As I sit at my desk, typing up this blog post for your reading enjoyment, my fingers are crossed. Yes, you read that correctly, I am typing with the fingers of my right hand crossed. So don’t be alarmed if you come across a few typos, or entire words missing from a sentence, for that matter. Just know that it is a necessary evil that I must contend with if I want to provide you guys with these super intelligent and uber entertaining and informative blog posts. What could bring on such preposterous behavior? Why are you being forced to take such precautions? Should I have my fingers crossed as well? I know that these are the burning questions of desire on your mind at this very moment and I’m going to get straight to the point. YES, CROSS YOUR FINGERS, cross them now, go ahead. It is imperative for your future well-being. No, it won’t save you from some unforeseen impending natural disaster, and no, crossing your fingers won’t protect you from the next big pandemic that threatens to wipe humanity off the face of the Earth. But I’ll tell you what it will do; it’ll protect you from contracting the God awful CHEESE TOUCH!!!
It’s FRIDAY!!!!!!, YAYYYYY, we made it through another week. What better way to celebrate by having a little fun? I begged convinced my family to participate in this silly trend and create our own family Harlem Shake video. Since it’s Friday and everyone deserves a little jumpstart to their weekend, we decided to provide a little comic relief. Enjoy!!!
If you’re as clueless as I was about this whole Harlem Shake thing, read about it here before watching the video.
If you’ve participated in the madness that is the Harlem Shake craze, be sure to post a link to your vid below. We’d love to check it out.
Baby Guppy is here, she’s been here for nearly two weeks now and it has been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. If you recall, she wasn’t suppose to enter this world until Feb 22nd, however, as you can tell little Miss Kayla Leigh-Ann Robertson decided that it was her time to shine and that no womb would hold her back. She was born on February 1, 2013 at 7:24PM, weighing 4lbs. 4oz. and 17in long. Since that day I have been in complete bliss and have been enjoying every moment of her precious little life.
A LOT has happened in the past few weeks, there’s been so much going on, that my computer and I nearly got a divorce due to the fact that we’ve spent next to zero minutes together recently. Let’s see, a quick rundown: My mom came to visit, Fefe’s Dad came to visit, we had Christmas, we had Tre’s birthday, New Year’s celebrations, plays, date nights, and the list goes on and on. But the most memorable moment of the past few weeks by far is the day I almost died. Could you imagine what your lives would be like had you lost your favorite Daddy blogger to a freak accident? I know, you can’t fathom the thought, so let’s move on and discuss my experience of flirting with the Grimm Reaper.
There’s something alive in my wife’s belly, and I put it there!
WE’RE HAVING A BABY!!!! WhooHoo
Now that the obligatory celebration is out of the way, I can return to being scared totally shitless. I know I know, we’ve been down this road before, we’re already raising two boys. But who says that has to stop my worrying? Have you had a child before? Do you know what those little critters are like the first few months of their lives? I’ve survived infancy once before, last time I checked, people who walk away from natural disasters aren’t in a huge rush to relive the thrill.
The number 25 is significant in our society; there are many things that depend on the number 25 for survival. Gumball machines for instance, could you imagine how much revenue they would lose if that candy cost 26 cents? I mean who wants to dig for a quarter AND a penny while being hounded by a rowdy kid? And what if that silly “25 random things about me” list only had 24 things on it? Could you really go on another day without knowing that last thing about some person you barely knew in high school, but are now internet BFFs with? Of course you couldn’t, because the number 25 makes you whole, it warms that special place in your heart like no other number could do. That’s why when my wife turned a quarter of a century old, I had to put my best foot forward and ensure we celebrated in style.
With all the “stuff” that Moms put up with, one day to recognize their beauty, love, and efforts just isn’t enough. A lot of people I know have issues with “Hallmark” holidays; they feel that it’s a conspiracy by big corporations to keep their pockets fat while sedating people who are in stale or stagnant relationships. I totally agree! Holidays like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and especially Valentine’s Day are built for those very reasons. Yet, I participate in full force every year and am proud to do so. Before you call me a hypocrite, check out this status update from my wife and be silenced:
My birthday was this past Sunday, yup, this year I got the distinct pleasure of celebrating my birthday on Easter. This is a privilege that has been bestowed upon me only 2 times in my 29 years on this planet. The last time that this occurred was in 2007 and it wasn’t that big of a deal at all. Actually, no one seemed to care too much. I guess if this aligning of the stars and planets occurred when I was a kid, I probably would have been thrilled about my Birthday and Easter being on the same day; I mean gifts plus an Easter basket and Easter candy plus a birthday cake, what’s not to love right? However, as an adult, this coincidence didn’t have much of an effect on me. My offspring on the other hand is a different story. The fact that my birthday and Easter fell on the same day caused one of the largest controversies ever to affect our family.
The wife leaves me alone for one week and blood gets spilled!
So the fantasy is coming to an end, reality is setting in and my days as a free man are nearly over. My family comes back in a few hours and that means I have to return to being a Dad, a Husband, a responsible member of society who contributes positively to the community. But as I look back and reflect on the past seven days, the question arises: do I want to go back? Allow me to present to you, the married man’s version of “The Hangover” and then you tell me if you’d be so eager to return to a life of snot nosed kids and a ball and chain.
When is it acceptable to lie to your spouse or significant other? I know relationships are built on trust and all, but there must be some valid reasons for “displacing” the truth when it comes to the person you love. What if the truth would hurt their feelings? “No babe, that dress doesn’t make you look fat”, is it acceptable then? What if the truth had catastrophic consequences? “Dear, I was really born a man”, is it okay to (in the words of a great Martin episode) “keep the lie alive” then? I don’t believe those, or any situation for that matter, warrant lying to your significant other. Yet, I have been doing just that, I have been perpetrating the funk, I’ve been lying thru my teeth, essentially I have peed on Fefe’s leg & told her it was raining. Figuratively speaking of course! Had to clarify that before you guys start thinking I’ve been possessed by R.Kelly and call the cops on me (Fefe is pretty young and all). Sorry for that tangent, we’re not here for that today. No we’re here for me to bare my soul and beg for forgiveness.