Last night I learned a valuable lesson: nice guys finish last! Yup, that’s right, I’m Mr. Nice Guy, I’m the husband who goes out of his way to ensure his wife is happy. I’m the Dad who would do anything to make his children smile. I’m the friend that would give you his last in a heartbeat. I’m Mr. Nice Guy, not an ounce of hate, meanness, or hostility in my body. You would think that such a personality would be rewarded for the kind acts of service put out into the world. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Last night, I found out that there is no reward for being nice, there is no gold medal for helping people. Instead, you get paid in pain, humiliation, and emptiness. Therefore, after essentially hitting rock bottom by being ridiculed for my kind gestures, I’ve decided that there is no more Mr. Nice Guy, and you all can say hello to the Bad Guy; me reign of terror begins today.
Today I told Fefe to hit the road. I made her pack her bags and head for the hills. I just couldn’t take it anymore, today makes 9 very long months since things just haven’t been the same between us and I’ve finally put my foot down; enough is enough, the BS ends here!
And we’re back for the thrilling conclusion to our ‘No Means No’ post. Will our hero reach enlightenment and understand the true meaning behind the word humility? Will he stand and fight against those who plot to thwart his plans of ultimate rightness? Will the injustices put forth by those who are habitually wrong, but continue to think they are correct be stomped out like a bug? Find out the answers to all of these questions and more by reading part 2 of our 2 part mega saga below.
For those of you who don’t know me very well, I’ll let you in on a little secret; I am a self proclaimed know-it-all and have a well documented history of habitually being correct. I currently sit at an astonishing accuracy rating of 98.98% in all arguments, disagreements, debates, and disputes that I have ever been a part of. If you question the reliability of that factoid, I will be forced to showcase my brilliant wiseacre personality and prove to you just how wrong you are. To spare all of us some grieve, let’s just take my statistic at face value. Up until a few weekends ago, I was sitting pretty at 100%, yes, throughout my 30yrs of life on this earth I had never been wrong. Unfortunately, good things must come to an end and Fefe was the one to put me in my place, by teaching me that no means NO!!!
As I sit at my desk, typing up this blog post for your reading enjoyment, my fingers are crossed. Yes, you read that correctly, I am typing with the fingers of my right hand crossed. So don’t be alarmed if you come across a few typos, or entire words missing from a sentence, for that matter. Just know that it is a necessary evil that I must contend with if I want to provide you guys with these super intelligent and uber entertaining and informative blog posts. What could bring on such preposterous behavior? Why are you being forced to take such precautions? Should I have my fingers crossed as well? I know that these are the burning questions of desire on your mind at this very moment and I’m going to get straight to the point. YES, CROSS YOUR FINGERS, cross them now, go ahead. It is imperative for your future well-being. No, it won’t save you from some unforeseen impending natural disaster, and no, crossing your fingers won’t protect you from the next big pandemic that threatens to wipe humanity off the face of the Earth. But I’ll tell you what it will do; it’ll protect you from contracting the God awful CHEESE TOUCH!!!
It’s FRIDAY!!!!!!, YAYYYYY, we made it through another week. What better way to celebrate by having a little fun? I begged convinced my family to participate in this silly trend and create our own family Harlem Shake video. Since it’s Friday and everyone deserves a little jumpstart to their weekend, we decided to provide a little comic relief. Enjoy!!!
If you’re as clueless as I was about this whole Harlem Shake thing, read about it here before watching the video.
If you’ve participated in the madness that is the Harlem Shake craze, be sure to post a link to your vid below. We’d love to check it out.
Baby Guppy is here, she’s been here for nearly two weeks now and it has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. If you recall, she wasn’t suppose to enter this world until Feb 22nd, however, as you can tell little Miss Kayla Leigh-Ann Robertson decided that it was her time to shine and that no womb would hold her back. She was born on February 1, 2013 at 7:24PM, weighing 4lbs. 4oz. and 17in long. Since that day I have been in complete bliss and have been enjoying every moment of her precious little life.
A LOT has happened in the past few weeks, there’s been so much going on, that my computer and I nearly got a divorce due to the fact that we’ve spent next to zero minutes together recently. Let’s see, a quick rundown: My mom came to visit, Fefe’s Dad came to visit, we had Christmas, we had Tre’s birthday, New Year’s celebrations, plays, date nights, and the list goes on and on. But the most memorable moment of the past few weeks by far is the day I almost died. Could you imagine what your lives would be like had you lost your favorite Daddy blogger to a freak accident? I know, you can’t fathom the thought, so let’s move on and discuss my experience of flirting with the Grimm Reaper.
There’s something alive in my wife’s belly, and I put it there!
WE’RE HAVING A BABY!!!! WhooHoo
Now that the obligatory celebration is out of the way, I can return to being scared totally shitless. I know I know, we’ve been down this road before, we’re already raising two boys. But who says that has to stop my worrying? Have you had a child before? Do you know what those little critters are like the first few months of their lives? I’ve survived infancy once before, last time I checked, people who walk away from natural disasters aren’t in a huge rush to relive the thrill.
The number 25 is significant in our society; there are many things that depend on the number 25 for survival. Gumball machines for instance, could you imagine how much revenue they would lose if that candy cost 26 cents? I mean who wants to dig for a quarter AND a penny while being hounded by a rowdy kid? And what if that silly “25 random things about me” list only had 24 things on it? Could you really go on another day without knowing that last thing about some person you barely knew in high school, but are now internet BFFs with? Of course you couldn’t, because the number 25 makes you whole, it warms that special place in your heart like no other number could do. That’s why when my wife turned a quarter of a century old, I had to put my best foot forward and ensure we celebrated in style.