Children Of The Corn

4

Posted by Keith | Posted in Play Stories, Tre | Posted on 25-03-2013

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As parents, we all stretch the truth a tad bit from time to time when dealing with our children: magical storks delivering babies, a fat guy who never gets arrested for breaking and entering on Christmas Eve, if you tell the truth you won’t get in trouble, the dog (who is dead) ran away, the list goes on and on. Well, at least at our house it does. Most of these little white lies are well intentioned, and designed to produce better more productive members of society out of our kids. Ah, who am I kidding, these lies make our lives easier; could you imagine how difficult the month of December would be if your naughty list got revoked? But what happens when parents start lying to their kids just for the fun of it? I’ll tell you what happens, if backfires!!! Don’t do it folks, reserve your lies, resist the urge to utilize these precious little tools for entertainment purposes.

During Tre’s 5yrs on this earth, he’s gathered quite the reputation as a mathematician, psychologist, general practitioner, lawyer, veterinarian, and handy man. Needless to say, Tre is your typical know it all (kinda like his Dad). Most of the times, the encyclopedia of Tre is amusing; it’s fun to see how his little brain formulates ideas and attempts to push his believes on you. However, when the little guy transforms into Mad Scientist Tre, it can become very annoying, very quickly. Scientist Tre loves performing experiments to prove his hypothesis. Experiments such as: pouring orange juice in a cup of milk because it’ll most definitely make a rainbow, which means a leprechaun and pot of gold will soon follow. Anyone wanna take a guess at what he had for breakfast that day? As you can imagine, the resulting concoction ended up in the drain, and there was no little green leprechaun there to supplement the purchase of more orange juice.

Deal with one or two of these “learning experiences” per week and anyone would be looking for a little bit of payback, there’s only but so much that a person can take. Well I reached my breaking point and decided if the opportunity ever presented itself, I would teach this kid a lesson. Earlier this week, I got my shot! During dinner, Tre the scientist took it upon himself to rudely interupt Ty’s intriguing tale about recess kickball to make a proclamation: “you know guys, popcorn comes from corn so maybe if you heat my corn up in the microwave it’ll turn into popcorn if you press the popcorn button”. My moment had arrived, I finally had a way in, a way to knock this little guy down a peg by proving him wrong. I told him that might actually work, and I would heat his food up so we could see. The boy tells me, “I know it’ll work, as long as YOU make sure you press the popcorn button. Oh man, the devilish grin was shining bright inside of me; I knew I was gonna get him good.

Without Tre knowing, I made a detour to the pantry and grabbed a bag of popcorn. After heating his food up, I took the corn off his plate, removed the corn on the Cobb holders and placed them under the bag of un popped popcorn that was now sitting on his plate. People, the popcorn was still in the plastic wrap, this was going to be the greatest prank ever! Once I brought the plate back to Tre, he was amazed, he couldn’t believe that his corn actually transformed into popcorn. Nevermind the fact that the popcorn wasn’t popped, forget about the plastic wrap enclosing the fully folded bag. To Tre, those little things known as facts didn’t matter. As far as he was concerned, his plate left with an ear of corn and came back with popcorn. Who cares what form it was in, he had struck scientific gold. He went on and on all night about corn this, popcorn that. After a while, I thought he was merely playing along to strip me of my “gotcha” moment. Boy was I wrong.

Last night we had corn again for dinner and it was a disaster. I know, I know, corn twice in one week? Well hey, it’s the only vegetable that the boy will eat, so if eating corn everyday means he’ll be healthy, it’s what we’ll do. During dinner Tre informs Fefe that his food is cold and she should heat it up with the popcorn button. Fefe explains that my prank was a joke and he in fact did not have popcorn that was created from corn. Tre shoots her a glance as if her collegiate credentials don’t qualify her to challenge his authority and says “well just try it and let’s see”. After heating up his food and returning a plate still containing corn, Tre disappointedly informs us that he cannot eat his corn. When questioned why, he lets us know that this is obviously not real corn since it didn’t turn into popcorn and he doesn’t like fake corn because it doesn’t taste good. Smh, way to go Dad! My simple prank may have jeopardized Tre’s only hope at eating a balanced meal.

Can you think of a lie your parents told you that you didn’t realize until much much later?

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Comments (4)

LOL, this was a pretty funny post. At first I thought Tre was pulling your leg and going along with your joke as well; but then he kept going and going and going on and on about how the corn on the cob really turned into popcorn. He was so proud that his theory actually worked. I think it’s going to take a lot of convincing on our part for him to realize you played a joke on him, lol.

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Ha Ha Ha! That’s what you get for trying to pull a prank on him! You tried to knock him down a peg, well it looks like he knocked your down a whole ladder! Lol! He is sooo smart, I wonder if he really is only 5 yrs old. This post goes in the top ten funniest posts for me. Now he won’t eat corn! That was the only vegetable he would eat. Yes Keith, Great job!

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Wait just a minute, I see what happened here…

Tre took your prank, and fired it right back at you!! You THOUGHT you were pulling one over on him, all the while he was setting you up to not have to eat his corn!!

Man, you better be careful. He’s going to keep you on your toes!!
The Father of Five´s last blog post ..An Unattainable Dream

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Tre may be onto something. If I can create a device that turns regular corn into popcorn, and I will have reign over every child on earth and finally TAKE OVER THE WOORLD!!

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