Contraceptives, We Hate You!

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Posted by Keith | Posted in Advice, Family, Fefe | Posted on 19-10-2009

This is gonna be a tough one to write; not so much because of myself, but more so for Fefe.  But she felt it was necessary, as did I, that we spread the word and express some valuable information regarding the IUD & pregnancy, that we’ve come across by being put in a not so ideal situation. In short, for those of you that found this post specifically for that information: yes, you can become pregnant with an IUD inserted AND yes, it can produce false negative results for your pregnancy test!!!  Now if you’d like to learn more read on, if not, I hope the information serves you well.  For my regular readers, don’t fret, there is a good story to be told here and although it is a difficult subject, I tried to make it somewhat entertaining. So here we go.

Fefe’s body and contraceptives have had a long going feud for the past few years.  Maybe I shouldn’t say feud, maybe I should just say “misunderstanding”.  It’s like they can play nice together for a year or two and then they get into an argument or something and all hell breaks loose, with the outcome being a brand new unplanned bundle of joy.  In the past, this massive “misunderstanding” between Fefe’s body and the contraceptives has happened not once (Ty), but twice (Tre).  Each time while using a different method that was supposedly 99.9999999% effective.  Okay, maybe not that many 9’s but still, you get the point.  How could something that is supposed to be so good at its job screw up two times in a row?  I thought lightning didn’t strike twice.  Well apparently it can strike twice, and can also strike a third time as well!

A little over 5 years ago, Fefe was on the patch (Ortho Evra) and things were peachy.  That is until one day when she went to get a prescription refill.  Before the good doctors refill your prescription, they administer a pregnancy test to ensure that you aren’t pregnant.  That’s because contraceptives and pregnancy are kind of on opposite ends of the spectrum and don’t play to nice together.  Well low and behold, the test came back positive and after the shock and confusion dissipated, plans for a new baby were being made.  Now I’m going to be honest, I truly thought that Fefe just screwed up somehow, that she didn’t put the patch on correctly, or forgot to take it off one week, I didn’t know what, but I knew it was her fault.  I mean come on, the thing is 99% effective “when used correctly” so what were the chances that she was in the 1%?  It had to be the “when used correctly” part that got her right? Well it took another “misunderstanding” to occur for me to find out that I was wrong, she truly was in the 1%.

After the patch mishap, it was decided that maybe the shot (Depo Provera) would probably be more suitable.  No user error involved, it lasts for 3 months, and it’s 99.7% effective.  I was able to come to grips with the fact that maybe we were actually 1 percenters, but there was no way in the world that we could be 0.3 percenters right? Wrong again, after a few years during one of those routine visits to get the shot administered, a pregnancy test was given and the results once again came back positive.  Now we’re both sitting here like WTF, seriously, like what are the odds? Really, I’m asking you, what the odds are because I can’t figure them out; I need a statistician to help me.  Well anyway, Tre was born and we were just relieved that both he and Ty were born healthy and fully functional, because I do know the odds of having healthy babies that were conceived in the presence of birth control aren’t always favorable.

Well that’s where the fairy tale ends and things start to go down hill.  After Tre was born, we ONCE AGAIN put our faith into contraceptives.  Silly us right, fool me once shame on you, ah forget it, you all know the saying.  So anyways, we decide this time to use the Mirena IUD, it’s again 99% effective and lasts for up to 5 years without any maintenance.  Also, it’s an actual device that is inserted inside to prevent pregnancy, unlike the patch and the shot which were hormonal only, so we figured it’d be something different that would actually work this time. WRONG WRONG WRONG! It worked for almost two years and then that “misunderstanding” between Fefe’s body and the contraceptives occurred again.  Only this time, it wasn’t simply a misunderstanding; it was something much more serious.

About a month ago, Fefe’s belly started getting a little larger, but we really thought nothing of it since she was actually trying to gain weight.  But she also started having some pain and irregular bleeding, so I suggested that she take a pregnancy test.  It came back negative, but I still wasn’t convinced so she made a doctors appointment just to be sure.  She went and had an ultrasound and there was no baby, the IUD was still in place so we carried on and chalked it up to being over cautious.  Fast forward a month and she’s feeling a bit queasy, and began having some of the other typical early pregnancy symptoms.  So once again, I’m like screw this dude take another test, once again negative.  Now, things just aren’t adding up to me, by this time we’ve gone through 4 pregnancy tests and an ultrasound and everything was negative.  But negative just felt like the wrong answer to both of us.  So I hit the net to see if the IUD could cause false negatives for home pregnancy tests and couldn’t find a DAMN thing to confirm my suspicion.  By this time, Fefe’s bleeding had continued and became considerably heavier so she made another appointment last week.  At that appointment she found out that she had indeed been pregnant and was having a miscarriage.

Wow, it was kind of surreal for me and saddening for Fefe.  The previous two times that this occurred, we were blessed with two beautiful baby boys and although it wasn’t planned, we had a choice and our choice turned out to definitely be a blessing.  But this time that choice was taken from us and the thing that angers me the most is there was no readily available information that could have helped prevent it.  Had we known that the IUD could actually produce false negatives for pregnancy tests, maybe we could have had it removed and saved a life.  We weren’t trying to have a child, didn’t know that Fefe was even pregnant and yet the loss still affects us.  We’re both fine now and are looking towards the future, but wanted to tell this story in hopes that it will one day be able to save another couple the trouble and misfortune that we’ve endured.

Comments (33)

Wow that’s sad to hear. I’m glad you guys are ok now. I guess I gotta go over to Twitter cuz I have some RTing to do.

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Keith Reply:

@Deborah, Thanks for the ReTweets! I think it got the word out to a lot more people than my current reach extends to.

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Thank you for sharing your experience with this, and I’m sorry to hear what happened. Very useful info.

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I share the same feelings as Deb and Ray. Thank you for sharing this experience and I’m glad you and Fefe are okay.

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Keith Reply:

@Elena, Elena & Ray, thank both of you, we definitely appreciate it.

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Wow, I’m so sorry this happened! I’m glad you shared it though; I’m sure it will help others because it’s really useful information. Take care, you two!
.-= Melisa with one S´s last blog ..Gone Gaga =-.

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Keith Reply:

@Melisa with one S, Thanks! I hope you’re right and the info proves to be useful to someone in a similar situation. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, especially if there’s a opportunity to prevent it.

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The only question we have now is should we try another contraceptive or just say forget them altogether? Its a kind of tough decision because if u haven’t notice my body is as fertile as a flower.

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Deborah Reply:

@Fefe, Yeah I don’t think you should put anymore false hope in contraceptives. I don’t know a solution though.
.-= Deborah´s last blog ..Music Video Monday – Super Junior – Sorry Sorry =-.

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Sorry to hear that… I think they make those results to be seem more effective than they actually are. I say no… if you tried three times without luck, its better to stay off of it for health reasons of course.

Wish you guys health and good luck.

-HeaVy
.-= HeaVy´s last blog ..10/03/09 SLU K.A.Psi SeduKtion Photos Are In The Gallery =-.

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Keith Reply:

@HeaVy, I think you’re right. I honestly believe that they somehow find a way to discount most of the ineffective results that they receive in order to boost the stats.

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This is unbelievable! The odds of 3 different, 90% preventative, contraceptives failing 3 times is jaw-dropping! I’m sorry to hear about your loss.

You do have two very handsome young boys. And you two are even more so blessed that you love each other and are married.

BTW- One of my friends got pregnant using condoms! Luckily she was already married.

Still, it’s better to use whatever you can. Better something than nothing.

Nothing’s 100% proof than abstinence. And even Mary got pregnant with Jesus lol. There’s always something huh!

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Keith Reply:

@Ainka, LOL @ there’s always something. Sad but true! Glad your friend was in a position that allowed her to take care of the situation in a good way.

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I am so sorry and saddened to hear about your loss.. Planned or not, it is still a loss, and will “leave a mark”.

When we were first married, we miscarried three (unplanned – but non-birth-controlled) pregnancies. I was sure that we were bound to never have any children of our own…

(My #1 is a “step-son” – but I do not even think of him that way. We met when he was 1, and he is approaching 22 years old now… He’s as much mine as any of ’em)

Anyway, after 3 miscarriages, we struck gold with pregnancies, and they have never been a problem since… #2, #3, then surprise #4, and surprise #5…

Watch your FB inbox… Sending you a message…
.-= Father of five´s last blog ..A Successful Hunt =-.

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Fefe Reply:

@Father of five, Sorry to hear about the three miscarriages. I have to absolutely agree with you on your statement “planned or not, it is still a loss, and will “leave a mark”.

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Keith Reply:

@Father of five, Wow, that’s quite a story. I’m sorry about the fact that you guys had to go through 3 miscarriages, but glad that it was able to turn around and produce so many great kids. Thanks for sharing, Fefe & I both greatly appreciate it.

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Oh, my goodness… How could I be so careless…

To Fefe.. Please accept our condolences… I don’t know if y’all are the praying sort, but our thoughts and prayers will be with your family as you progress through this…

Take care.
.-= Father of five´s last blog ..A Successful Hunt =-.

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Thanks everybody for your support, words and advice we really appreciate it. I hope by us sharing our story helps others.

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Hi Keith,

You blog entry serves as yet another powerful and heartbreaking example of the myriad myths around the efficacy and safety of many common/popular common birth control methods. We women trust, naturally, when doctors tell us these products are safe, and it is always another “high risk” patient who should be concerned — never us, until something happens and we personally suffer the side effects or our health is harmed. In case you and Fefe are looking for a safe an natural alternative, I cannot recommend highly enough NFP….it is natural, hormone-free, 100% safe and 99.3% reliable. After a rather harrowing experience using the NuvaRing I found the Lady-Comp ago http://www.naturallyforher.com/products/lady-comp and began using it for family planning. My husband and I love it. It is effective, efficient and side-effect free. I would never go back…

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Keith Reply:

@T. Mason, Thanks for the link and the info. We’ll be sure to check it out, especially since as of right now we have no idea what our next move will be.

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Keith and Fefe,

I am sorry to hear this sad news. I am thankful that you are ok, Fefe, and recognize the disbelief and disappointment and righteous anger that you are feeling and will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Adaire

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Keith Reply:

@Adaire, Thanks, your prayers are welcomed and definitely appreciated.

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I’m sorry this happened to both of u! Children are such a blessing. I think u should just forget about birth control and try to break the world record for having the most kids! lol….Just trying to make u laugh a little. But, seriously, your blog will open a lot of eyes and help a lot of young people out there who believe that birth control methods are always safe and effective. Just trust in God and believe that he has a plan for the two of u.

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Keith Reply:

@Ce, We’ll go for that record as soon as you move down to Raleigh! lol

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hi,
i’m sorry to hear about the loss of your child.
have you considered vasectomy as an alternative to contraception. it’s a very simple operation and can often be reversed, if necessary (50% success rate, according to the mayo clinic). it’s a lot less invasive than tubal ligation for women; especially if it’s a laparotomy procedure, which involves abdominal surgery.
both my father and a best friend have had the procedure with excellent results. there was no major surgery involved and no unplanned children.
all the best to you and your family.

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Keith Reply:

@john, that option is definitely on the table. But we’re sure that we want at least one more child so I’m a bit leery about going forward with it until that takes place. I honestly think that I would rather do this than have Fefe go through tubal ligation.

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Wow, it always takes a lot of courage to speak with strength about a huge loss like that. We’ve experienced it twice, and it was a major blow. Kudos to you for writing it out and putting on the web for others to read.

Many prayers to you and yours for your loss.

Cheers
.-= Derek´s last blog ..Review of Homebirth Dads Video =-.

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Keith Reply:

@Derek, Thanks for the encouragement. Reading about others that have gone through this and continued to push forward helps to ease the pain a bit. Fefe & I were talking about it this evening that the intent of this post was to inform, but we’ve found an added bonus and comfort in the openness of the readers.

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hi keith,
freeze some sperm, just in case.

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Ainka Reply:

@john, You can also freeze part of the womb too.. Weird but tru.. It’s still in the experimental stages.

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Keith and FeFe,
I’m very sorry to hear this happened. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Take care.
Aunt Lynette

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Keith and Fefe,
I just wanna thank u guys for sharing ur story. My heart and prayers go out to u. I too know how it feels to lose a child. U have provided very useful information that will help many in the present and future. So thank u once again. God bless

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Keith Reply:

@Tina, Hey Tina, just saw this comment. Thanks for your kind words and sharing your experience as well. Like I said, it’s comforting to know that we’re not alone in this.

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