Daddy's Fish BowlA Clear View Of A Father's Family Experiences

Ty & My Silly Hair Pencil Man

As a Dad, I get the pleasure of witnessing the unique views of the world that children have.  I’m constantly trying to understand the mechanics of their thought process and how certain conclusions are formulated.  I honestly have to say that it’s one of the best parts of being a Daddy.  Observing their often misconstrued, but always amusing world outlook, can bring a smile to my face any day.  Last week was one of those times; I got to see first hand how this society works, from a kid’s perspective.  Apparently, in the eyes of a 4 year old, bribery can be used as the key to success for all of your troubles.

Now, we’re not talking about the “just got pulled over, offer the cops a few dollars” type of bribery; instead, we’re talking about bribery at its sweetest and purest form.  Although, now that I think about it, if Ty has mastered the art of bribery at this age, then maybe he’s going to grow up to be the greatest politician this country has ever seen, lol.  As a matter of fact, I know that he will.  Unlike most kids who try their hand at bribery, Ty didn’t stick to the small fries, he didn’t try to bribe Mommy & Daddy, nope he had his sights set high and took a stab at bribing my boss.  Hey, if you’re gonna do something, you might as well go for gold right?

We went to the library last week for arts and crafts day.  I was suppose to take the boys, but wasn’t able to leave work as early as I had planned.  Therefore, Fefe had to drive them to the event and I would meet them there.  I caught up to them before they reached the library and Fefe told Ty that I was behind them.  So he gets excited and starts waving out the window.  Since he was so happy to see me, I put on a bit of a show for him and zoomed by them going really fast.  Big mistake! It got Ty so riled up, he almost didn’t want to make any crafts when we got to the library.  One of his favorite movies is “The Fast & Furious” so he really gets a kick out of when I drive fast.  No, I’m not pulling a Vin Diesel with my kids in the car, but going 10mph faster than everyone else seems fast and furious to a child. 

Once we get to the library, Ty keeps talking about how my car is fast and Mommy’s car is slow.  When it’s time to start making the crafts, he says that his first one will be for me.  He works really fast, kind of rushing through it to complete my “silly hair pencil man” that’s pictured above.  I was thinking to my self why is he in such a hurry?  I thought maybe because he wanted to leave quickly so that he could ride in the fast car.  Well, I was wrong.  Ty rushed through his creation of my pencil man so that he could have enough time to make a real quality gift for my boss.  Wait a minute, hold up, so I get the crap job so that my boss can get a high quality production?  Why is my boss getting anything anyway?  That’s when he laid it on me; he explained that he had to make sure that the binoculars (pictured below) were extra special.  They had to be really nice so that my boss would like them.  I asked why did he want to give my boss a gift, and why was it so important that he liked it so much?  The kid tells me that if my boss likes his gift then he will give me days off from work.  I’m thinking to myself, awwww, how sweet, he wants his Dad to spend more time at home.  Then he continued and his true motives were revealed.  Ty explained that they usually go to the library during the day while I’m at work, so if my boss gave me days off then I would be able to go to the library with them during the day.  That way, he can ride with me to the library and Mommy and his little brother can ride in her slow car, because we can’t go really fast with Tre in the car.  Wow, you can’t fault his logic right?  But where did it come from, how did he get the notion that if he does something nice for my boss, then he is obligated to return the favor?

The Bribe: Brand New Binoculars

Well Ty actually knew what he was talking about, his little bribery scheme really worked.  I took the gift to my boss and explained the story to him; he got a kick out of it and liked his new binoculars a lot (they’re sitting on his desk now).  To show his appreciation for Ty’s hard work and dedication, and because a bribe is a bribe, my boss told me that I’ll have to go to the library during the day sometime and surprise Ty.  Sweet, good job Ty, now what kind of gift can you make for the car salesmen so that we can get Mommy a brand new fast car?