So I started this blog post while I was in the process of drinking some fine, fine 5 times distilled vodka (read: bottom shelf) and watching my Lakers in the NBA playoffs. Needless to say as the game went on, the drinks became fewer and the actual blogging diminished considerably. Somehow in between the time of the final whistle in that game and what is now 1am, I forgot about my half finished blog post all together. I guess that’s what happens when your team loses, you sit around with you buddies, drink even more, and talk about how you could have done so much better had you been on the court. At that point, alcohol as taken over all logical thinking and you are no longer speaking rational comments. With that said, today’s post is about Flat Stanley: a real boy who was flattened by a bulletin board. You see, see how that works, I drunk my sorrows of my team losing away and now I’m discussing a boy who was flattened by a bulletin board, smh.
Last week Ty had to submit his first school project, and I must say I was pleasantly surprised at how great it turned out. I have to admit, I was a little saddened by the fact that I wouldn’t be there to assist him, but my overly gorgeous, extremely wonderful, one of a kind wife (advertisement paid for by supporters of Fefe) made sure I was able to play an active roll in Ty’s first project. Now that the project is over and has been submitted, I’m actually glad that I wasn’t there to participate. You see, I have a bit of a problem with being a team player; I typically end up taking over & performing the task myself instead of directing and advising. It’s something that I’m working on & will hopefully have under control for the next project. Part of my rehabilitation has been to examine and evaluate the root cause of my problem. In doing so, I’ve found one and only one reason for my ruthless tendency to hijack the projects and activities of others. That one reason is my father!!! Yes folks, apparently I have Daddy issues.
Posted by Keith | Posted in Advice, Play Stories, Ty | Posted on 18-04-2011
From the look of the picture above, I guess it’s pretty safe to say that Ty lost this one. I really wish that I could tell you guys that this was an epic battle for the ages, complete with a training montage, Rocky Balboa style; but alas, I can’t. This thing was over before it even got started, I’m talking split second, one hitter quitter, wam bam thank you Ma’am. Looking at that picture, all I can think is, why my boy? What could I have done differently to protect him? The answer to those questions is staring me right in the face; I should have stopped this along time ago.
I honestly wanted to get this post done and completed yesterday, really I did. But due to unforeseen circumstances, that wasn’t possible. Okay, maybe the circumstances were foreseen. Maybe I knew I’d be getting drunk beyond belief, partying until the wee hours of the morning, and partaking in all types of unscrupulous activities, which required days of recovery time. Okay, so it wasn’t that bad, but when you get to be my age (33yrs old), your body just doesn’t allow you to party like the good ole days. If you’re wondering where I got the age of 33 from, it was derived from an age-old formula that us parents call Child Aging Compound Interest or C.A.C.I. for short. You basically add up the ages of all of your kids, then divide by the number of children (because once you have more than one, leveraging comes into play) and then add that number to your current age. Now let’s see if DFB has any math wiz readers…who can tell me my true age??? Anyway, let’s get to the meat and potatoes of this post; my freaking birthday!!!! Well, it actually starts before my birthday, because Tre had a few funny antics to share while picking out my present.
Posted by Keith | Posted in Activities, Family, Relocating | Posted on 05-04-2011
As you guys know, the main factor behind my family’s separation is a suitable living situation for the entire clan. Tre is a terrorist who I wouldn’t set free in my worst enemy’s domicile, let alone my best friend’s. Therefore, it has been my sole mission to find a home & find one quickly. Since I’ve been out in Minneapolis, a lot of my free time has been consumed with searching for a new home. If I’m not out viewing homes, I’m online searching for new ones to view the next day. Which is a big part of the reason that the posts here haven’t been as plentiful as in months past. I’ve never hunted live game before, but I’d imagine it’s filled with many ups and downs and disappointments as well as achievements. I never took the “hunting” portion of my adventure literally but as I continue on this journey, I can definitely see the similarities.
Posted by Keith | Posted in Family, Fefe, Relocating | Posted on 01-04-2011
While I’m out here in Minneapolis away from my family, some may think that I’m living the good life: no pestering kids, no nagging wife (sorry Fefe), limited responsibilities. You would think that for a guy who’s been tied to a ball & chain for a few years that a bit of “me” time would be well welcomed. You’d be wrong!!! Yeah, I do get to hang out til the wee hours of the night, I get to go to a restaurant without feeling as though I’m plopping down a mortgage payment to cover dinner, and I get unlimited uninterrupted nights of sleep. All that’s fine and dandy, but you guys are forgetting a few very important things. Things that no man should be forced to deal with, things that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy! Have I built up the suspense enough?