Posted by Keith | Posted in Advice, School Projects, Ty | Posted on 13-12-2011
“He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice. SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN”
To most, those words may sound like a harmless line from a children’s Christmas song, but to others, especially those who have not been on their best behavior, those words can haunt dreams and ruin lives. Unfortunately, we have one of the “others” in our household this year. Ty is currently feeling the wrath of Santa’s greatest ability: the ability to single handedly transform a child’s behavior with 3 magic words, “The Naughty List”.
On Friday, Ty’s report card came home; while his scholastic categories were excellent, his behavioral ones were not up to par. This isn’t new news to us, as we’ve been dealing with behavior issues from him all year long. He’s not listening in class, having trouble following directions, and isn’t obeying the rules. It’s such a drastic change from last year; in kindergarten, he was the model student. This year, not so much, it’s as if he has gone all Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde on us. He’s Jekyll at home, and Hyde in school. My expert clinical opinion on the matter is that Hyde thrives on attention and uses it as a source to bring his character traits to the forefront. Apparently, Ty is very popular in his class this year and most of the kids look up to him; hence the continued emergence of Hyde.
Popular or not, one thing I refuse to tolerate is inappropriate behavior in school. Our kids have a pretty good life and their only end of the bargain to uphold is to do well in school. If they drop the ball on this, the gavel of Justice will reign down with the force of Judge William Adams. Okay sorry, bad analogy, not funny, let’s move on. We have tried many things to curb his need to impress his friends (which for some reason he feels can only be done by misbehaving). Talks upon talks have yielded subpar results, removing television, gaming, and toy privileges have been met with mediocre success. We’ve even gone as far as sending him to school in his play clothes and sneakers. Since he puts such a high value on his appearance when it comes to school, we thought this would be the perfect solution. But alas, the misbehavior continued! The issues subsides for a short period of time, then it rears its ugly head again.
So this time when we received the report card informing us of his continued inappropriate behavior, I took it personal. I set out on a personal crusade to set this boy straight, even if it took everything I had! What do most pioneers do when seeking success? Rely on the resources of others of course; remember, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know and I just happen to be close personal friends with Santa. I decided that it was time to bring my relationship with the big homie in red to the forefront. I have very high values; however, fortunately for me, bribing my child with a fictional holiday character wasn’t written into my moral code. So I pulled the Santa card. I’m not proud of it, it’s not something I’ll write about in my New York Times best selling memoirs, but hey, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
There was pure pandemonium in the house as I spoke dictation to myself while writing the note to Santa. I ensured Ty heard every carefully picked word, so that he could feel the real impact of what was happening. Santa was informed of Ty’s repeated misbehavior and of his broken promises. A strong recommendation was made to move Ty to the naughty list and revoke any presents that were due to him on Christmas. The tears flowed, the pleas were voiced, but it was too late. Ty was going to suffer the consequences of his actions, and Santa was the executioner. I did slip a clause in the letter, which gave Ty a way out, a chance to redeem himself before Christmas. I let Santa know that I would be sending him another letter and ask him to move Ty back to the good list if and only if Ty could follow the rules at school like he is suppose to.
This was of little comfort to Ty at this point. As far as he was concerned he was moments away from being on the naughty list and his Christmas was doomed. After the tears dried, we sat down and explained how Ty could take the future of Christmas into his own hands and redeem himself. We’ll see if he actually does or not.
I know that the threat of Christmas isn’t the best way to go, and ultimately I’ll have to put up (shut up isn’t an option) and withhold Christmas gifts if things don’t turn around. Because what good is an empty threat? I’ve pulled my trump card and if it comes to it, I’ll lay it down on the table with a big thud. Hopefully, I won’t have to.
What are some other ways of modifying a child’s behavior in school that have been effective for you? What do you do when your child’s need for peer attention outgrows his rationale thinking ability to do what he knows is right? Weigh in with you hints and tips…you can even call it a Christmas gift if you like, and forget about that Maserati you were planning to send.
Check back tomorrow for part 2 of this story which features Tre and his own special form of discipline for Ty and his misbehavior.
Well, I don’t necessarily think that your strategy was a bad one for his age, as long as you’re willing to follow through on withholding the gifts from Santa!
That being said, I think you should make a concerted effort to try and “catch him being good” and compliment him every time he’s got good behavior going on. Work with the teacher and find out if she’s willing to chat daily this week before vacation begins, about how he’s doing.
It’s a tough spot to be in, having to discipline a kid for less-than-desirable behavior at school since you’re not there…maybe talk with him every night at dinner about how his day went, and compliment him THEN on the positives that he tells you.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed for him that he gets off the Naughty List!
Melisa´s last [type] ..Suburban Scrawl Drives A Chevy Suburban
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Fefe Reply:
December 13th, 2011 at 10:32 am
@Melisa, We have talked to the teacher a couple of times and she is going to start a sticker chart at school. Then send it to us on Friday’s. Hopefully his behavior will be better. We already sit down at dinner and ask him about his day. Sometimes it’s like pulling teeth and nail to get him to talk about his day. I just don’t understand the dramatic change from last year.
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[...] « The Naughty List (Part 1) [...]
Wait, so at home he’s good and at school he’s a TINY bit mischievous??? Hmmm, that does sound like trouble. He’s prolly gonna grow up to be a scientist and write a blog about being a father -_-
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