Okay DFB family, time for a serious topic here at the bowl. As I write this, I have my vodka & cranberry sitting next to the computer; attempting to recover from the events that just took place in my household. Timeout, I know you may be thinking how dare he bring up a serious topic while under the influence? My response: some of the greatest ideas known to man were created while in a bar & written on a cocktail napkin! I’ve even included a reference. (editor’s note: the events actually took place 2 nights ago. I guess there was more vodka than cranberry in that drink and I didn’t get a chance to finish the post).
So let’s get to it. Fefe & I just had a fight (gasp!!!), better yet; let’s call it a “debate”. Otherwise you guys won’t think we’re the perfect family. This debate was regarding my level of involvement during the children’s bedtime. She got upset because I didn’t put a glass of milk in the fridge as she asked, while she was putting the kids to bed. Last I checked, a glass of milk could remain at room temperature for a couple of hrs before spoiling, so I didn’t think it was a big deal. If you let her tell it, there was more to the “debate” than a glass of milk, but hey, it’s my blog, my voice, so I can skew the story anyway I please!!! Anyway, our “debate” led me to think about the roles and duties of a stay at home mom/dad verses those of their working parent counterpart.
I strongly believe that the job of a stay at home parent is just as strenuous and mentally challenging as one of a working professional. Therefore, I feel that when I come home from work, I should provide some relieve to Fefe’s duties. A typical weekday evening in our home goes as follows: after getting home, I’ll play with the boys while Fefe finishes dinner. We’ll sit down and eat as a family, afterwards we’ll do some type of activity together where both Fefe and I contribute. Once the family activity is complete, Fefe usually administrates baths, etc and get the kids to bed. During this time, I get a moment of relaxation, to unwind from the day’s events. I am always accessible during this time and my assistance is readily available whenever requested. But do I do enough?
There are several sides to this argument and I’d like to hear all of your different points of view. Some may say that staying with a child all day and entertaining them is tough; when the working parent comes home, they should take over all of the duties to give the stay at home parent a break. On the flip side, some may feel that by staying home, the parent is in a more comfortable environment and allowed to perform certain leisure activities throughout the day, including naps from time to time; whereas the working parent is not afforded such luxuries while on the job. Therefore, the stay at home parent should continue working even when their partner comes home, so they can take it easy.
I feel as though whether you are out working or at home taking care of the kids, you are still doing a job. The stay at home parent may “like” their job a bit more, but hey it’s still work. Since both parents are working throughout the day, neither of their jobs should end in the evening in my opinion. I try to do this by keeping the kids occupied as soon as I get home, giving her the opportunity to finish dinner uninterrupted. But I question if my willingness to let Fefe step up and handle the bedtime activities is the correct choice. Maybe she shouldn’t have to carry the load of bedtime alone.
What are your thoughts? Please share…