Womb Envy


Posted by Keith | Posted in Family, Prenatal, Tre | Posted on 11-12-2012

Womb Service

Baby Guppy is now in her 29th week of fetal development and sadly, I have to admit that sibling rivalry is already brewing.  How can this be, the baby hasn’t even got here yet, but somehow fighting, bickering, and jealousy has started to take form?  In my best Tre impression “WHAT THA!!!” Luckily for us, Tre hasn’t attempted to utilize his superb Ninja Turtle skills and karate chop Fefe’s belly yet, but I’m unsure of how many days we have left until it comes to that.  To be fair, he isn’t totally to blame; Baby Guppy antagonizes him ALL THE TIME!!!  She’s mischievous, resentful, stubborn, and downright mean (sound like anyone you know).  If womb Baby Guppy is any indication of what earth Baby Guppy is going to be like, we are in for a world of trouble.  Most people envision their unborn children as little angels, I foresee Baby Guppy as a little angel as well; one without the halo, wings, and heavenly glow.


For the longest time, I was convinced that Baby Guppy didn’t particularly care for me very much; in fact, I was under the impression that she purposely did things just to spite me.  Since that time, we’ve actually grown a little closer, mostly due to the fact that she has turned her hateful eye away from me and towards Tre.  It all started a few months ago when Fefe started feeling the first few kicks.  I quickly dismissed them as the bubble guts and told Fefe to utilize the bathroom if she needed too.  Apparently, Baby Guppy didn’t take too kindly to me joking about her futile attempts to make contact with the outside world and decided to hold a grudge against me.  For months, Fefe would say “Hey, the baby is kicking, come feel” as soon as I would put my hand to her belly, all movement would cease.  I desperately wanted to feel the baby kick, it’s one of the few connections that us fathers have with our kids before they are born. 


But alas, Baby Guppy is a very spiteful individual and ensured vengeance would be hers by refusing to let me feel her kick.  But then she took it a step further, she started kicking me in my back.  Seriously, she would wait until Fefe and I went to bed and the moment Fefe turned to lay on my back, Baby Guppy would start putting on her best Lui Kang impression.  I’m talking roundhouse kicks, bicycle kicks, flying kicks, it was as if she had a Sega Genesis controller in there with her.  I would literally feel these little nudges in my back and at first I thought it was Fefe trying to be funny, when I realized it was actually Baby Guppy, I got excited; wow, she’s trying to make contact with me, I thought to myself.  But every freaking time that I would turn around and try to feel the kick with my hand, they’d magically stop.  The instant Fefe returned to lying on my back, the kicks would start again.  I learned that this was just another vicious plot in Baby Guppy’s revenge.


She didn’t allow me to feel a kick that wasn’t back related until our trip to Disney World; this was about 2 months after agonizing back pain.  It was also around the time that she decided to make her presence known to Tre, basically informing him that there’s a new kid in town and it’s about time he moved over to make room, literally.  Tre is very fond of cuddling up with Fefe to watch movies, laying on her lap when he’s tired, getting extra-long hugs when he doesn’t feel good; you know, typical preschooler stuff.  Apparently, Baby Guppy is already experiencing some issues in the “sharing” department, because she refuses to allow Tre to get close to “their” Mommy.  For the past month, whenever Tre lays on Fefe’s belly, he gets a stern kick to the head.  At first he thought it was cute, and was rather intrigued by getting kicked by his baby sister; but now those kicks are becoming stronger and Tre is quickly reaching his tipping point.  Yesterday he wasn’t feeling too good and laid on Fefe, 2 seconds later he got kicked.  Tre got upset and asked why she always kicks him and that he thinks she should stop because you’re not supposed to kick people.  He continued on to say that if Baby Guppy doesn’t stop kicking him, he will tell Daddy and she’s going to get in trouble and have to stay in her room and not play with any toys.  Poor Tre, he is so oblivious to what the first few months of life for a baby consists of.


So before our third child even enters this world, we have already dealt with sibling rivalry, tattle telling, spitefulness, physical violence, and jealousy.  What in the world are we going to do when she actually arrives?  I see things becoming extremely interesting when our baby gets here.  Oh and what about Ty?  He wasn’t heavily featured in this story; that’s because he’s been sitting on the sidelines feet kicked up enjoying the show.  I see the little twinkle in his eye with every WWE legdrop that connects with Tre’s head.  After years of torment at the heads of his little brother, Ty is finally on the outside looking in and truly reaping the benefits of the old saying Karma’s A B****.  If there’s any truth to that saying, Tre surely is in for a world full of hurt!


Comments (5)

LOL, great post!!! Sorry it took 2 months for you to finally be able to feel a kick with your hand. She really loves your back & that’s going to be a problem b/c I love sleeping on your back lol. Poor Tre doesn’t even know what to expect but at least he is still happy about having a sister.


I can’t wait till she is born. FeFe will FINALLY have another female in the house of men! She is setting things straight right away. She is letting you all know that she is the little princess and will be treated as so. Tre certainly doesn’t have a clue that his life is about to be turned upsdie down in a few short months. Ty, what kind of popcorn are you eating as you watch it all unfold? Ha Ha


CeCe is right…. She will be the little princess of the house, and while they may have their “moments” – those boys will be Baby Guppy’s big brothers and will be there to protect her when the the time comes. Trust me!

My sis and I had our fair share of “moments” – but when it came down to it – and someone needed to “lay down the law” for a couple of fellers who did not know how to treat a girl respectfully, I was there to “show them the way of their errors”…
The Father of Five´s last blog post ..Turn Your Head and Cough


This is too funny. Baby Guppy has to make her presence known with all those men in the house. Poor Tre, he will soon learn that Ty will be his greatest ally.


I have to step outta character for this one. I’m mad at your description of Kayla son! She’s gonna finally bring peace between the boys…because they are soon gonna realize they have to band together to survive living with her. I have a little sister, I know.

Damn, Tre is gonna have middle child syndrome. And he’s violent? And he’s smart???? He’s gonna end up nuking the moon. Don’t believe me, just watch…


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