Daddy's Fish BowlA Clear View Of A Father's Family Experiences

You know the old saying “sleep is the cousin of death?” Well apparently, Tre heard this saying and is doing all he can to avoid any family member of that pesky noun “death”. Lately, the boy has been fighting his sleep as if it were a punching bag and he was Muhammad Ali.  Most of the things contributing to his abrasion to night night time are internal factors; things such as curiosity, nosiness, and an over active imagination. However, there are also external factors that played a part in the demise of this young toddler’s sleeping habits. Those external factors were contributed by none other than yours truly!  Yes, I made a fatal mistake at bedtime and instead of regulating my son’s sleep pattern, I hindered it. I’m not proud of it, but I do stand by my actions.

Tre is your typical 3 yr old. He HATES going to bed. Whether it is for a nap, bed time, or a “let’s see who can sleep the longest” contest, he despises it. I honestly don’t know why we purchased a race car bed for him, since he spends more time pretending to drive his bed than actually sleeping in it. Let’s take a look at the facts, let’s look deep down at the many tactics that this kid deploys in an attempt to gain a few extra minutes of awake time. All bets are off when it comes to Tre and fighting sleep, nothing is sacred and the only rule is, there are no rules!

Exhibit A: The Never Ending Hunger – A mere three days ago during bedtime, Tre went to his room without any objection.  This should have been a clue that he had something up his sleeve.  After about 20 minutes in his bed, he comes downstairs and starts to cry.  We ask what’s wrong and he tells us that he is hungry.  The way this kid was crying, you would have thought we had been starving him for the past few days.  Seeing as how he had just eaten a pretty hefty dinner, we could tell that this was an obvious ploy to avoid bedtime.  Nonetheless, we played along and Fefe made him a PB&J sandwich, edges cut off, just how he likes it.  Tre was downstairs “eating” for nearly 40 minutes and rather than explain to you, I’ll just show you how much food he consumed, smh.

It took 40 mins for this tiny bite?

Exhibit B:  The Movie Marathon – Sometime last week, we were having a family movie night and Toy Story 3 was the kid tested, parent approved choice for the night (I’ve always wanted to throw that slogan into one of these posts).  We had the popcorn popped, drinks poured, and an electric blanket warming us up.  It was all set to be a nice family evening.  Tre had other plans however, he was extremely tired since he refused to nap earlier that day, so he was doing any and everything he could to keep moving.  He knew, as did we, that if he sat still and watched the movie, sleep was inevitable.  Tre kept getting up, going to the bathroom, playing with toys, dropping popcorn, chasing our dog tank.  He was doing pretty much everything except watching the movie.  Fefe and I decided that enough was enough and told Tre it was time for bed.  He got so upset, tears started flowing and cries were hollered.  He pleaded with us to stay up; his reasoning was that he NEEDED to watch that Toy Story movie.  He insisted that watching this movie was a serious need, which if unmet would most certainly lead to his demise.

With the evidence just presented, you would think that as a father, I would do any and everything in my power to diffuse his reluctance for sleep, rather than add to it. Well, with me, as you’ll learn, I rarely take the road most travelled & tend to miss the obvious at times.  Our bedtime ritual consists of reading a bedtime story, as a way to calm down from all of the days excitement.  For the past few MONTHS, that bedtime story has been “Jack & The Beanstalk”.  I understand the purpose is to reduce excitement at bedtime, but come on, how much more boring can you get, reading the same book every night for months on end.  So last week, I decided to try something different, I pleaded with (and bribed) Tre for the opportunity to read another book.  He granted my wish and chose the “Three Little Pigs”.  This was my chance; finally, I could potentially break the shackles placed on me by Jack and his stupid beanstalk.  I knew that I had to make this book ROCK, it had to be totally awesome if it were to stand even a shimmer of a chance against the great Jack.  Well I poured my heart and soul into that book; I think you’d be hard pressed to ever find a more enthusiastic rendition of the Three Little Pigs than the one I gave to Tre.  Unfortunately, it was a bit too enthusiastic.

Tre loved the book and was genuinely into it.  He asked questions, he wanted to know what happened next, he had a smile on his face and thanked me for reading it to him.  I walked out of that room with my head held high, I did it, I had won, Jack could forever be retired now.  As I returned downstairs, Fefe says: “Dude, what got into you while reading that book?”  We laughed and went on about our night.  A few hours later, Tre woke up crying hysterically, it was too the point that we couldn’t even make out what he was saying.  Fefe brought him downstairs and sat him on the couch, we didn’t know if he was hurt, sick, or what.  The type of cries he exhibited were very unusual.  We both questioned him as if he were a suspect in a high profile criminal case, after a few minutes the interrogation was over, as our suspect broke his silence.  He uttered 6 muffled words that we could barely make out.  We got in very close and asked him to repeat it, this time it was clear, very clear what the problem was.  Fefe looked at me with disgust and I just held my head low.  Tre’s 6 words: HE GONNA BLOW MY HOUSE DOWN…