anything, I was a bit angry because I felt that the doctors and nurses were going extremely overboard. Well it turns out that Tre is quite a bit more fragile than I had ever anticipated and although he made it thru his hospital “bid” and got paroled early for good behavior, he clearly wasn’t put of the woods yet. Apparently the hospital stint was only the first hurdle for us to overcome in a long race against allergies and asthma.

#8 The Cheating Husband

Til Death Do Us Part...Maybe Not

Have you ever been accused of something that you know deep down in your heart, you didn’t do?  Have you tried to explain your side of the story, offering explanations, justifications, and just down right sound logic to no avail?  Only to have your accuser look at you with a condemning look that can make the most innocent man feel guilty.  If you have experienced these things, then you know exactly what I went through last night.  It was a horrible experience; it is over now, although the look on her face was one of distrust after our dialog was finished.  I don’t know where we stand after this, but one thing is for sure: I love my wife and would never break our sacred vows by cheating on her.

#7 The Sexist Toddler: Male Elitism At A Young Age

Boy Dog, Girl Dog, Who Cares Right?

I’m just going to be blunt here; Tre is a toddler sexist. I have to call it how I see it, even if that means bashing my own flesh n blood. The sad part is, I blame myself. Well not really, but whenever something goes wrong with a child, everybody rushes to blame the parents, so I figured I’d beat you guys to it. Apparently he’s been this way his entire life and I’m just now realizing it. Maybe deep down I’ve always known the truth, but did my best to suppress it in hopes that it would go away. However, lately, it has become undeniable; his blatant sexism and total disregard for the opposite sex is now too much to ignore. You may be wondering how is it possible that a toddler, a child so pure, so innocent could be labeled something as harsh as a sexist. Well it’s really pretty simple; he feels that the male persuasion is superior in every way, shape, and form (his words, not mine). How do I know this you say? I know this because Tre refuses to utilize feminine pronouns to address individuals belonging to the female gender. To Tre, everything is he, his, or him, regardless of the sex of the person he’s referring to. I don’t know about you, but to me that seems pretty sexist.

#6 Planes, Trains, & Automobiles 

All Packed & Ready To Go

Fefe & Tre come back to Minneapolis tonight, FOR GOOD this time and I thought it was only fitting to share with you the story of Tre’s first plane ride, train ride, and (Minnesota)car ride; which took place a little over a month ago when we made the trip to Minneapolis for the first time (and what we thought was the last time).  It was actually his second plane ride, but seeing as how he was only a few months old for the first one, I think this trip qualifies as his (un)official first trip on an airplane.

As with everything that Tre is involved in, associated with, or a part of, his plane ride was full of spectacle, laughter, drama, and pretty much plain ole pure entertainment.  So sit back, kick your feet up and get prepared to enjoy the Tre Variety Hour (or 15 mins in this case).

#5 Hoarders: The Toddler Edition

A Hoarder & His Stuff (Can You Find Him?)

For most people, breaking up is hard to do.  Whether it’s breaking up with a lover, a close friend, or a trusted colleague, it is never an easy task.  But what about breaking up with personal belongings?  Is that just as difficult as breaking up with a person?  If you ask Tre, his answer will most certainly be YES!  This past weekend, in preparation for our big move, we attacked out attic, as evidenced in the above photo.  During this 2-3 hour marathon cleaning session, we found old toys, old clothes, old pictures, pretty much just all things old!  But for one member of our family, old meant new and this daunting task turned out to be a 1940’s gold rush for him

#4 You Win Some, You Lose Some

Win, Lose, Or Draw?

From the look of the picture above, I guess it’s pretty safe to say that Ty lost this one. I really wish that I could tell you guys that this was an epic battle for the ages, complete with a training montage, Rocky Balboa style; but alas, I can’t. This thing was over before it even got started, I’m talking split second, one hitter quitter, wam bam thank you Ma’am. Looking at that picture, all I can think is, why my boy? What could I have done differently to protect him? The answer to those questions is staring me right in the face; I should have stopped this along time ago.

#3 Imitation Of Life 

Notice Anything Different?

Typically, I open these posts by beating around the bush, starting out with rudimentary questions and examples, ending on a cliffhanger and letting the situation unfold as the post goes on. Well I’m not going to do that today, I’m just gonna get straight to the point. That point is: Tre got his ear pierced this weekend. Yeah it looks cute, yeah he really loves it, and yeah he took the procedure like a champ. But none of that really matters. The only thing that matters in this story is the ‘why’ he got his ear pierced. The reason why he got it pierced can strictly be attributed to the imitation of life.

#2 Stay At Home Mom vs. The Working Dad

and the WINNER is....

Okay DFB family, time for a serious topic here at the bowl. As I write this, I have my vodka & cranberry sitting next to the computer; attempting to recover from the events that just took place in my household. Timeout, I know you may be thinking how dare he bring up a serious topic while under the influence? My response: some of the greatest ideas known to man were created while in a bar & written on a cocktail napkin! I’ve even included a reference. (editor’s note: the events actually took place 2 nights ago.  I guess there was more vodka than cranberry in that drink and I didn’t get a chance to finish the post).

And now for the NUMBER 1 post of 2011….

#1 As Evil As They Come

Apparently, Evilness & Fashion Sense Don't Go Hand In Hand

Have you ever met someone who was just down right mean? When I say mean, I’m talking about borderline evil! I have met such a person, I have looked them in their eyes and lowered my head in shame due to their behavior. It isn’t easy to stare down the face of evil and walk away unscathed, but somebody has to do it, someone has to stand up for the little people, and yesterday, that someone was Ty.

Honorable Mentions:

Coming Home With A Bang

The Naughty List (Part 2)

If you missed part one of this troubled tale, head on over and read it so you’ll have some context for the funny part 2 of this post!

As if the shame of enacting the Santa ClausE wasn’t weighing heavily enough on my conscious, Tre decided to jump in and be my assistant authority figure.  My assistant seemed to take much more pleasure in the naughty list punishment than I did however.  Typically, I don’t let the kids get involved in repercussions of each others disciplinary actions, but when Tre decided to ensure that Ty knew exactly what was looming over his head, I let it go.

Immediately after I finished writing my letter to Santa, Tre seemed as devastated as Ty.  This was the first that he had heard of a naughty list and the implications of having your name placed on it.  He had tons of questions:  Daddy, why is Ty on the naughty list, are you really going to mail that letter, Ty not gonna get NO presents, not NONE?  With each question, Ty’s sobbing multiplied on an exponential basis.  It was as if Tre was asking the exact questions that Ty wanted answers too and my responses weren’t exactly what he was looking for.  Tre seemed to genuinely be sad that he would have to carry the burden of opening Christmas gifts on his own.

The next morning, his sadness was quickly replaced with satire.  It was as if during his sleep, he got Inception’d.  I literally think Leonardo Dicaprio came to him and placed the idea in his head that no gifts for Ty meant more gifts for him.  Because the next morning, Tre was on the warpath, I mean truly ruthless.  As soon as Ty woke up, Tre asked him if he was on the naughty list, utilizing a tone and demeanor that could only be described as sinister.  Ty elected to ignore the question.  Tre, determined to get answers, especially since Leo had corrupted his pure young soul,  asked me the same question.  The conversation went something like this:

Tre: “Daddy, is Ty on the naughty list?”

Me: “Yes, Ty is on the naughty list”

Tre (turns to Ty): “Ty, you are on the naughty list and now you not gonna get no presents”.  By the conviction in his delivery, you would have thought that he was providing brand new information to Ty.

Ty (annoyed): “Okay Tre, I get it”

I think that Tre took this as a personal insult, how dare his question annoy Ty?  Especially with his current designation as a naughty list kid, who did he think he was?  So to get even, Tre decided to take it upon himself to try and get all of Ty’s gifts revoked, not just those coming from Santa.  Another conversation ensued:

Tre (in a quite eager voice): “Daddy, but Ty already got a present under the tree, he on the naughty list, so he don’t get NO presents right?”

***sidenote*** As if this statement wasn’t bad enough on its own, to make matters worse, the present under the tree that Tre was referring to is the one that HE bought for Ty.

Me: “Ty can have that present because it didn’t come from Santa”.

Tre: “Ty, you get one present for Christmas, just one, not a bunch of presents.  Only me, Mommy, and Daddy, and Tank would get lots of presents.

SMH, really Tre?  The dog?  You had to go as far as throwing the dog into the present mix as well?  Does his evil know no bounds? This had gone far enough, if the boy dug the dagger in any deeper, he’d be cutting thru the couch that Ty was sitting on.

I could tell that Ty was getting extremely upset by Tre’s innocent (but hurtful) banter.  To be honest, I didn’t feel that bad for Ty, I was actually happy that someone was reminding him of his misdeeds and subsequent consequence of those deeds other than myself or Fefe.  Maybe the ridicule that his little brother was providing would be the icing on the cake that allowed him to realize the error in his ways.

In Tre’s defense, he did take it upon himself to notify me that Ty had been good in school as soon as I came home from work.  He even campaigned for me to take the letter out of the mailbox so Santa won’t get it.  He was fighting for Ty’s freedom as if Ty offered up half of his allowance as incentive.  I was happy to hear that Ty had a successful day in school (even if it came from his campaign manager and not him), and I look forward to hearing about many more.

I don’t know if it was the threat of losing Christmas alone, or the fact that Tre added a little something on top, but Ty truly seems focused on turning his behavior around (even if it is only for the next 2 weeks).

December is here and boy did it come around quick this year. As most of you may know, December is my month of the year; although, that may change now that I’m back in a cold climate area. But Christmas is in December and it’s my favorite holiday, there for December wins “Month Of The Year Award” time and time again. We usually kick off our holiday rituals by going to pick out our Christmas tree together, this year we were able to do something a little different. Instead of going to just pick out our tree, we actually picked it out and cut it down ourselves. What an adventure that was; luckily we all survived and no one injured any vital organs and came back with all limbs intact.

I’ve had a real Christmas tree every year since I was a young child, and it’s something that I want to continue with my family. Since we’ve always had a real tree, naturally, I always that it would be cool for my Dad and I to cut it down together. Unfortunately, that never happened. I grew older and tucked that little dream nugget away safely in my memory banks. This year however, the memory somehow battled its way through the confines of my mind and escaped. This year I had an idea, and that idea was to cut down a tree with my boys. A plan was set in motion and it was implemented this past weekend.

Since I’ve wanted to do this ever since I was a kid, you can only imagine the ideas and visions floating around my head about how it would be, the fun we would have, and how rewarding the process would feel. Well, let me clue you in on a few things: this CHORE was nothing like I had expected it to be, fun is probably the adverb that most closely describes exactly what we did not have, and instead of feeling rewarded, I felt cheated.

I must have sensationalized the hell out of what goes in to cutting down a Christmas tree and I think the boys practiced the same exact exercise. I imagined heading deep into the woods, axe in hand, and scouting for the perfect tree. After locating our prize, a few swift swings of the axe and I’d be yelling TIMBER, kids would be jumping with joy and we’d be on our merry way, singing Christmas carols all the way home. I’m assuming you already know that this hallmark moment didn’t happen for our family.

By the time we got to the tree farm, it was already getting dark; that meant we had to work fast. There was no time to be nitpicky about a tree, we had just drove 45 mins and were not coming home empty handed. Once we found a tree that was semi suitable, it was time to start cutting. Remember that axe I had in my depiction of how this event would go? Well, yeah, in the real world, it didn’t exist! Instead I had a puny, but effective bow saw. Not quite as cool as swinging an axe right? Oh well, it’ll still do the job, so now it’s time to cut, only problem is I can’t even find the trunk of the tree. How am I supposed to cut a tree down if I can’t even find the freaking trunk? There were branches all around the bottom of the tree and the fact that it was dark now wasn’t helping either. So I had to lay down on my back while Ty pulled branches back and Fefe used her cell phone to give me some light. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, it was a whopping 10 degrees outside that night, so laying on the frozen ground was oh so much fun!

After what seemed like an eternity of cutting, I got tired. I was cold, the kids were cold, Tre had snot running down his nose. I had had enough; it was time to kick this thing into overdrive! I stood up, got a running start and Bobby Boucher’d the tree while yelling TIMBER! The kids got a kick out of it, I saved myself another 5-10 mins of sawing and we were steps closer to getting warm again; all was right in the world again. That is until we came to the realization that yes we found a tree, yes we had success (somewhat) in cutting it down, but how in the hell are we supposed to get it back to the main office so that we could tie it down? That’s when it hit me; we forgot to grab rope before heading into the woods. So what do we do now? Well the most logical thing of course: we threw the tree on top of the car, Fefe drove while I stood on the side of the car hanging in between the body and the door all while holding onto the tree. I gotta tell ya, this was no easy task, we were deep in the woods driving down bumpy dirt roads, and there were more than a few close calls. Luckily we made it back without me falling off the car and killing myself. When we arrived, the lumberjacks simply smiled and said: “well that’s the first time we’ve seen something like that”

Smart Cycle Racer – We purchased this toy for Ty a few years back and he got a lot of good use out of it.  This item is both educational and physically stimulating.  Your preschooler has the opportunity to learn a wide variety of subjects while getting some well deserved exercise at the same time.  And they have the nerve to say that video games are bad for kids, not when the Smart Cycle is involved.

Kid Tough See Yourself Camera – This is another toy that Ty was once the proud recipient of, only this time around Fisher Price has come back with quite a few improvements.  I already thought the original was a great idea; it gives children the chance to take real live pictures that can even be uploaded to your personal computer, all without the risk of ruining your $300 point and shoot camera.  This toy is build kid tough and with the intention of taking quite a beating.  It’s rough exterior will ensure that your little one will be taking pictures for quite some time to come.  The biggest improvement to this year’s model is the rotating camera option, now the little ones can take perfect pictures of themselves as well as you.

Chuggington Train Table – Having a cool train set just isn’t the same without providing a train table to go along with it.  Adding a train table helps bring the action right to your preschoolers level, which will only enhance playtime imagination.  In addition, the table adds a ton of extra scenery that will allow your child to really feel like their train set is coming to life.

Roary The Racing Car – A remote control car is usually a kid’s first experience with driving and being behind the wheel.  That being said, help your insurance premiums out and get them going early by learning good driving techniques while practicing with their remote control cars.  Roary is based off of the popular animated series and comes equipped with easy button navigation that even a preschooler can control as well as realistic racing sound effects that they will be sure to enjoy.

Leap Pad – Dads love gadgets, Moms love gadgets, so why would we expect anything different from our offspring?  Kids younger and younger are falling in love with gadgets and while you may be tempted to hand over your iPad to quiet your youngster down during a boring appointment, the thought of a cracked screen may be enough to make you resist. That’s why you should get them their own Leap Pad, modeled after the iPad with child learning in mind; it makes the perfect gift for a young geek child.  Instead of Angry Birds, let your child learn cool words (MC KEITH in the house).

Power Wheels Jeep Wrangler – If your preschooler is ready to put down the remote control and really get behind the wheel, this Power Wheels Jeep Wrangler will provide a little buffer between you and the keys to your actual car.  With room for 2 and enough horsepower to accommodate most daredevils, your kid will love exploring in their new vehicle.

Mickey’s Camping Adventure – Play time is all about imagination time right?  So this Mickey Camping Adventure is right up imagination’s alley.  Just think of all the creative play options that will come to life when your child opens this toy.  Mickey and Pluto can set out on numerous adventures as their camper opens up to reveal a campsite with various activities.

Memory Card Game – Now is the perfect time to tap into your little ones ever growing brain and get the juices flowing with a simple game of memory.  As these games come in a variety of character themes, I’m sure you’ll no doubt be able to find one that captures the attention of your preschooler. 

Play-Doh Fairytale Stories Collection – Let’s face it, as parents, we all hate Play-Doh.  It’s messy, kids get upset when colors mix together, and those things dry up pretty quick when dealing with little ones who don’t always close containers all the way.  So why is this on the list you ask?  It’s simple, kids love play-doh, they love taping into their inner Michelangelo. At least with this version, parents get a little bonus to go along with the heartache. This Play-Doh kit comes along with three fairytales that you can read along to your child as they sculpt the characters of the story.  Now playtime and story time can become one in the same.

So this year, I’m using Thanksgiving as an opportunity to share the gift of “gratitude exercises” with my family.  If you aren’t familiar with gratitude exercises I’ll give you a quick rundown: it’s simply taking time out each day to recognize the good things in your life that you are grateful for, simple things that are often overlooked, but make a world f difference in your everyday life.  It is real easy to focus on the negative events in ones life because they come in quick, hit hard, and can leave a lasting effect. Positive occurrences on the other hand are easy to take for granted because we expect these things as a part of our daily lives. For example, a woman running late for a meeting ends up breaking the heel of her favorite shoe  and is very upset about it, not to mention I would think it’d be pretty uncomfortable walking around lopsided for the remainder of the day.  I’d say that’s enough to screw up a person’s day right?  It is enough, until gratitude exercises come into play and you realize that yes the heel broke, but you are grateful for the fact that you are able to walk.  How many people wake up and realize how fortunate they are just because they can get out of bed?  I’m positive that the person who can’t walk on their own would switch places with that broken heeled woman in a minute and be proud to carry on the rest of their day in that “unfortunate condition”.

See gratitude exercises can do wonderful things for your life, taking negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones will most certainly improve your outlook on life.  That’s why I’m introducing this to my children this year during Thanksgiving, I want to ensure that they don’t grow up feeling as though they are entitled to all of the luxuries that we provide for them;  because in the blink of an eye, it could all be gone. If for some unfortunate reason that did occur, I want to ensure that my boys have strong moral character to realize that they will be just fine, that things and possessions don’t define who they are and even when things seem like they are at their worst, you can always find something to be grateful for and someone who would trade places with you and look at your “bad situation” as an improvement to their life.

To start off, I asked both of the kids what they were grateful for. We’ll discuss in more detail over dinner, but as you can see, we’ve got a lot of work to do with one of them, lol.
Ty’s Response: I’m thankful for my mom and dad and my friends and our family. Oh and for food too.
Tre’s Response: I’m thankful for playing this game *proceeds to pull out his iphone*

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! One thing that I’m thankful for is all of my wonderful readers, you guys give me an outlet to share the thing that means most to me: my family.

What are some things that you are thankful for?  Leave a comment and let me know.

Me & My Momma

Listen up people, I’m about to let you in on the United States best kept secret, matter of fact, screw that, this is probably the best kept secret of the entire world!!! All of the various world organization leaders have had this knowledge for quite some time and decided to withhold it from you, for fear that you would not be able to process and accept the magnitude that this secure holds.  But you know what? I am here and i am not afraid, I’m am standing up to my oppressors and telling them that I will not stand for it any longer, I know the truth and so should my peers!  So if they won’t tell you, I most certainly will.  Today is a world wide holiday that has been suppressed by the powers that be for many years.  This day, November 9th, should be sang out from the mountain tops as a joyous occasions, yet it passes by each year with only a mention of it being the day that the first issue of Rolling Stone Magazine was published (1962).  Well I say NO MORE, I am breaking the boundaries and letting the people know of the significance that this day holds!!! Follow me people, learn the truth, which has been hidden from you for so many years!

You’ve read this far, so I must applaud your tenacity to go against the grain and seek out what your oppressors have withheld from you for so many year.  Clap, Clap, Bravo!!! You are truly an inspiration to the millions out there who are afraid to step outside of the bubble and deny the hidden agenda propaganda that is forced upon them on a daily basis.  So why is this day so great? You may be asking yourself, why did I risk everything to read on and combat the lies that modern society have fed me?  The answer is simple, to know the truth!  I have the truth, and the truth is: this is the greatest day in the history of mankind because on this day NOT TOO MANY YEARS AGO, the greatest woman of modern society was born, yup, that’s right, my mom was born on November 9th, and due to the fact that years down the line after her birth, she produced a fine specimen such as myself, is merit enough to get her birthday inducted into the World Hall Of Fame!

Okay, so maybe giving birth to me (an uber cool, ultra marvelous being, such as myself) doesn’t qualify her for the person of the year award, it does matter to me and since this is my blog I can showcase what matters to me however I choose!!!!  Haha, yup, I totally just went “it’s my party and I can cry if I want to” on you guys.  But no, seriously, all jokes aside,  my Mom is awesome, she helped make me the man I am today and I honestly don’t know where I would be without her.  The reason that I raise my kids in the manner that I do is because of her, so by extension, the reason that this blog exists is because of her.  So even if you haven’t had the pleasure of meeting my Mom (in which case, I feel terribly sorry for you), the fact that you are reading this blog is more than enough to wish her a Happy Birthday.

Mom, I Love You & Wish You A Very Happy Birthday!!!

We all fear getting old & decrypted, to varying degrees. Weather you are petrified or merely a little concerned about getting old, the fact remains that it’s an inevitable fact of life. One of the major consequences of aging is the fact that us elderly folks are constantly under the threat of being replaced by younger, quicker, sleeker versions of ourselves. When getting up in age, It is completely natural to be paranoid about a youngster taking your job, significant other, or even your competitive edge away from you. But at age 7, what would one have to be afraid of in relation to aging and the younger generation?

Candles that’s what!!! Yup, even the sacred birthday cake and candle ritual isn’t safe for the elderly. Last week during Ty’s birthday party, he experienced his first brush with a younger, faster, more eager individual. Ty had his candle shine stolen right from under his nose and didn’t even know it. Honestly, no one knew what happened; Tre was so quick with his actions that no one really caught it. He was highly suspected of the crime, but it wasn’t until we reviewed the video footage that we were positive that Tre was the culprit.

Ty was a good sport about it and didn’t get too upset. He learned quickly though, and made sure that young buck didn’t steal his shine a second time. I think Ty still has a few years before he has to truly be concerned about the younger brother trying to take his spot, but a warning shot was definitely fired and Ty would be wise to heed the warning.

So were you able to spot the young whippersnapper in action during your first play thru of the video, or did it require a double take?