Daddy's Fish BowlA Clear View Of A Father's Family Experiences

Me & My Babies Before I Had Real Babies

For the past three years, something has been missing in my life.  I’ve tried to tuck it away and forget my secret desires, but all of that hard work was ruined today; because for the first time in over three years, I rode a motorcycle.  The adrenaline is still pumping through my body as I type; I literally just got off of the sexy beast less than 30 minutes ago.  It was great, the wind was blowing, I felt as if I was one with the road, and felt alive.  As I sat down to write a blog post for your reading pleasure, I found myself with a horrible case of writer’s block.  Not because I had nothing to say, or because I couldn’t put the witty words together to create a humorous tale for you guys;  but because all I could think about was the thrill that I had just received from revving the engine on that motorcycle.  Then, just like that, it hit me; something inside me said “hey stupid, the kids are the reason that you got rid of your bike, talk about that”.  When those little voices (notice the pluralization) inside of my head command, I obey.  So let’s talk about the sacrifice and maturity that come along with parenthood.

I’ve been infatuated with motorcycles for as long as I can remember.  The speed, the loud noises, the stylish bodies, it all intrigued me.  When I was about 7, my older cousin bought a moped.  Now at that time, I was too young to understand that this was nothing more than a go-kart on two wheels.  All I knew is that it looked like a motorcycle, sounded like a motorcycle, so therefore it must have been a motorcycle.  My cousin instantly became the coolest person in the history of cool.  I said to myself at that moment that I would have a bike as soon as I was old enough and then I too would become the coolest of the cool.

As you can see, a seed was planted when I was very young and over the years it grew and grew until I finally purchased a bike.  When I did, my entire world changed, I was invigorated, and the road was my playground.   So I got this bike and everything was going great, Fefe even enjoyed riding on the back. My boss at the time told me “If you find a woman that will let you put her on the back of that thing more than once, MARRY HER, she’s a keeper” Not sure his logic was 100% accurate, but nonetheless, here we are married and living happily.  Well what went wrong you may be asking, why did I get rid of the toy that I loved so much?  I went wrong, I went very very wrong.

After a year or so, the thrill of riding a bike had started to wear off.  I’m an adrenaline junkie and just riding wasn’t enough for me anymore; I needed a bigger rush, the next level was calling me.  I started doing stupid things, things like going 180mph on the highway, standing on the bike, and even considering doing a wheelie.  Now all of these things were absolutely amazing, some of the most exhilarating times that I’ve had in my life.  But then I found out that Tre was on his way into this world and I was quickly snapped back to reality.  My actions were not one of a responsible parent and thankfully those little voices started screaming that to me every time I hopped on the bike.  I was being reckless and irresponsible.  The thought of not seeing my son born due to a stupid thrill was enough for me to realize that there are more important things in life than the next big thrill.  So I calmed down and rode like I had some sense, however it was never the same.  As I rode, that itch to just let it rip was always there and it scared the living hell out of me. 

The fact that I wanted to go fast (Ricky Bobby voice) even though I was putting myself and therefore my family at risk was enough to show that I didn’t have the self control required to continue to enjoy my passion.  Immediately after, in the blink of an eye, I gave it up; no looking back, no second thoughts.  I’ve always missed it and today proved that to me more than ever.  But when I think back to my previous actions, I begin to doubt if a new bike is the right move for me and my family.  Maybe one day, but for now I’ll keep it 4 wheels on the ground.

So what are your thoughts?  Is there anything that you’ve given up because of parenthood?  Something that you’ve had to sacrifice to ensure a higher quality of life for your children?  I’d love to hear about it.