Posted by Keith | Posted in Family, Holidays, Play Stories | Posted on 07-03-2014
He Knows Who’s Naughty & Nice
Welcome back for part 2 of our Agent Santa series. Be sure to catch up on part 1 if you missed it.
Once the lists were created, it was onto phase 2: “Operation Bad Credit”, where all the magic is made. We’re well past the age-old practice of buying gifts and hiding them in the house, too risky. A while back, we switched to ordering everything online, but even that technique has outlived its usefulness. We grew tired of all the questions regarding this box and that box, since the mailman clearly didn’t understand the importance of delivering packages while kids are in school (talk about selfish). Now days, we order gifts online and have them delivered to a friend’s house, this way everything is out of sight; no questions asked. The only problem with this option is the hassle in getting all the gifts to the house and wrapped at the last minute. This is where my super-agent stealth training came in. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to sneak box after box into the house, down 2 flights of stairs into the basement, and to secure them out of sight, without waking up sleeping children? I remember dropping a box at one point and going all Jason Borne and diving behind the couch for cover because I thought the noise startled the boys. Luckily, they didn’t wake up and I didn’t have to use my nerve agent darts.
Posted by Keith | Posted in Family, Holidays, Tre | Posted on 27-02-2014
He Knows Who’s Naughty & Who’s Nice
I’m just going to go ahead and get this out of the way: yes, it is the end of February and yes, this is a post about Christmas. But before, you start throwing around words like crazy, delirious, and psycho; give me a moment to explain myself. I’m none of those things, well maybe a little crazy, but that’s not the driving force behind this “well past its due date” post. The true emotion fueling this late February Christmas post is selfishness. Selfishness is clearly in direct opposition to the meaning of Christmas, but hey at least I’m being honest. Before we move forward, let me elaborate on exactly how my selfishness has led us to this point. Every night as I drive home through my neighborhood, I am forced to view houses that STILL feel the need to showcase their holiday cheer by continuing to turn their Christmas lights on. Really people? We’re exactly two months removed from the holidays and you’re still turning those Christmas lights on? Listen, at this point, the only reminder of Christmas that I expect is when I open my credit card statement each month; I don’t need my neighbors reminding me every day as well. So due to the fact that I’m forced to relive Christmas every evening, I felt that it was only right that I spread the holiday cheer around to my readers as well. I mean, what are friends for if they can’t wallow in each other’s pain? So you see, I’m not actually being selfish; it’s quite the opposite, I’m doing my duty to ensure that each of you are keeping those friendship skills sharp. You can thank me later.
Posted by Keith | Posted in Baby Guppy, KayKay | Posted on 05-02-2014
I hate baby monitors!!! What happened to the good old days, when if a baby wasn’t loud enough to be heard through two sets of closed doors and a flight of stairs, then there was nothing wrong with them? I attribute all the ills of this world that have been perpetrated by generation Z on baby monitors! They are the culprit, they are to blame, and they should be banned worldwide. I refuse to play big brother, constantly keeping an watchful eye over all of my child’s actions, any longer.
Posted by Keith | Posted in Activities, Tre | Posted on 18-12-2013
Speed, agility, determination, confidence, and killer instincts; these are all qualities associated with being a good wrestler. These are also the same qualities that I see when I look at Tre. So if I were a betting man, and I am, I’d put top dollar on the fact that this kid is destined to be an awesome wrestler. Well, there’s a funny thing about betting men, most of them bet unwisely and this case doesn’t seem to be much different. Much like my lottery numbers last week, when it comes to Tre and wrestling, I didn’t pick a winner. But that’s okay, because again, like most betting men; I have no idea of when to cut my losses. So yup, I won’t be giving up on my little guy yet, I’ll keep betting on Tre to become an awesome wrestler. Now before you go handing out supportive father of the year awards, you might want to read on to learn about his first tournament experience. Then decide if I truly see a diamond in the rough or if I’m as delusional as my dreams of winning today’s $500+ million Mega Millions jackpot.
Posted by Keith | Posted in Gift Guides, giveaways | Posted on 03-12-2013
As most of you already know, I’m a budding photographer and it’s been one of my passions for a bit of time now; so I was totally excited when www.Instajunction.com approached me about doing a product review. Instajunction is a website that allows you to order custom products using your own photographs from Instagram, Facebook, or your own collection on your computer. It felt like the perfect partnership: they get information about their products broadcasted to a larger audience and I get to see what some of my work looks like actually printed out. I’ve been a bit nervous to print my work so far, afraid it wouldn’t look good on paper. So this product review gave me the opportunity to come out of my shell a little. Thank You Instajunction.
I’m going to break the review down into the following categories:
- Product Variety
- Ordering Experience
- Delivery Speed
- Product Quality
Posted by Keith | Posted in Advice, Family, Tre, Ty | Posted on 21-11-2013
I need to start out by being up front on this one; I am by no means an expert on the following topic. Most of the time, I am a self-proclaimed expert on all things in all places, but when it comes to sibling interactions, I have to claim ignorance. Being the only child, you don’t get much experience with the day to day dealings of brothers and sisters. Cousins are the closest thing you have and if they piss you off, it’s not long before each of you are back in your separate homes and don’t have to see the other for a while. Apparently, that’s not the case with siblings, from what I’ve been told, there is no escape, there is no “un-brother” button ala Facebook. Once you have a sibling, you pretty much have them for life and this can become problematic, based on the stories I’ve heard and things I’ve witnessed.
Posted by Keith | Posted in Fefe | Posted on 07-11-2013
Say Hello To The Bad Guy
Last night I learned a valuable lesson: nice guys finish last! Yup, that’s right, I’m Mr. Nice Guy, I’m the husband who goes out of his way to ensure his wife is happy. I’m the Dad who would do anything to make his children smile. I’m the friend that would give you his last in a heartbeat. I’m Mr. Nice Guy, not an ounce of hate, meanness, or hostility in my body. You would think that such a personality would be rewarded for the kind acts of service put out into the world. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Last night, I found out that there is no reward for being nice, there is no gold medal for helping people. Instead, you get paid in pain, humiliation, and emptiness. Therefore, after essentially hitting rock bottom by being ridiculed for my kind gestures, I’ve decided that there is no more Mr. Nice Guy, and you all can say hello to the Bad Guy; me reign of terror begins today.
Posted by Keith | Posted in Advice, Baby Guppy, Family, Fefe | Posted on 01-11-2013
Today I told Fefe to hit the road. I made her pack her bags and head for the hills. I just couldn’t take it anymore, today makes 9 very long months since things just haven’t been the same between us and I’ve finally put my foot down; enough is enough, the BS ends here!
Posted by Keith | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on 30-10-2013
Dad’s Hard Knock Life
I am a Dad. It’s my job, it’s my lifetime career, it’s the thing I’m most passionate about. Being a Dad isn’t easy, there are days when you have to do things that you just don’t want to do, there are days when you’re forced to do things that just don’t make sense, and then there are the days when you feel like it’ll never end. These are a few of the struggles that I am faced with on a daily basis. Based on the previous few sentences, maybe some of you are thinking: “hey buddy, maybe you should just switch careers”, believe me, I’ve given it some serious consideration on several occasions. However, for some reason ‘DEADBEAT’ doesn’t seem like the type of title you’d want on your resume. So I continue to push on and carry out my duties. So that you guys don’t think I’m being a Whiny Willie, I’m going to take you thru a few examples that substantiate the claims of hardship that I’ve listed above.
Posted by Keith | Posted in Activities, Advice, Fefe | Posted on 23-10-2013
And we’re back for the thrilling conclusion to our ‘No Means No’ post. Will our hero reach enlightenment and understand the true meaning behind the word humility? Will he stand and fight against those who plot to thwart his plans of ultimate rightness? Will the injustices put forth by those who are habitually wrong, but continue to think they are correct be stomped out like a bug? Find out the answers to all of these questions and more by reading part 2 of our 2 part mega saga below.