Daddy's Fish BowlA Clear View Of A Father's Family Experiences

Til Death Do Us Part...Maybe Not

Have you ever been accused of something that you know deep down in your heart, you didn’t do?  Have you tried to explain your side of the story, offering explanations, justifications, and just down right sound logic to no avail?  Only to have your accuser look at you with a condemning look that can make the most innocent man feel guilty.  If you have experienced these things, then you know exactly what I went through last night.  It was a horrible experience; it is over now, although the look on her face was one of distrust after our dialog was finished.  I don’t know where we stand after this, but one thing is for sure: I love my wife and would never break our sacred vows by cheating on her.

My accuser was not my wife, (go ahead, breathe your sigh of relieve, I’ll wait) it was none other than the cashier at our local grocery store.  Hmmm, you may take that to mean that the cashier accused me of cheating with her, let me hurry up and get to the story before you guys sign us up for one of those daytime talk shows to work out our problems.   As some of you may recall, our track record with contraceptives has not been one of an Olympic gold winner; so, as we are in between birth control methods at the moment, we have been utilizing condoms until we decided to actively pursue conceiving another child.  Let me just get this out of the way now, IT SUCKS, but it sure beats having another crumb snatcher running around that we aren’t completely ready for.  Let’s just call it a necessary evil.  Back to the story; so I’m a married guy in a grocery store right before closing, attempting to buy condoms.  Do you see where this is going?

As I walk thru the aisles, I was unable to locate the condoms anywhere, so I seek out help.  That help just happens to come from a lady who’s probably in her early 40’s, who has rung up my purchases on multiple occasions.  Some of those occasions, while my wife was standing next to me.  When I asked her where the condoms were, I don’t think she recognized me, as she pointed in the direction of aisle 6, barely looking up from counting her till.  I returned to aisle 6 as she directed and then noticed that they were all out of condoms, really, on a Tuesday? I always thought Friday was the freakiest day of the week.  At any rate, I returned to her register with a few other items and she asked me if I was able to locate them.  This is where the fun begins.

I tell her they were all out, and make a joke about there must be a lot of busy people in our neighborhood this week.  While laughing at my joke, she notices my wedding ring and her laughter went away so quickly, I literally thought someone had pressed her internal mute button.  The cashier then says, “mmmh, you’re married, what are you out here buying condoms for” with a look of disgust.  I think she may have recognized me as a regular at this point and maybe she even remembered my wife.  Now I’m not one to judge, but based on her reaction, I’d say this woman has had some serious issues with fidelity in the past.  After she made her comment, I realized how a married man buying condoms late at night could be viewed as suspicious.  I explained they my wife and I just aren’t trying to have any kids right now, hence the condoms.  This lady’s body language all but said “fool, do I look like I was born yesterday?” She gave a half smile and continued to ring up my items.  I guess the super sleuth inside of her was too much to suppress because out of nowhere she says “ya’ll don’t use no birth control?” in a I know you’re lying and your story is bullshit kind of tone.  Keeping my cool, because it was none of her business, I explained that we were in between birth control methods.  She gave me another one of those looks like I had guilty written all over my face.  To this woman, I will probably forever be labeled as a low down dirty cheating dog.  But to those that know me, that statement couldn’t be any further away from the truth.  I find it funny that I was condemned by this cashier, merely because I was performing an action outside of the typical realm of a husband.  Thinking back though, I can’t really blame her, I would have labeled myself a cheater as well.

*no adultery was committed during the writing of this post, lol*