Well we’ve finally come to the end of the road in our “I’m Old, I’m Proud, and I’ll Shout It Loud” series. Kinda funny how the name of the series keeps changing the further we get into it isn’t it? Must be the Alzheimer’s setting in. If you missed the first two entries in the “I’m An Old Fart” series (see, it just happened again), I’d recommend going to check them out here and here. To close out the series, we’ll be discussing one of America’s favorite pastimes: the amusement park! The amusement park is close to nearly all of our hearts, there’s something for everyone right? Between the roller coasters, games, food, shows, and water rides, there’s something for all of us to love at the amusement park right?
Welcome to post #2 in the “I’m Old & I Know It” series. Today we’ll be focusing on a group of individuals that are the bane of my existence. When I say bane, I mean I DESPISE THEM; you can tell that I’m passionate about this one, I did just use all caps ya know! I can’t stand “these people” so much that they are beginning to plague my dreams at night. It’s so bad that when I see them in an establishment that I’m frequenting, my first response is to immediately make a mental note of the nearest manager’s location. That’s because I need to know exactly where I’m heading when it’s time to make a swift and speedy dash in their direction to go tattlesnitch complain (ah yes, complain, that sounds dignified enough).
This sounds like a good spot for a brief break so we can take a quick tally: let’s see, so far I’ve admitted to having nightmares about certain people, activity seeking out management, and “complaining” on a regular basis. All that and I haven’t even mentioned who exactly it is that I can’t stand. I’d definitely say this equates to 3 counts of old behavior. If you don’t agree, then maybe the fact that my blood pressure raises more than a few points every time I encounter teenagers, will solidify my oldness in your minds.
So there have been a few events that have occurred in the past couple of weeks that got me thinking about some aspects of my life. The more thought that I put into it, the faster it began to set in that more than likely, my thoughts were actually true. Once I accepted the fact that there was no escaping this very real phenomenon that had suddenly begun overtaking me, I decided that I should probably share it with you guys. You know, kinda open up a little, and discuss my issues with a support system, that kind of thing. But then I started thinking, if I reveal this drastic discovery, how will my readers react? Will they still love me? Will they forever read my words with a judging eye from this day forward? I was totally ready to chicken out; until I had a conversation earlier today with a good buddy, in which it became perfectly clear that I could no longer hide this from the world, because more than likely they already know! That conversation is below:
Me: “You know, it’s been really difficult to find time to write blog posts recently. I just can’t seem to squeeze in the time I need”
Good Buddy: Can’t you use Siri and just speak your blogs to her? That should save you some time.
Me: Man, I really don’t like Siri; it’d end up being more heartache than anything.
Good Buddy: Yeah, probably not a good idea since Siri’s a smart ass. Your blogging would be like…. Keith: “Siri, take a note: Ty just came in wearing skinny jeans” Siri: “Should I place ‘Just For Men’ on your shopping list?”
Toy Review: IT’S NERF OR NOTHING!!!! That slogan dominated the nearly a decade of my childhood. As a kid, Nerf toys transformed you from a scrawny little child to a lean mean battling machine. Front lawns became battlefields, living rooms turned into gladiator arenas; there was no limit to the fun and excitement that Nerf could bring to the table. Even now, 20 some odd years later, Nerf is still bringing the heat and providing hours of entertainment to kids everywhere. That’s why today’s post is a very exciting one for me to write; anytime a company can adapt their products to span 20+ years and still remain relevant is an extraordinary feat.
But we’re not here to review Nerf as a company, today, we’re talking about one of their products specifically, and that product is the Nerf Stampede ECS; and what a product it is! This toy is a beast, I mean that literally! I was genuinely afraid to go up against this thing in a battle with Ty. Let’s review some of the specs briefly: It comes standard with a battle shield to help deflect oncoming (un)friendly fire, it also has a bipod that can be used while prone to line up the perfect shot, let’s not forget the 3 extended magazine clips which hold 18 darts each, and then theirs the express clip which gives you a quick 6 shot burst, not to mention everything is motorized! WOW, now those are some great stats, but does the Stampede’s functionality keep up with its impressive features?
The answer is an astounding YES! For the most part, I guess that’s not very astounding then is it? Seriously though, this toy performs very well. The darts fly surprisingly straight in rapid fire succession, the clips are easy to load and refill (although with 60 darts flying around, some fatigue may set in while retrieving them), and shooting is as simple as pressing a trigger. You can’t really beat that right? So why didn’t this thing get 5 stars you may be asking. There’s a few reasons why the Nerf Stampede didn’t score the coveted 5 star rating, but none of them were significant enough on their own to cause any serious issues.
My number one complaint with this toy is the fact that is requires 6 ‘D’ batteries for operation; that’s colossal! When you’re at war, you want to be lightweight and agile, lugging around 6 ‘D’ batteries doesn’t necessarily fit into that description. We’re already talking a pretty large Nerf gun here, so you can imagine what those batteries do to the weight of this thing. For older kids, it may not be much of any issue, but it definitely isn’t ideal. I guess having automatic firing comes at a price, our old school pump and shoot models weren’t heavy, but they couldn’t shoot 18 darts in a matter of seconds either. Another gripe I have is with the magazine clips, Nerf puts warning all over the clips that you are not to exceed 18 darts per clip, but there isn’t really an easy way to gauge how many darts you’ve loaded other than keeping count. I’m no math wiz, but I can count to 18 pretty effectively, but throw me into the middle of a battle and all of that goes out the window. You may find me crouched behind a tree using fingers and toes to ensure I don’t overstuff my magazine. There is also the rare occasion of jamming and dart damage, but these things are inherent with all models of this sort and the frequency that they are witnessed is so minimal that it’s definitely forgivable.
Given the tremendous benefit that this toy offers to those brave enough to yield it on the battlefield, the negatives don’t really hold that much weight (pun intended). So I definitely recommend it. I even liked it so much that I purchased one for myself. Now that’s saying something, anytime you can get an adult to purchase a toy from a company that they loved as a kid for their own personal use is really spectacular.
This toy is Ty tested and Daddy approved, go buy it now