Daddy's Fish BowlA Clear View Of A Father's Family Experiences

Possessive, jealous, demanding, these are all attributes that each of us could probably use to describe an ex lover.  If you can’t relate, maybe it’s time to take a look in the mirror, because that person may just be you.  As you’ve probably guessed, the above traits weren’t listed so that we could discuss one of my ex-girlfriends; nope, the main character in this tangled tale of jealousy is none other than Tre.  The little guy has staked his claim to each of us, but not collectively as a family unit.  He basically has it in his mind that we all BELONG to him and not to each other as a family typically operates.

Tre loves playing with his older brother, but when it comes to spending time with Mommy, Ty pretty much gets the shaft.  The boys can play together all day, but unfortunately, Tre won’t allow them to spend time with Mommy together.  After a long morning of playing with toys, fighting over toys, and tattling regarding toys, it was finally time to calm down and relax for a bit before sending the boys off for their naps.  So Fefe decided to play Tre’s favorite show, Mickey Mouse.  Tre wasn’t quite ready for play time to end, so he decided to opt out of sitting on the couch to watch the show and instead, sat on the floor with a few toys surrounding him.  Ty on the other hand, immediately went to the couch and sat next to Fefe.  Once Tre caught wind of this, it was all over, he quickly hopped up off the floor from his play area and ran over to the couch shouting “NO, NO, NO”.  No one knew what was going on until he reached the couch and proceeded to grab Ty’s shirt.  While yanking on Ty’s shirt he says “No, My Mommy” and pulls Ty off of the couch.  He didn’t just settle for getting Ty off of the couch either, he had to ensure that his brother was no longer in close proximity to HIS Mom.  After successfully dragging Ty away from the couch and into the kitchen, Tre runs back to the couch, sits next to Fefe, and begins singing the Mickey Mouse song as if he had done no wrong.

I felt bad for Ty, the poor kid had Fefe all to himself for 3 long years, that is until Tre arrived.  He had to accept the fact that he must share his Mom with his little brother, but is now on the verge of being pushed out all together.  Ty is so sweet, that if he’s not careful it may be a battle that he’ll lose.  After the fiasco occurred, he just returned from the kitchen and sat on the other end of the couch next to Tre.  He said that it was okay and he didn’t mind sharing with his little brother, so Tre could sit next to Mommy.  Very commendable indeed, but Tre is a bully and you have to take on a bully head on! I was thinking about giving them some boxing gloves and letting them fight it out, but decided that was a bit much.  We settled on putting Fefe in the middle and having each boy on the side of her.  Even then, Tre kept an eye on Ty to make sure he didn’t get too close.

Little did I know, I would soon be able to empathize with Ty.  Tre soon turned his attention to me; I was his next target, the next person standing in between him and his Mommy.  Fefe and I have to actually sneak around to hug each other, or give a simple kiss.  Tre will quickly shout “uh oh” if he witnesses a quick peck being exchanged.  Not to long ago, Fefe had a long and tiring day; when I came home from work, I found her in the kitchen and gave her a nice long hug.  Well it wasn’t as long as I had planned for. After about 30 seconds, I felt something pushing on my leg.  I looked down and Tre had forced himself in between us and started pushing us away from each other, while shouting his signature “NO, NO, NO”.  I felt like we were at a middle school dance and Tre was the teacher enforcing the 3 foot rule. 

We’ve recently been working with Tre to get him to gain a better understanding of the concept of sharing, but we didn’t know that we’d have to add family members to the scope of the lesson as well.