Seeing as how it’s the last day of March and for some God forsaken reason, we still have snow in our forecast for this week, I thought a post about summertime could potentially bring about some good warm weather vibes. You know, the “whole speak it into existence” thing. Worth a try right, so I’m going to take you guys back to when the temps were high, the grass was green, and the snow was gone. Hopefully, Mother Nature will read this post and get the hint to get off her lazy rear end.
Regarding the title of the post, I have to direct that question to my male readers: have you ever had someone kick your balls??? No no no, not those balls, this is a family site remember? I’m talking about things like soccer balls, kick balls, etc. Fefe & I were just reminiscing about a ball related story; Tre’s first soccer season. Contrary to popular belief, getting your balls kicked can actually be kind of fun.
Tre was the king of the soccer field, he definitely got the most valuable INvaluable player award. This kid was all over the field and even though he was wearing his teams uniform, I swear you couldn’t tell which team he was playing for. Tre began as the starting forward, the coaches rev’d him up with a super pep talk and set him lose on the world. One of his teammates passed him the ball and instead of striking fiercely to score, he starts kicking the ball in the opposite direction towards his own goal. Even with the entire crowd yelling “WRONG WAY”, he managed to pull this maneuver off on three separate occasions, blurting out gems such as: “I’m really kicking this ball hard now”, “got my eyes on the ball, and scoring on my mind”. This is the time when all the parents are laughing, and we’re just sitting there shaking our heads. When asked about his actions, he had solid rationale: “there were too many people in front of their goal and the would have took the ball from me, so I had to get out of there and keep it safe”. His 3 attempts at keeping the ball “safe” led to 3 points for the other team.
So being in the field wasn’t his strong suit, but goalie, that’s a whole different ball game right? He wanted to keep the ball safe, now he’s in the perfect position to do so! If only it were that simple. Tre’s recap of his goalie experience: I blocked 2 shots, and they scored 1 shot, so I win. What really happened: 1) he kicked one ball into his own goal, 2) he abandoned his post to chase the ball to the other side of the field and wasn’t fast enough to get back and see the other team score, 3) the shot he blocked was from his own teammate. When the other team did get a “legitimate” score on him, he protested and let the opposing team know that it is not fair to kick the ball over his head because he can’t block it and that’s cheating, so they better not do it anymore or else he quits. He got so worked up during his little rant, flailing his arms around and kicking up grass, that he ended up getting stuck in the net. Okay, maybe goalie isn’t the right place for him.
Back on the field now and our directional challenges were sorted out, he was playing like a real pro this time. That is, until he ran off the field, mid game to take a water break. Oh, and let’s not forget when he scored a goal. Not only did he score a goal, but he scored the goal and then got in the other team’s faces and started talking trash. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that there was no one defending the goal and there actually wasn’t anyone on the field because his score came DURING a timeout.
His first season got off to a rocky start, but he had a blast. He may not be the next Pelé, but we’ll definitely be back on the field this year for more excitement.